LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 

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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



THE GREAT COLONIAL BRANCHES OF THE FIRM: 

CANADA, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND 

AND SOUTH AFRICA 



BY 

MAX O'RELL 

Author of " John Bull and his Island," " Jonathan and his Continent,' 
" A Frenchman in America," etc., etc. 



SEP 20 1894 



NEW YORK 
CHARLES L. WEBSTER & COMPANY 

1894 



V 
Copyright, 1S94, 
By Bainbridge Colby. 
[A U rights reserved. ] 



3^ 



w 



X 



^ 



THE LIBRARY 
OF CONGRESS 

WASHINGTON 



PKESb OF 

JKNKINS k McCOWAN, 

NEW YORK. 



TO 

MY TRAVELING COMPANIONS 

AROUND THE WORLD, 

MY WIFE 

AND 

MY DAUGHTER. 



CONTENTS. 



An Introductory Reminder . . • • .11 

CHAPTER I 

France, the First Country of the World — Foreigners, and what 
is Understood by the Term — Britishers— Englishmen at 
Home and Germans Abroad — Branch Establishments of 
John Bri' & Co. . . . • • -15 

CHAPTER n 

French Canada— Quebec— A Bit of France Buried in the Snow— 
The French Canadians are the French of the Seventeenth 
Century — Puritan Catholicism — The Frozen St. Lawrence- 
Montreal — Canadian Sports— I Meet Tartarin . . 22 

CHAPTER HI 

Ottawa — Toronto — The Canadian Women — Winnipeg and St. 
Boniface, or England and France, Ten Minutes' Walk from 
Each Other— The Political Parties of Canada. . . 29 

CHAPTER IV 

Flying Through the Far West — The Prairies — Colorado — Den- 
ver—The Rockies— Salt Lake City— The Mormons— The 
Desert— The Sierras— The Plains of California— San Fran- 
cisco — China Town — Impressions Confirmed — A Branch of 
the Firm John Bull & Co. Started in Business for Itself . 33 

CHAPTER V 

The Pacific Ocean — The Sandwich Islands — Honolulu — The 
Southern Cross — What a Swindle '—The Samoan Islands — 
Apia — Mr. Robert Louis Stevenson — Auckland — Arrival of 
the Philistines . . . . • • .40 

CHAPTER VI 

Sydney — I have seen the Harbor — The Australia Hotel — The 
French in Sydney — The Town — The Parks — Cupid in the 
Open Air — Little Clandestine Visits to the South Head— 
" Engaged " — Melbourne— Activity — All Scottish — The 
Holy Tartufes— Adelaide— Brisbane— Ballarat—Bendigo— 
Geelong . . . • . • -51 

5 



6 CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER VII 

PAGE 

People of Society, People in Society, and "Society" People — 
The " Sets " — Society Papers — " Miss D. Looked Thrillingly 
Lovely in Electric Blue" — The Australian Women are 
Beautiful — Imitation of the Old World — A Tasmanian Snob 
— Darling Point, Pott's Point, and Sore Point — A Melbourne 
Journalist on His Townspeople . . . -71 

CHAPTER VIII 

Hospitality in the Colonies — Different People at Home and 
Abroad — Extreme Courtesy of the Australian — Childishness 
—Visit to the Four Everlasting Buildings of the Colonial 
Towns — Impressions — Wild Expenditure — Give Us a Prison 
— "Who is Bismarck?" — "Don't know" — In the Olden 
Time . . . . . . . -79 

CHAPTER IX 

Colonial "Cheek" — Mutual Admiration Society — An Inquisitive 
Colonial — A Verbatim Conversation — An Amiable Landlord 
— Modest Politicians — Advice to England by an Australian 
Minister — Provincialisms — Napier — Opinions on Madame 
Sarah Bernhardt — Mr. H. M. Stanley and the Municipal 
Councilor — The Czar had Better Behave Himself— I Intro- 
duce Sophocles to the Colonies and Serve Corneille a Bad 
Turn — An Invitation Accepted with a Vengeance . . 87 

CHAPTER X 

The Curse of the Colonies — A Perfect Gentleman — A Town Full 
of Animation — A Drunkard Begs me to give the Audience a 
Lecture on Waterloo — A Jolly Fellow — Pater Familias on the 
Spree— An Ingenious Drunkard — Great Feats — Taverns and 
Teetotalers — Why there are no Cafes in the Colonies — A 
Philosopher — Why a Young English Girl could not get En- 
gaged ........ lOI 

CHAPTER XI 

Types — Caprices of Nature — Men and Women — Precocious Chil- 
dren — Prehistoric Dress — Timidity of the Women — I Shock 
some Tasmanian Ladies — Anglo-Saxon Contrasts . .116 

CHAPTER XII 

The Bush — The Eucalyptus — The Climate — Description of the 
Bush and its Inhabitants — The Concert of the Bush — The 
Tragedians and the Clowns of the Company — The Kangaroo 
— The Workers and the Idlers of the Bush — F5eggars on 
Horseback ....... 122 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER XIII 

PAGE 

The Most Piquant Thing in Australia — Aspect of the Small 
Towns — Each takes his Pleasure where he Finds it — Aus- 
tralian Life — Tea, always Tea — Whiskey or Water — Favorite 
Occupation — Seven Meals a Day — Squatters . . 131 

CHAPTER XIV 

The Australian Natives — The Last Tasmanian is in the Museum 
— A Broken-down King Accepts my Penny — Diana Pays me 
a Visit — The Trackers — The Queensland Aborigines — The 
Boomerang — Curious Rites — The Ladies Refuse to Wash 
for the Bachelors ...... 142 

CHAPTER XV 

Politics and Politicians — The Price of Liberty — The Legislative 
Chambers — Governors — Comparisons between American and 
British Institutions — The Politician and the Order of St. 
Michael anci St. George — An Eloquent Candidate — The Hon- 
orables — Colonial Peerage — Sir Henry Parkes — A Word to 
Her Majesty Queen Victoria ..... 148 

CHAPTER XVI 

The Resources of Australia — The Mines — 2,500 Per Cent. Div- 
idends — Wool — Viticulture — The Wealth of Australia Com- 
pared to the Wealth of Most Other Countries — Why France 
is Richer than Other Nations ..... 156 

CHAPTER XVII 

The Workman Sovereign Master of Australia — His Character — 
The Artist and the Bungler — A Sham Democrat — Govern- 
ment by and for the Workingman — Public Orators — Stories 
of Workmen — End of the Tragic Story of a Russian Trav- 
eler ........ 162 

CHAPTER XVIII 

The Religions of the Colonies — The Catholic Church and Its 
Work — The Baptists and the Sweet Shops — Good News for 
the Little Ones — A Presbyterian Landlady in Difficulties — I 
Give a Presbyterian Minister His Deserts — Christian Asso- 
ciation of Good Young Men — The Big Drum, or the Church 
at the Fair — Pious Bankers^An Edifying Prayer . .170 

CHAPTER XIX 

The Australian Newspapers — The Large Dailies — Weekly Edi- 
tions — The " Australasian " — The Comic Papers — The So- 
ciety Papers — The " Bulletin" .... 184 



8 CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER XX 

PAGE 

Amusements at the Antipodes — The Australian Gayer than the 
Englishman — Melbourne — Lord Hopetoun — The Racing 
Craze — The Melbourne Cup — Flemington Compared with 
Longchamps and Epsom ..... i88 

CHAPTER XXI 

The Drama in the Colonies — Madame Sarah Bernliardt in 
Australia — Anglo-Saxon Theatres Compared with Theatres 
in Paris — Variety Shows — The Purveyor of Intellectual 
Pleasures — An Important Actor — The Theatre in Small 
Towns ...,,... ig5 

CHAPTER XXII 

Railroads in the Colonies — You Set Out but You Do Not Arrive — 
A Woman in a Hurry — Mixed Trains — First Class Travelers 
— Curious Traveling Companions .... 202 

CHAPTER XXIII 

Spirit of Nationality and Independence — Local Patriotism — 

Every Man for himself and the Colonies for the Colonials . 206 

CHAPTER XXIV 

Tasmania — The Country — The Inhabitants of Other Days and 
the Inhabitants of the Present Day- — Visit to the Depots — 
Survivors of the " Ancien Regime " — A Tough old Scotch- 
woman — A Touching Scene — Launceston and Hobart . 210 

CHAPTER XXV 

New Zealand — Norway and Switzerland at the Antipodes — The 
Point of the Earth's Surface that is Farthest from Paris — 
No Snakes, but a Great Many Scots — The Small Towns — A 
Curious Inscription ...... 219 

CHAPTER XXVI 

The Maoris — Types — Tattooing — Ways and Customs — Native 
Chivalry — The Legends of the Country — Sir George Grey — 
Lucky Landlords — The " Haka " — The Beautiful Victoria 
— Maori Villages — New Zealand the Prettiest Country in 
the World . . . , ... . 227 

CHAPTER XXVII 

From Melbourne to the Cape of Good Hope — The 'Australasian' 
— Sunday on Board Ship — Conversions — Death of a Poor 
Mother — Ceremony — Table Bay — Arrival at Cape Town , 240 



CONTENTS. ■ 9 

CHAPTER XXViri 

PAGE 

Anglo-Dutch — John Bull, Charged with the Care of the Cape for 
the Prince of Orange, Keeps it for Himself — Mixture of 
Races — Cape Town — The Town and its Environs — Paarl — 
The Huguenots — Stellenbosch — Happy Folk — Drapers' 
Assistants — Independence a Characteristic Feature of South 
Africans ....... 245 

CHAPTER XXIX 

The Dutch Puritans — "The Doppers " — A Case of Conscience — 
The Afrikander-Bond — Its Relations with John Bull — 
I'ickets at Reduced Price — John Bull lies Low — " God Save 
the Queen" in the South African Republic . . . 253 

CHAPTER XXX 

Mr. Rhodes, Premier of Cape Colony — The Man — His Work— 

His Aim .... . . 257 

CHAPTER XXXI 

South African Towns — The Hotels — The Usefulness of the Moon 
— Kaffirland — Kimberley — The Diamond Mines — The De 
Beers Company — A Week's Find — Life in the " Compounds" 
— A Disagreeable Week before going to buy Wives . 260 

CHAPTER XXXII 

The Country — The " Veld " — The Plateaus — The Climate— The 
South African Animals — The Ant-hills — The South Coast 
— Natal — Durban, the Prettiest Town in South Africa — 
Zulus and Coolies ...... 271 

CHAPTER XXXHI 

The Natives of South Africa — First Disappointment — Natives in 
a Natural State — Scenes of Savage Life — The Kraal — 
Customs — The Women — Types — Among the Kaffirs and the 
Zulus — Zulus in " Undress" — I buy a Lady's Costume, and 
Carry it off in my Pocket — What Strange Places Virtue 
Hides in^The Missionaries gone to the Wrong Place . 279 

CHAPTER XXXIV 

The Orange Free State — The Transvaal — A Page or Two of 
History — The Boers at Home — Manners and Customs — The 
Boers and the Locusts — The Boers will have to " Mend or 
End" — Bloemfontein, Pretoria, and Johannesburg . . 2g2 



lO CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER XXXV 



Johannesburg, the Gold City — The Boers again — The Future of 
the Transvaal — Miraculous Development of Johannesburg — 
Strange Society — Stranger Wives and Husbands — Aristoc- 
racy in Low Water — The Captain and the Magistrate . 300 

CHAPTER XXXVI 

"Oom" Paul, President of the Transvaal — 'John Bull's Redoubt- 
able Adversary — A Short Interview with this Interesting 
Personage — A Picturesque Meeting between two Diplomats 307 

CHAPTER XXXVII 

The Success of the Firm, John Bull & Co. — The Explanation 
— The Freest Countries of the World — Illustrations to Prove 
it — The Future of the British Empire — Reflections of a Sour 
Critics-Advice to Young Men — And Now Let Us Go Back 
and Look on an Old Wall Covered with Ivy . . . 313 



AN INTRODUCTORY REMINDER. 



An Englishman was one day swaggering before a 
Frenchman about the immensity of the British Empire, 
and he concluded his remarks by saying, " Please to 
remember, my dear sir, that the sun never sets on the 
possessions of the English." " I am not surprised at 
that," replied the good Frenchman; " the sun is obliged 
to always keep an eye on the rascals." 

Here are the details of that British Empire which pre- 
vents the sun from enjoying a few hours' rest every 
night. I borrow them, bringing them up to date, from 
John Bull and his Island, of which volume this is the 
companion and supplement. 

"John Bull's estate, which he quietly adds a little 
piece to day by day, consists of the British Isles, to 
which he has given the rather queer name of United 
Kingdom, to make you believe that Pat is fond of him ; 
the Channel Islands ; the fortress of Gibraltar, which 
enables him to pass comfortably through the narrowest 
of straits ; and the islands of Malta and Cyprus, that 
serve him as advanced sentinels in the Mediterranean. 
He has not Constantinople — which is to be regretted. 



12 AN INTRODUCTORY REMINDER. 

If ever he should get it, he would be satisfied with his 
slice of Europe. 

" In Egypt he is not quite at home yet. He took 
great care not to invent the Suez Canal. On the con- 
trary, he moved heaven and earth to try and prevent 
its being made, and he called M. Ferdinand de Lesseps, 
at the time he conceived the idea, ' a dangerous lu- 
natic' To-day he has ;^4,ooo,ooo of public money 
invested in the concern, and I have no doubt that now, 
as he receives his dividends, he takes quite a different 
view of that great undertaking. 

" From Aden, on the other side of the Indian Ocean, 
he can quietly contemplate the finest jewel in his crown, 
the Indian Empire — an empire of two hundred and 
eighty-five millions of people, ruled by princes literally 
covered with gold and precious stones, who black his 
boots and look happy. 

" On the West Coast of Africa he possesses Sierra 
Leone, Gambia, the Gold Coast, Lagos, Ascension, St. 
Helena, where he kept in chains the greatest soldier and 
the most formidable monarch of modern times. In the 
East, the Island of Mauritius belongs to him. In the 
South, he has the Cape of Good Hope, Natal, and he 
protects Zululand, Pondoland, Basutoland, Nyassaland, 
Bechuanaland, Mashonaland, Matabeleland, and a few 
other little lands about there. 

" In America he does not possess quite as much as 
he used to, but he says he does not want it. He still 



AN INTRODUCTORY REMINDER. 1 3 

reckons among his possessions there, Canada, New- 
foundland, Bermuda, the West Indies, Jamaica, part of 
Honduras, the Island of Trinidad, English Guiana, Falk- 
land, etc. 

" Correctly speaking, Oceanica belongs to him en- 
tirely. New Zealand is twice as large as England, and 
Australia alone covers an area equal to that of almost 
the whole of Europe. 

" ' But what shall it profit a man if he gain the whole 
world and lose his own soul ? ' says Scripture. This is 
just what John Bull thought, and so, in the other world, 
he has knocked down to himself the kingdom of hea- 
ven, in his eyes as incontestably a British possession as 
India, Canada, or Australia." 

With the exception of a few omissions, more or less 
important, such are the assets of the firm, John Bull 
& Co. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



CHAPTER I. 

France the First Country of the World — Foreigners, and what is 
Understood by the Term — Britishers — Englishmen at Home 
and Germans Abroad — Branch Establishments of John Bull 
&Co. 

France is the foremost country of the world. This 
is a fact which it were puerile to seek to prove, seeing 
that the French admit it themselves. 

Happy and content in their own country, which is 
able to support them, the French, of all the nations of 
the world, are the people who least bother their heads 
about what is happening outside it : in fact, the masses 
of the people are in crass ignorance about the rest of 
the planet. 

The Englishman somewhat despises foreigners ; the 
Swiss loves them as the sportsman loves game ; the Ger- 
man looks upon them as heaven-sent blessings that per- 
mit him to earn a peaceful living far from his fatherland, 
now turned into a huge garrison. The Frenchman has 
quite a different feeling toward foreigners : he does not 
dislike, nor does he despise them ; he pities them, and 
thinks them vastly amusing. The Frenchman even be- 
lieves in his heart that foreigners Avere created and sent 
into the world to minister to his diversion. He looks 



l6 JOHN BULL & CO. 

upon the Belgian as a dear, good simpleton, the Italian 
as a noisy nobody, the German as a heavy, pompous 
pedant ; he thinks the Americans mad and the English 
eccentric and grotesque. And he goes on his way de- 
lighted. 

I have seen BVench people laugh side-splittingly when 
I told them that the English drink champagne with 
their dinner and claret at dessert. 

To be sure, my own way of looking at these things is 
very much the same. How should it be otherwise ? 
After all, a Frenchman is a Frenchman to the end of 
the chapter. 

However, eight years of constant traveling about the 
world must have rubbed off some of my angles in the 
way of French provincialism, and I believe myself to 
have become so far cosmopolitan that the reader may 
accept as pretty impartial the impressions (I say im- 
pressions and not opinions^ contained in this little volume. 

Of one thing, at all events, I am firmly convinced, and 
that is that one nation is not better nor worse than an- 
other ; each one is different from the others, that is all. 
This is a deep conviction forced upon one by travel. 

To a great many people, the word foreigner signifies 
a droll creature, a kind of savage. In the eyes of a 
traveler, a foreigner is a worthy man who is as good as 
himself, and who belongs to a nation which has as many 
good qualities as the one that he himself hails from. 
After all, no one is born a foreigner : we all belong some- 
where, do we not ? 

I remember an American who opened a conversation 
with me by launching at me, as a preliminary, the fol- 
lowing question : 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1/ 

" Foreigner, ain't you ? " 

" I shall be," I replied, " when I set foot in your coun- 
try." 

We were on board the steamer between Liverpool 
and New York. 

If everyone traveled much, the peace of the world 
would be secure. 

"Traveling," said Madam de Stael, "is a sad pleas- 
ure." I think it is a most interesting occupation ; be- 
sides, is it not, up to now, the only way that has been 
invented for seeing and knowing the world ? Man in- 
terests me everywhere, whether he be white or black, 
civilized or savage, and that is why I travel. 

But in this volume the subject for treatment is not 
the world in general, but that British world of which 
England itself gives but a faint idea. To see the Eng- 
lishman — the Britisher, rather — in all his glory, you must 
look at him in those lands where he has elbow-room, 
where nothing trammels him and where he has been al- 
lowed to freely develop his characteristic traits. It was 
with this object in view that I set out two years ago to 
visit him in all imaginable climates, from forty below 
zero to a hundred and ten above (perfect Turkish baths) ; 
that I pushed into the far corners of Canada and the 
United States ; visited the islands of the Pacific, Aus- 
tralia, Tasmania, New Zealand, from north to south, 
from east to west ; traveled all over South Africa, Cape 
Colony, Natal, the now independent republics of the 
Transvaal and the Orange Free State; in a word, all 
those worlds which English energy has raised, as if by 
enchantment, in the most distant oceans. 

Another conviction that I have acquired in traveling 



l8 JOHN BULL & CO. 

is that nations are like individuals : when they succeed 
at something, it is because they possess qualities which 
explain their success. And I hope the reader, when he 
closes these pages, will be able to explain to himself 
how the English have succeeded in founding the British 
Empire, 

India I have kept for another voyage. 

India is not a colony in the proper sense of the word ; 
it is a possession, an asset of the firm, John Bull & Co., 
whereas the Colonies which I visited are branches of the 
said firm. The difference is very distinct. 

In India is to be seen John Bull Pacha, 2i grand seign- 
eur^ followed by gaily robed servitors who do profound 
obeisance to him. It is the master in the midst of a sub- 
jected people. In the Colonies the conquered races have 
been suppressed. In Canada you see John Bull quite 
at home, busy, fat and flourishing, a pink tip to his nose, 
and his head snug in a fur cap : it is John Bull in a ball. 
It is the seal. In Australia you see him long and lean, 
noncJialant, happy-go-lucky, his face sunburned, his head 
crowned with a wide-brimmed light felt hat, walking 
with slow tread, his arms pendant, his legs out of all 
proportion. It is John Bull drawn out. It is the kanga- 
roo. 

But it is John Bull still, John Bull Junior, eating his 
morning porridge, and living just as if he were still in 
his old island, eating his roast beef and plum pudding, 
and washing it down with tea or whiskey. He is hardly 
changed at all. 

Two full years without a break, what a voyage ! Two 
years without speaking, and almost without hearing, any- 



JOHN BULL & CO. I9 

thing but English ! No French to be heard anywhere 
except in Canada — ^vvhat a humihation for a fellow- 
countryman of Jacques Cartier ! However, something 
that cheered me greatly was that everywhere I went I 
found Germans blacking boots and waiting at table, I 
neither speak nor understand German, and am foolish 
enough to boast of it ; but this has caused me no incon- 
venience of any kind. The Germans speak English and 
even frequently forget their own tongue. This is very 
sensible of them, for it is far easier to learn any other 
language than to try to remember German. And that 
is why the Germans of New York, Chicago, Sydney, 
Adelaide, and the Cape speak, think, believe, and pray 
with the English. 

I one day asked a distinguished English writer, who 
had been around the world several times, whether he 
intended to publish his impressions of Australia. 

"My dear fellow," he replied, "the inhabitants of 
the Colonies are so kind, so hospitable, so proud of their 
country! How on earth can I write a book and tell 
them how bored I was all the time I was there ? " 

It is a fact that no one can expect to find the country 
that has a future as interesting as the one that has a past. 
My English confrere was not only a writer, he was an 
artist, and young countries seldom contain the where- 
with to satisfy artistic tastes. On the other hand, if 
you have any sympathy with your subject, if human 
nature interests you, if you are curious to learn how 
nations have been born, and how national character is 
developed, is there not in the Colonies, just as in the 
United States, a vast field of observation to explore ? 

Sixty years ago England used to send her convicts to 



20 JOHN BULL & CO. 

Australia, as we French still send ours to New Cale- 
donia, At the present time Australia has towns as im- 
portant and as populous as Marseilles and Liverpool. 

Will it not interest us to have a look at John Bull 
disguised as an Australian, swearing by Australia, and 
ready to send the English about their business if ever 
they should take it upon them to meddle too much 
with his affairs ? Will it not be interesting to watch the 
evolution of all the eccentricities of the English char- 
acter ? 

If the English writer in question found his sojourn 
in Australia tiresome, I found mine very entertain- 
ing. It is true that I missed seeing many picturesque 
scenes ; but that was not my fault. I was in the hands 
of an impresario,* who constantly reminded me, when 
I asked him to take me to see some renowned beautiful 
place in the neighborhood, that he was not a tourist 
agent, but only a lecture manager ; and he understood 
his business so well that it would have been ungrateful 
on my part to utter a murmur. My manager appeared 
to have no taste for scenery, and the finest prospect 
that could be offered to his gaze was a hall crowded 
with people who had come to hear me talk. 

If I did not see all the country, I believe I saw all the 
people. This is the essential point in the case of studies 
which, light as they may be, are studies of character. 

Let us, then, study the English in all those countries 
that are to be seen marked in red on the maps of the 

* Between September 21, 1891, and August 21, 1893, I gave 446 pub- 
lic lectures in the United States, Canada, Australia and New Zealand 
and South Africa, under the direction of Major Pond in America, 
and of Mr. Robert S. Smvthe in the Colonies. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 21 

world published in England— countries that John Bull 
has acquired at the cost of very httle blood and a good 
deal of whiskey, always converting the natives to Chris- 
tianity and their territory to his own uses. 



CHAPTER II. 

French Canada*— Quebec— A Bit of France Buried in the Snow 
—The French Canadians are the French of the Seventeenth 
Century — Puritan Catholicism— The Frozen St. Lawrence- 
Montreal— Canadian Sports— I Meet Tartarin. 

If you are in a hurry to reach San Francisco, book 
your seat by the New York Central Railway, but make 
a short halt at the Falls of Niagara, for the world has 
nothing grander to offer to your sight. When you have 
well feasted your eyes and drunk in the wonders around 
you, take the next train, and for two days and a half 
travel incessantly : get over the ground as fast as you 
can, and you may as well lower the blinds to spare your- 
self the monotony of the interminable prairies. Read, 
eat, smoke, and sleep, if you can. When you get within 
twenty or thirty miles of Denver, lift the blinds again 
and look about you, for the Rocky Mountains are in 
sight. From Denver to San Francisco do not miss a 
single detail of the landscape ; a series of enchantments 
awaits you and will unfold itself, hour after hour, as the 
train flies along the rails. If, however, you are not in 
a hurry, pay a visit to Canada, French Canada especially, 
for it is the quaintest and perhaps the most interesting 
part of the great Western Continent. 

In America, John Bull does not possess quite as much 
as he used to ; but he says he does not want it. He is 

*On this journey I only spent a few days in Canada. In a former 
volume I wrote some impressions of that country. 

22 



JOHN BULL & CO. 23 

a philosopher. He even goes so far as to congratulate 
his cousin Jonathan on having made himself master in 
his own house, and certain wise people in Britain assert 
that it was predicted in the Holy Scriptures that the 
House of Israel should one day be divided, and that an 
important remnant of it would declare its independence. 
By the House of Israel, or the chosen people of God, 
must be understood the British nation ; the remnant is 
America. It is all as plain as A B C. 

Canada still belongs to England, and it is a very 
pretty dependency, with a superficial area almost equal 
to that of the United States. 

I know nothing more picturesque than the scenery 
between New York and Albany along the Hudson 
River in autumn, when America has wrapped herself in 
her mantle of scarlet and gold, and the clear blue sky is 
reflected in the dancing waves of the noble Hudson. 

From Albany, pass into Maine and New England, 
across immense pine forests, and later the White Moun- 
tains, dominated by Mount Washington. Passes, prec- 
ipices, waterfalls, beautify the landscape, and Switzer- 
land has nothing wilder or more picturesque to offer. 
From there push on into Canada, and let your first halt 
be at Quebec, on the confluence of the St. Lawrence 
and the St. Charles rivers. 

When I visited Quebec the ice of winter was break- 
ing' up, and the rivers were full of small icebergs, which 
made the crossing from the train at Pont Levis quite an 
exciting voyage. The skipper of the ferry-boat waited 
and watched until a comparatively clear passage seemed 
possible, and at last, with many twistings and dodgings 
and bumps, the boat reached the Quebec quay. The 



24 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



people speak of this annual break-up of winter as " the 
flood," and when the melted snow comes down from 
the upper town, a house in the lower part of Que- 
bec must be anything but a desirable residence. In 
many streets the roadway had been raised eight or ten 
feet by the snows which had been cleared from the pave- 
ments after each fall and heaped up in the road. 




QUEBEC. 

Along this elevated way the sleighs ran above the level 
of the pedestrian's head. 

The grandeur of the mighty cliff, crowned with the 
citadel, charms your gaze, and a stroll through the city 
will make you believe you have strayed into some old 
Breton town, the sing-song intonation in the people's 
speech, the sign-boards over the doors, Au Boii St. Jo- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 25 

seph, A Notre Dame des Donleurs, An Petit Agneau sans 
TacJie, the Breton and Norman names of the shopkeep- 
ers, the Hue-la of the carters urging on their horses, all 
help to complete the illusion. 

Only a Norman or a Breton could feel the pleasure 
and emotion that I felt at seeing these children of old 
France in Quebec, speaking and thinking as the French 
spoke and thought in Louis XIV. 's time. Their lan- 
guage has remained the old Norman dialect of the 
langiie d\nl, such as the peasants of lower Normandy 
speak it to-day, innocent of diphthongs. Si fas sef, eh 
ben va here un coup. You will hear core for encore, des 
f one's for qiielquefois, a cette heure for maintenant. Add 
to this the influence of the English language, and you 
have the explanation of such expressions as the fol- 
lowing : etre particnlicr ior /aire attention, rcsigner for 
donner sa demission, lecturer for /aire des conferences, 
crosser for traverser, laisscr for quitter. The preterite 
tense is frequently employed instead of the past indefi- 
nite. Thus you may read in a newspaper : Le Gouver- 
neiir laissa Quebec ce matin for le Gouverneur a quitte 
Quebec ce matin. 

The Catholicism of the French Canadians is not the 
genial and cheerful religion of these days, but the Cath- 
olicism which in France, two hundred years ago, had to 
compete with Calvinism, and was austere, sombre, harsh, 
tyrannical and almost puritanical, and which to-day in 
Canada forbids round dances and frowns on many inno- 
cent pleasures. 

Education is directed by the priests, who, in return 
for this concession on the part of John Bull, stimulate 



26 JOHN BULL & CO. 

none but feelings of loyalty to the English Crown. This 
is part of the excellent plan adopted by the English in 
governing their Colonies all over the world. One result 
of the wise laxity of rule is that the French Canadians 
take little part in politics. They are content to belong 
to England, because it means liberty, and assures them 
the enjoyment of their earnings. The French Cana- 
dians are hard-working and thrifty ; they marry very 
young, and have large families ; in fact, they increase 
almost as rapidly as the population of the British Isles, 
and families of twelve, fifteen, even twenty children 
are not uncommon. Few of the sons go away from 
home, and the province of Quebec bids fair to be soon 
as French as the city itself. 

What brightness, what briskness there is in the winter 
climate of Canada ! and how astonishingly little one 
feels the cold under that blue and sunny sky, though 
the thermometer may mark forty degrees below zero ! 
I was told that many men do not wear an overcoat dur- 
ing their first winter in Canada, except when driving. 
The air is so dry and full of electricity that everything 
metallic which you touch brings an electric spark from 
your finger-nails. I several times lit the gas by means 
of this spark. When you drive, it is in open sleighs. 
There are few covered ones. But you are mufified in 
furs to the very eyes, and glow with warmth as the 
sleigh goes merrily over the frozen snow with tinkling 
bells. In Montreal, and other gay cities of Canada, 
winter is full of delights. Skating, sleighing, toboggan- 
ing and snow-shoeing parties are the order of the day, 
and, I may add, night, for the latter generally take 
place by moonlight. On my arrival at Montreal, about 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



27 



six hours' journey from Quebec, I was straightway 
taken to see some racing on the St. Lawrence. Not 
boat-races, but horse-races. The ice on the river is 
about three feet thick in winter, and tram-rails are laid 
across for a service of cars. A novel and astonishinsf 
sight it was to me to see the horses drawing those 
heavy loads over the ice, as if it had been a macadamized 
road. Then there are the ice-boats, which skim over 




MONTREAL FROM MOUNT ROYAL PARK. 

the ice at such breathless speed that to remain on their 
decks at all you have to lie down and hold on. 

Montreal is the town of sports and gaiety /«r excel- 
lence; it is the home of the ice-palace. Many and merry 
are the fetes held within those glittering walls built of 
blocks of ice cemented with water. And where else 
can such toboggan rides be had as the giant slope of 
Mount Royal provides? 



28 JOHN BULL & CO. 

During my stay in Montreal and Quebec, I often met 
a Frenchman, a good Parisian, a picture of health and 
happiness, a charming talker, full of life, happy to be 
alive, and getting amusement out of everything he came 
across ; a little bit Gascon, it is true, but so little ; a 
Tartarin of good society. 

The day I left Montreal I met him in the hall of the 
Windsor Hotel, muffled up in a white woolen hooded 
tunic, with a red sash around the waist, and on his head 
a woolen cap, with its tassel jauntily hanging on his 
shoulder. The costume was completed by immense 
thick stockings and knickerbockers, and in his hand he 
carried snow-shoes and an alpenstock — the regular snow- 
shoeing get-up. 

"Aha!" said I; "you are off on an expedition over 
the snow ? " 

" Not I," he replied ; and his good, open face beamed 
with fun. " I am going to get photographed.' 

Not all the Tarasconnais come from Tarascon. 



CHAPTER III. 

Ottawa — Toronto — The Canadian Women — Winnipeg and St. 
Boniface, or England and France Ten Minutes' Walic From 
Each Other — The Political Parties of Canada. 

Ottawa, three hours by rail from Montreal, is the 
capital of the Dominion. Like Washington, in the 
United States, the city is entirely consecrated to poli- 
tics, and you must not look for anything else in it. 
However, when you arrive in Ottawa, do not fail to 
halt a little on the bridge over the river, for you will 
see a picture worthy of your attention ; to right of you 
the falls and rapids ; to left, high against the sky, and 
standing on an almost perpendicular rock, the Houses 
of Parliament, a group of superb buildings in stone. It 
was my good fortune to see it, for the first time, stand- 
ing out clearly between a brilliant blue sky and a sweep 
of pure white snow. Inside, the Houses of Parliament 
are spacious and well appointed : the members are in 
clover. The library is a very valuable one, and the dis- 
position of the rooms has been admirably thought out 
and carried out. 

As you advance toward the west, in Canada, the 
towns begin to look more American and the people 
more English ; the web of telegraph and telephone 
wires overhead grows thicker ; the complexion of the 
women grows more rosy, and, instead of picturesque 
winding streets, you once more have the parallelograms 
and rectangular blocks of masonry that came in with 
tram-rails. 

29 



30 JOHN BULL & CO. 

Toronto, built in blocks, with wide streets and houses 
plastered with flaring advertisements, is very American- 
looking, But penetrate into the suburbs, and the scene 
changes : you are reminded of the presence of the Eng- 
lish, for most of the pretty villas are set in gardens, and 
a private garden is a thing rarely seen near American 
towns. There are no people who are fonder of flowers 
or more lavish in the use of them than the Americans, 
yet the growing of them seems to be entirely left to the 
professional gardener. I heard various reasons given 
in explanation of the absence of lawns and flower-beds 
around suburban houses. One was the extreme cold 
of the winters, another the extreme heat of the sum- 
mers, but I came to the conclusion that the chief reason 
was want of time. I do not know whether the villa 
gardens of Toronto are very gay with flowers in sum- 
mer. When I saw them they were thickly buried in 
snow ; but there were the trees and shrubs, and there, 
utterly un-American-looking, was the fence or the wall 
which reminds one that an Englishman's house is his 
castle. The American, having no garden, dispenses 
with a fence, and his house, though it may be a fine 
mansion, stands but a few feet back from the roadway, 
with its front door accessible, in truly republican fashion, 
to every passer-by. 

Toronto swarms with churches and pretty women. I 
never, in any town, saw quite so many of either. 

The Canadian lady is a happy combination of her Eng- 
lish and American sisters. She has the physical beauty, 
the tall, graceful figure, and the fine complexion of the 
former, allied to the decided bearing, the naturalness, 
the frank glance, and the piquancy of the latter. If, 



JOHN BULL & CO. 31 

added to these, one could have the shrewd common 
sense, and the irresistible charm of the Parisienne, the 
result would be a really ideal woman. The amount of 
outdoor exercise taken by Canadian women in their 
winter games and pastimes goes far to explain the 
beauty of their complexions. The air of Canada is dry, 
the houses are heated in the same way as American 
houses, yet these two things, often advanced as the 
cause of the American belles' pallor, do not prevent the 
Canadian women from having brilliant complexions. 

It was in Toronto that I was given an insight into 
the system of education adopted by the English Can- 
adians. It is practically the American system ; boys 
and girls, rich and poor, sit side by side on their school 
benches and receive the same instruction. Among the 
French Canadians, education, as I have already said, is 
in the hands of the priest, and the standard of instruc- 
tion is low. 

Besides the cities that I have mentioned, Canada pos- 
sesses many important towns, such as London, Hamil- 
ton, etc. One of the most interesting to visit is Winni- 
peg, in the northwest. To reach it you have to cross, 
in summer, a veritable ocean of plants and flowers ; in 
winter, an ocean of ice and snow. It is the prairie in 
its imrnensity, lonesome but grandiose. A population 
of thirty thousand people, energetic and intelligent, is 
chiefly engaged in the commerce of wood and cereals. 
The town is flourishing, has many fine buildings and a 
hotel, the Manitoba, which for comfort and luxury has 
no equal within a circuit of five hundred miles. Ten 
minutes from the town, across the river, stands the little 
village of St. Boniface, founded by the French long be- 



32 JOHN BULL & CO. 

fore Winnipeg was thought of, and which has remained 
just what it was. In Canada, you are constantly com- 
ing across old France standing still, while bustling Eng- 
land advances, spreads, and multiplies. If you set out 
from Quebec, and follow the course of the St. Lawrence 
as far as the Mississippi at New Orleans, you can do 
two thousand miles without going off the line followed 
by the early French settlers. The names along the 
route will sufficiently indicate the origin of the towns : 
Quebec, Montreal, St. Paul, Detroit, Des Moines, St. 
Louis, New Orleans. 

It seems to me that Canada, on account of its inter- 
ests and its geographical position, is destined one day 
to become part of the great American family. But if 
ever the amalgamation should take place, it will be with- 
out the firing of a shot or the spilling of a drop of blood. 

At present, the number of Canadians in favor of unit- 
ing their country to the States is only about one-fourth 
of the population. Although there are but two politi- 
cal parties, the Liberals and the Conservatives, wherever 
the annexation question is discussed there appear to be 
four camps : people in favor of annexation ; a party, 
largely composed of the best society, preferring the 
present state of things ; another, which advocates feder- 
ation ; and a fourth, which would like to see Canada an 
independent nation. To the last-named party belong 
most of the French Canadians. They naturally detest 
the idea of federation, because it would mean to them 
political annihilation, and as these people form a large 
and rapidly increasing portion of the population, I 
imagine that the scheme of federation is little likely 
ever to be adopted by Canada. 



CHAPTER IV. 

Flying through the Far West — The Prairies — Colorado — Den- 
ver — The Rockies — Salt Lake City — The Mormons — The 
Desert — The Sierras — The Plains of California — San Fran- 
cisco — China Town — Impressions Confirmed — A Branch of 
the Firm John Bull & Co. Started in Business for Itself. 

The journey from Winnipeg to St. Paul in winter is 
done on an unbroken plain of ice and snow. To go in- 
to raptures over a landscape such as this, one must be 
born in the States. An American would say, " Yes, sir, 
everything in this country is on an immense scale." 
St. Paul and its neighbor, Minneapolis, are towns of 
two hundred and fifty thousand inhabitants each, situ- 
ated at a distance of only ten miles from each other. 
Jealousy alone gives a separate existence to these two 
towns, which ought to form but one. If St. Paul elected 
to become part of Minneapolis, Minneapolis would have 
no objection ; if Minneapolis decided to merge its indi- 
viduality in that of St. Paul, St. Paul would think it 
quite natural. As to any union by common consent, as 
well ask Manchester and Liverpool to abide by the de- 
cisions of one and the same town council. 

Twenty-four hours of railway traveling across a flat 
country takes you from St. Paul to Omaha, a town of 
more than a hundred thousand inhabitants. Fifteen 
hours more and you are at Kansas City. Still the mo- 
notonous flatness. However, the country, which is 
entirely consecrated to agriculture and the raising of 

33 



34 JOHN BULL & CO. 

cattle, is prosperous and not without a certain interest. 
One day more and you are in Colorado, and nearing 
Denver. After the dreary monotony of the prairies, 
the first glimpse of the grand peaks of the Rockies, 
standing up soft and blue against the western sky, 
where a gorgeous sun was setting, was a thing to be 
remembered. Denver, twenty years ago a mining camp, 
to-day a flourishing, well-built town of one hundred and 
fifty thousand inhabitants. Such is America. Omaha, 
Kansas City, Denver, are so many budding Chicagos. 

But time is flying. " All aboard ! " 

A few hours after leaving Denver you enter the 
Rocky Mountains by a narrow passage which winds be- 
tween colossal rocks rising straight into the air. The 
chain of mountains unfolds itself hour by hour to your 
astonished eyes as the train rushes on with infinite 
twistings among the giant hills. The panorama is en- 
chanting. Then the train begins to climb, twisting and 
recoiling on itself like a caterpillar, till its extremities 
almost touch and form a circle. You reach a height of 
ten thousand feet above sea level, and the train steams 
into Leadville, "the cloud city." (Every American 
town is a city in American parlance.) Leadville was at 
one time a busy place with a large population, but the 
lead mines failed to yield as they had been expected to 
do, and the town is now a forlorn-looking one, lost in 
the clouds, and with " Ichabod " writ large all over it. 
Then you descend toward the fertile valley of the Salt 
Lake in Utah. The Mormons have been described ad 
nauseam, and there is nothing new to be looked for in 
their midst ; they are ancient history. By a new law of 
the United States, polygamy is no longer tolerated, and 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



35 



if Artemus Ward were now alive, and about to give 
one of his delightfully humorous talks there, he could 
no longer put on the complimentary ticket given to 
some Mormon to whom he wished to show a politeness, 
" Admit bearer 
and one wife." 
In Salt Lake 
City you are 
struck by the 
cleanliness, the 
quietness, and 
the general air 
of prosperity of 
the place. The 
Mormons are 
meek-voiced 
and mild-man- 
nered, as one 
would expect in 
the descendants 
of an oppressed 
sect. Attend- 
ants are polite 
and altogether 
a great contrast 
to the same class 
o f persons o n 
the other side of 
the Rockies. The Mormons continue to believe and 
call themselves Saints. This is a harmless mania that 
hurts nobody. 

Before eettins; into California there remains but the 




TEMPLE SQUARE, SALT LAKE CTrY. 



36 JOHN BULL & CO. 

State of Nevada to cross, a sandy, arid land, which forms 
a curious contrast with the fertile Salt Lake valley and 
the luxuriant plains of California between which it lies. 
Some Indians, majestically draped in blankets and with 
feathers in their hair, a few cowboys with sombreros 
stuck on the back of the head give a touch of the pic- 
turesque to this scene of desolation, a scene almost 
grandiose in its dreariness. After the sandy desert is 
traversed, the ground begins to rise once more, nature 
shows signs of life again, and presently you are in the 
Sierras, which to my thinking are still more picturesque 
and much grander than the Rockies. The Rocky 
Mountains are certainly mountainous and undeniably 
rocky, but the landscape has not the majesty of the 
Sierras. The Rocky Mountains are wild and arid ; the 
Sierras are luxuriant with verdure. You are nearing 
the home of perpetual spring. All is gay and smiling : 
the blue sky, the slopes of the mountains clothed with 
gigantic trees, the valleys carpeted with ferns and semi- 
tropical plants. I have seen no other country so en- 
chanting. 

After being so long used to looking on nothing but 
an expanse of snow or a brown desert, the eyes are 
fairly dazzled by all this verdure. From the Sierras 
you descend into the plains of California, the train 
rushing through this vast garden of magnolias, orange 
and lemon trees, cacti and rich plants of all kinds, 
and all the way to San Francisco- the feast for the 
eyes is one of unparalleled loveliness. You are in El 
Dorado. 

I confess that San Francisco itself disappointed me. 
I scarcely know why, but I had an idea that this town 



JOHN BULL & CO. 37 

must be quite different from the other large towns of 
America. Its name had suggested to my mind a place 
half Spanish, half Mexican, with an individuality of its 
own. In reality it is but another New York, Chicago, 
or Cincinnati. Market street, the chief street, differs 
little from Broadway, New York, Washington street, 
Boston, or State street, Chicago. Everywhere the same 
square blocks, the eternal parallelograms, the same 
gaudy advertisements, the same flaring posters. In 
the quarter where the rich people have taken up their 
abode the houses are handsome, but have not the gar- 
dens one would expect to see around them. The park 
is beautiful, and very remarkable as being the result of 
a clever victory over the mass of fine sand that lay be- 
tween San Francisco and the sea. This sand, which 
half blinded the city every time the wind blew in from 
the ocean, is now bound into a fair lawn by buffalo 
grass, and is planted over with California's lovely trees 
and flowers. Near by, that is to say at three-quarters 
of an hour's drive from the town, are the Seal Rocks, 
covered with the creatures that give them their name, 
and a visit to them also means a sight of the grand ex- 
panse of the Pacific ocean washing in on an apparently 
endless beach of smooth yellow sand. 

But to see a really fine typical Californian town you 
must go south, to Los Angeles for instance, which town 
is a veritable poem. 

I had heard a great deal about China Town and had 
been advised not to leave San Francisco without visit- 
ing this Chinese quarter. I expected to find a bit of 
the Orient in this great western city, but what I did see 
was a slum, a rubbish heap, fit to turn one sick, a dis- 



38 JOHN BULL & CO. 

grace to a town which, after all, must be directed 
and governed by respectable people. Thirty or forty 
thousand Chinese swarm in an atmosphere heavy with 
rancid grease, tobacco, musk, sandal-wood, and in the 
midst of gambling hells, opium dens, houses of ill fame, 
the blinds of which are not even lowered, a vile crowd 
living by the most shameless vice in most ignoble dirt, 
and this not in some outlying suburb where it might be 
convenient to fling the rubbish of the community, but 
in the very centre of the city. 

Heaven be praised, I soon forgot the amazing hor- 
rors of the place, but the odor of it long hung about 
my clothing. 

For the third time I had visited the United States, 
and had now seen them from north to south, from east 
to west. Now I was going to see still newer worlds, 
Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa, the Amer- 
icas of the future. 

The impressions formed during the two previous voy- 
ages seemed to have taken deeper root, and I felt the 
greater number of them to be confirmed. A country 
especially interesting from the feverish activity which, 
in a century, has developed it, and made of it a shining 
light to the rest of the world in the matter of practical 
ideas ; a people straining every nerve in the race for 
dollars, suffering from bile and billions, and who have 
learned most things except the art of good self-govern- 
ment ; unique women, the most intellectual and interest- 
ing in the world, whom I can admire all the more 
because I have not the honor to be the husband of one 
of them, and therefore have not to pay her dressmakers' 



JOHN BULL & CO. ^ 39 

bills, nor work by the sweat of my brow to cover her 
with diamonds. 

I had intended in this volume only to speak of the 
English Colonies. However, I do not think that these 
few remarks on the United States are out of place here. 
Was not America once one of the great branch estab- 
lishments of the firm, John Bull & Co., although she 
may have since set up in business for herself ? And is 
not this the future that is before several other of those 
branches? 



CHAPTER V. 

The Pacific Ocean — The Sandwich Islands — Honolulu — The 
Southern Cross — What a Swindle I — The Samoan Islands — 
Apia — Mr. Robert Louis Stevenson — Auckland — Arrival of 
the Philistines. 

The voyage from San Francisco to Auckland in New 
Zealand takes just three weeks, and, with the exception 
of the first two days, which are rendered often disagree- 
able by a shallow sea easily stirred up, the passage is 
generally delightful. During nineteen days we found 
the Pacific Ocean as calm as a lake. 

The Monoivai is a most comfortable steamer of about 
3,500 tons, commanded by one of the most charming 
captains it has been my good fortune to meet with in 
my travels. Watching tenderly over his " boarders," 
always on the outlook for anything which may add to 
their comfort or contribute to the pleasure of the trip. 
Captain Carey ought to be surnamed the father of his 
passengers. 

The voyage is far from being uninteresting, for, apart 
from the pleasure of gliding over a smooth sea, the long 
and regular swell of which gently rocks one, of watch- 
ing sunsets of surpassing beauty, or of passing evenings 
under a firmament literally ablaze with stars, one lands 
at two veritable earthly paradises — Honolulu, the cap- 
ital of the Sandwich Islands, and Apia, the chief town 
of the island of Samoa. 

Honolulu is eight days from San Francisco. The 

40 



JOHN BULL & CO. 4I 

boat stopped seven hours, which gave us time to see the 
town of Honolulu, and to drive to the Pali, a small 
mountain, from the summit of which an enchanting view 
of the whole island is to be had. 

Honolulu is a rather Californian town, that reminds 
one of Los Angeles. A high state of civilization has 
been reached : you would look in vain among the Sand- 
wichers for a woman wearing a smile and nothing more. 
The type is a pleasing one : soft, almond-shaped eyes 
set in an amiable, smiling face meet you at every turn, 
and there they live, these suave-looking people, far away 
in the Pacific Ocean, in the midst of sunshine and per- 
fume, in an ideal climate, with a temperature varying 
from sixty-five to eighty-two degrees from the first of Jan- 
uary to the thirty-first of December. Their land is ra- 
diant with a thousand flowering shrubs, and stately with 
palms, cocoanut palms, date palms, and the well-named 
royal palm that raises its tall, straight trunk like a silver 
mast high into the air, bearing a drooping crown of 
graceful leaves at the top. 

Graceful, too, are the young women of the people, 
with their loose, white dress, hanging straight from the 
neck, unconfined by belt or band, a garment following 
to a great extent the lines of the Watteau gown. And 
their charming gait ! with what noncJialant ease they 
carry themselves ! the supple body balanced with dignity 
befitting a state procession. 

With time at one's disposal, what an agreeable fort- 
night one could spend at Honolulu, in the most delicious 
far ttiente, admiring the people, listening to the birds, 
breathing the perfume of the flowers, swinging in a ham- 
mock suspended from two picturesque palms ! 



42 JOHN BULL & CO. 

But there is the steamer's whistle sounding, and we 
must go on board. It is with the deepest regret that 
we leave this little earthly paradise, lit up as it is at our 
departure by a sunset sky ablaze with gold, emeralds, 
rubies and topazes. In ten minutes the scene has com- 
pletely changed. The glory has faded, and all is rapidly 
being steeped in profound darkness, for, in the region of 
the tropics, there is scarcely any twilight. And now we 
have once more left the land behind, and again become 
a tiny black spot cast on the immensity of the ocean. 

Nine days' good steaming, and we ought to reach the 
Samoan Islands ; but in the interval we pass the equa- 
tor (an important event), and we are to make acquaint- 
ance with the Southern Cross, the famous constellation 
we have heard so much about, and of which the Aus- 
tralians are so proud that they have transferred it to 
their national coat of arms — a magnificent cross, they 
say, that illuminates the southern hemisphere. At last, 
then, we were going to see it for ourselves — this South- 
ern Cross. We counted the days, and every evening, 
on turning in, we said to each other, " Three days more ; 
two days more," and, at last, " It is to-morrow that we 
are to behold this marvel." I really believe that we 
lay awake that night thinking of it. Truth to tell, an 
Englishman on board, who had been round the world 
several times, had said to me, " The Southern Cross ? 
Yes, it is not bad." But there are Englishmen whom 
nothing can move to enthusiasm, and who will exclaim, 
in front of Vesuvius in eruption, " Yes", it isn't bad," 
as if they were looking at the belching chimneys of 
Birmingham. I had been led to expect a grand sight, 
and a grand sight I expected. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 43 

On the iith of April, 1892 (such dates are epochs in 
one's hfe), the captain said to us at breakfast, " This 
evening at six o'clock the Southern Cross will be visi- 
ble." The day promised to be a superb one. 

Ah, with what impatience we awaited the evening ! 
At last the sun descended to the horizon, and in a few 
minutes there was a perfectly clear firmament overhead. 
First, I went aft, to once more look on the Great Bear, 
and then rejoined the other passengers, who had taken 
up a post of observation on the bridge. I could see 
nothing remarkable. I strained my eyes almost out of 
their sockets. Still nothing. 

Up came the captain, 

" And this Southern Cross," I exclaimed," where is it ? " 

" Why, there it is," replied the captain, stretching 
out his hand toward the horizon. 

" But where ? " 

" Why, bless me, don't you see it ? Look there — 
where I am pointing. There is one star, that is the foot 
of the cross ; there is another, that forms the head ; 
then there are a third and fourth, forming the arms." 
And then, pointing them out successively, he r^^peated, 
" One, two, three, four." 

Now, really, a fakir who had just heard that he would 
never see Vishnu, could scarcely pull such a long 
face as we did when we found out how hugely we had 
been taken in. 

Picture to yourself a cross (for a cross we must admit 
it to be) of the meagerest dimensions, formed by four 
stars, which are not of equal magnitude, and of which 
the fourth, the one that forms the right arm, is not even 
placed symmetrically ! 



44 JOHN BULL & CO. 

The Southern Cross must have been discovered and 
named by some patriotic zealot, who beheved that he 
saw in this cross a sign that John Bull, the Christian /<7:r 
excellence, was destined to acquire and convert the Aus- 
tral hemisphere. 

Of all the geese that pass for swans in the Colonies, 
the Southern Cross is the biggest. 

I went to bed that night feeling very " sold," and, 
throughout the eighteen months that I spent in the Col- 
onies, I never could see the Southern Cross without 
shaking my fist at it. Was ever anyone so taken in ? 

A few days later Samoa was to make up to us for the 
disappointment we had just suffered. We were to see 
real savages, and a bay which is often compared to the 
Bay of Naples. 

On April 17th, at six o'clock in the morning, we en- 
tered the Bay of Apia. 

We dressed with all speed, and went on deck. The 
Samoans had anticipated us. The steamer was besieged 
by the natives, who had come out from the shore in their 
boats. Everywhere around, their merchandise was 
spread out — oranges, bananas, fans, sticks, mats, clubs, 
and all kinds of curiosities of the country. 

The Samoans do not at all resemble their neighbors. 
It is not the Papuan type met with in the Fiji Islands, 
or in New Guinea; it is the type that we saw in Hono- 
lulu (which we shall meet with again in the Maoris of 
New Zealand), only rather darker. The costume is 
lighter and more primitive, for it consists of a kind of 
long folded towel tied about the loins. The Hawaiians, 
the Samoans and the Maoris belong to the Indo-Eu- 
ropean race. Many of the Samoans bear more resem- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 45 

blance to sunburnt Italians than to the natives of Aus- 
traha, or even the different types of negroes that one 
finds in Africa. The face is intelHgent, the eyes are 
clear and soft, the forehead high, the nose rather large, 
and the body superb. The skin is of a pinkish copper 
shade, very picturesque in the brilliant sunshine. The 
walk of these people is full of grace and majesty ; here 
are hawkers of oranges and bananas, looking like un- 
dressed princes; imposing and picturesque figures, with 
their curly hair roughed up all over the head, the strong- 
knit body thrown back, and the line of the spine hol- 
lowed out. They roam about the deck with the air of 
exiled kings smoking their cigar on the Boulevard des 
Italiens ! Nature would appear to have made them all 
gentlemen. The hair of the Samoans, which is dark in 
childhood, is daubed with some preparation of lime, 
with the result that when a boy is about eighteen his 
head is often a comic sight, the bulk of the hair being 
of a Titian red and the ends of a fine canary color. It 
is as if a red-wool mop had been trying to get itself up 
to resemble a gold-colored wig. 

A boat landed us on the island in a few minutes, 
when we were once in it ; but at the foot of the ladder 
was a clamoring crowd of would-be ferrymen, difficult 
to deal with, and it was a shock to find that those sweet- 
looking creatures could use words — English, or, rather, 
Anglo-Saxon ones — that made one's hair stand on end. 
We were careful not to pay the boatman on debarking, 
but only to promise him his money when we returned. 
This is a useful precaution to take, otherwise he exacts 
a fabulous sum for taking you on board. The canny 
individual knows that you must get back to the boat at 



46 JOHN BULL & CO. 

any price, and if you are not on your guard he takes 
advantage of you. It is easy to see that these people 
are being rapidly civilized. 

We breakfasted at a little hotel looking on the bay, 
and there we had the pleasure of making the acquaint- 
ance of Mr. Robert Louis Stevenson, the famous nov- 
elist, some of whose works will rank among the English 
classics. Mr, Stevenson has very delicate health ; the 
line climate of Samoa tempted him to settle there, and 
for several years he has been living in the hills above 
Apia, with his family. We found him full of activity, 
happy, singing the praises of Samoa and the Samoans, 
and in a state of health which allows him to continue 
the production of those chefs-d'ceiivre that are eagerly 
devoured in England. TJie Master of Ballantrae is a 
book which will live as long as the Tom Jones of 
Fielding. 

After breakfast, which consisted not of a slice of cold 
missionary a la moutarde, but of fresh eggs and good 
beefsteak, we went on the veranda to smoke and talk, 
with the magnificent coup-d'o2il of the blue bay spread 
out in front of us, and then we left to stroll about the 
town. 

It was Easter Sunday, and we wended our way to the 
cathedral. All along the road we met the natives, who 
smiled at us and made signs of friendliness. " Wel- 
come," said some as they passed ; " My love to you," 
said others. What gentle, pretty savages ! And how 
nice the women looked in their loose sacques, like those 
we saw in Honolulu, their hair tidily bound up, and 
their rounded figures carried erect ! Two or three had 
adopted European dress, but the effect was very ludi- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



47 



crous. Mrs. Stevenson had told us that it was the 
ambition of the native women, as soon as they could 
afford it, to dress in European fashion, but I imagine 
that since they have seen that lady in the richly embroi- 
dered silk gown, made in the native fashion, which she 
was wearing when she spoke to us, they feel much less 
inclined to spend their substance on corsets. The chil- 




NATIVE HOUSE, SAMOA. 

dren, the little boys especially, made us exclaim in ad- 
miration. The ladies wanted to kiss them all. 

We arrived at the cathedral, a very primitive stone 
structure, just in time to see the procession enter, and 
it was a curious sight, that little bit of Rome lost in the 
Pacific ! The bishop officiated ; there were the acolytes 
in scarlet and lace-trimmed linen, the candles, the in- 
cense — nothing was wanting, and the scene was most 



48 JOHN BULL & CO. 

impressive. The edifice was crowded with natives in 
their most gorgeous-colored raiment, and all with faces 
full of awe and respect. Some knelt, the greater num- 
ber crouched, but all the faces had a religious gravity 
imprinted on them. 

We went on our way. A few yards further and we 
came upon an English missionary singing hymns under 
a shed. Half a dozen Samoans were joining in, with 
their cracked, nasal-sounding voices. I do not doubt that 
the good missionary does his best, and that the Society 
for the Promulgation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts be- 
lieves that he is making converts by the thousand. The 
contrast appeared to me as ridiculous as one which so 
vexes, yet amuses, any artistic visitor to Rouen, where, 
almost under the shadow of the cathedral, a masterpiece 
of stone carving, stands a little square shanty in brick, 
with the inscription, Wcsleyan Church. How many 
Englishmen with a little artistic feeling, have told me 
the pleasure it would give them to kick it over and 
hide it under the earth ! 

At noon the heat was intense, and we were glad to 
get back to the Monozvai for refreshment and the 
shade of the awning. At lunch time, the Samoans were 
ordered to pack up their goods and quit the ship. 

When the crowd was dispersing, we threw them 
money from the deck for the fun of seeing them dive 
to the bottom of the bay and pick up the coins, not one 
of which they missed. The Samoans can swim before 
they can walk, I believe, and the water of the bay is as 
clear and limpid as the purest spring water. 

Then we watched the swarm of boats steer for the 
shore and a number of the young Samoans swim back 



JOHN BULL & CO. 49 

to Apia. We said good-bye to this sweet land with its 
purple hills, the luxuriant tropical verdure which we 
were to see no more of for a long time, to the graceful, 
majestic palms, and, above all, to those amiable, happy 
people who live on bananas and oranges and cocoanuts, 
and whose eternal smile seems to thank the Creator for 
having sent them into a beautiful world. 

Nine days more at sea. In five we shall have arrived 
at Auckland, in the north of New Zealand ; four days 
later we shall be in Sydney. 

On the Friday in Easter week we were in Auckland, 
a town of sixty thousand inhabitants, very thriving 
looking, and with an exquisitely clean appearance. 
Situated in the curve of a gulf, and built on several 
hills, this town, whose importance grows by enchant- 
ment, is destined to become, one day, one of the largest 
commercial centres of the world. The editor of the 
New Zealand Herald, a most important New Zealand 
newspaper, had been kind enough to come to meet us 
at the quay. We went with him in a carriage to the 
top of Mount Eden, an extinct volcano, and once there 
we were able to feast our eyes upon a glorious panor- 
ama of green pastures, beautifully kept gardens, coquet- 
tish villas, a superb harbor, and the ocean to right and 
left. Only two or three miles separate East from West 
Auckland, and to reach the town from the south, by 
sea, you may follow the coast on the one side or the 
other ; but to go from East Auckland to West Auck- 
land by sea would take several days, whether you went 
round the northern or the southern part of the island. 

But we shall come back to New Zealand and shall 
revisit Auckland. 



50 JOHN BULL & CO. 

At six o'clock in the evening we rejoined the Mono- 
wai, which was soon to land us at our destination. 
But alas ! our delightful days were finished. From San 
Francisco to Auckland we had been thirty-two passen- 
gers in first class. We had all made acquaintance with 
one another, and we formed a happy and united band. 
On returning on board we found the boat invaded by 
about sixty intruders, who had come to join us and get 
carried to Sydney. Up to this we had, most of us, had 
separate cabins ; now, each was obliged to share it with 
a stranger. We cast appealing looks at the captain ; 
we would fain have asked his permission to throw all 
those people overboard, and we one and all made a 
resolution not to address a word to the new-comers, 
but to " boycott " and keep them at a distance — as re- 
spectful as the width of the cabins would allow. 

And now, no more Pacific Ocean : the sea between 
Australia and New Zealand is generally very disagree- 
able. A bad sea and a crowded boat, there remained 
nothing now but the hope of shortly reaching Sydney 
to keep us in good humor. 

On the Tuesday following, at four in the afternoon, 
we caught sight of the Australian coast. At five we 
were steaming in at the narrow and imposing passage 
between great steep cliffs, which forms the entrance to 
Sydney harbor. 



CHAPTER VL 

Sydney — I Have Seen the Harbor — The Australia Hotel — The 
French in Sydney — The Town — The Parks— Cupid in the 
Open Air — Little Clandestine Visits to the South Head — 
' ' Engaged " — Melbourne — Activity — All Scottish — The 
Holy Tartufes — Adelaide — Brisbane— Ballarat — Bendigo— 
Geelong. 

The two finest harbors in the world are those of Rio 
de Janeiro and of Sydney : but the hght is generally 
defective in Rio, and the misty atmosphere hinders one 
from seeing all the details of the landscape at one time. 
In Sydney, the air is so clear that no detail escapes 
one ; everything is sharply outlined ; the harbor, with 
its two hundred miles of indented coast, is stretched 
out before the eyes of the spectator in infinite meander- 
ings, presenting a new surprise at each turn. It is a 
succession of transformation scenes. This harbor is in- 
contestably one of the most imposing-looking of nature's 
marvels. The narrow entrance between two bold head- 
lands is about half an hour's steaming from the city, 
which seems reposing on the water in the far end of 
an immense broken-coasted lake. From the bridge 
of the Monowai we are shown by Captain Carey the 
cul de sac where the unfortunate Dunbar was wrecked 
with her great cargo of human souls. The entrance of 
this trap bears a great resemblance to Sydney Heads, 
and the commander of the Dunbar, further mystified 
by a thick, dirty night, mistook the one for the other, 

51 



52 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



and steered the unhappy people to their doom. But 
now we are steaming cautiously between the great sheer 
cliffs that form the real entrance to Sydney harbor, and 
in a few moments there bursts upon our delighted eyes 
a glorious panorama. We are in raptures and we do 
not miss a bit of it. It is not only the details that 
charm, it is the ensemble. The eye is carried constantly 




NORTH HEAD, SYDNEY. 

from each separate part to the whole. Each little bay 
and cove is lovely, and charms the sight, but the whole, 
the immense, grandiose whole, absorbs one. 

Here it is a rugged hill with trees that .seem to have 
their roots in the water ; there it is an inviting-looking 
beach ; further on it is a noble hill, its sides dotted over 
with dainty dwellings, pretty houses, each set in a gar- 
den, where the picturesque sub-tropical vegetation, the 



JOHN BULL & CO. 53 

magnolia, the tree ferns, the cactus and a hundred 
other such plants are mingled with the loveliest flowers 
of Europe. 

After four weeks of solitude on the ocean, here we 
are in the midst of life again. Ferry-boats are crossing 
one another in all directions, plying between the city 
and the various suburbs. There are numbers of liners 
at anchor. We pass the Australian fleet. Finally, after 
half an hour, which passes like a dream, we are along- 
side the wharf at the foot of the town. We shake hands 
with Captain Carey and our fellow-passengers, throw a 
last glance of contempt at the Auckland intruders, and 
go on shore. 

My impresario and his son and some dear friends 
had come to meet us. They did not say, " What kind 
of passage have you had ? " or " How are you ? " Noth- 
ing of the kind ; it was, " What do you think of the 
harbor ? " Some journalists, too, have come to wel- 
come us. They crowd around, crying in chorus, " Well, 
and what do you think of the harbor?" It is evident 
that this harbor business is going to be terribly over- 
done. "Your harbor is a beauty, no one denies that," 
I feel inclined to exclaim ; " but, after all, you did not 
make it." 

I hope I am not going to be pursued and overpowered 
with the Sydney harbor, for I want to be able to keep 
it as one of my finest souvenirs of travel. It is with 
certain fine bits of scenery as it is with the tunes of // 
Trovatorc ; by dint of hearing too much of them, one 
ends by cordially hating them. An idea ! I will get 
a card printed and wear it through Sydney streets ; 
"Your harbor is the finest in the world." 



54 JOHN BULL & CO. 

The luggage examined, we speed away to the Aus- 
traha Hotel, which we reach in a few minutes. Another 
agreeable surprise. The Australia Hotel, where a suite 
of pretty rooms has been engaged for us, is a revelation. 
Neither Europe nor America has anything more com- 
fortable and luxurious to show. The rooms are ele- 
gantly furnished, the table excellent, the wines first-class, 
the manager most obliging, the service admirable. We 
are going to be in clover. The Australia is a happy 
combination of the best features of European and Amer- 
ican hotels. Sydney has as much right to be proud of 
this hotel as of her harbor : and she made it ! 

Next morning, by the kind invitation of Lord and 
Lady Jersey, we lunch at Government House, and in 
the evening we are dined, or rather banqueted, by the 
Cosmopolitan Club. Sydney society hastens to welcome 
us, and invitations to dinners, dances, lunches, picnics, 
pour in from all sides. The Mayor and his charming 
wife invite us to go and hear the organ in the Town Hall ; 
in a word, the Australians seem determined to show us 
that they deserve their reputation for being the most 
hospitable people in the world. 

The banquet at the Cosmopolitan Club was presided 
over by the Mayor and followed by an improvised con- 
cert, at which we heard some high-class musicians, all, 
or almost all, of them French : M. Henri Kowalski, a 
pianist, known far beyond the Australian continent ; M. 
Poussard, the violinist ; M. Deslouis, the fine baritone ; 
Madame Charbonnet, the distinguished pianist. Music 
is in good hands in Sydney, for it is in the hands of 
French artists. The next day I met at the Town Hall 
Monseigneur Moran, Cardinal Archbishop of Sydney, 



JOHN BULL & CO. 55 

Monseigneur Carr, Archbishop of Melbourne, and several 
other prelates. The building is magnificent, the main 
hall a superb one. There, again, I was proud to learn 
that the beautiful window had been designed by a com- 
patriot of mine, M. Lucien Henri, who has adapted the 
thousand strange and beautiful forms of Australian Jlora 
awi famia to architectural purposes. With M. Henri 
this has been a labor of love which has absorbed his 
brain for years, and I was glad to learn that the New 
South Wales Government had pledged itself to take two 
hundred copies of the truly great work he has prepared 
on the subject. 

As for the organ, everyone knows it is the most com- 
plete that exists. The organist, M. Wiegand, a Belgian, 
almost a Frenchman, executed several pieces, which 
showed to advantage the player and the instrument. 

Sydney is a town of about four hundred thousand 
inhabitants, well built, possessing several fine buildings, 
among which may be named the Post Ofifice, the Town 
Hall and the Parliament Houses; it has pretty theatres, 
parks and public gardens. If the town were built like 
an amphitheatre around the bay it might be classed 
among the loveliest in the world ; but the harbor is only 
seen in the elegant suburbs of Darling Point, Pott's 
Point, Elizabeth Bay, Rose Bay, etc. The city proper 
is built pretty much on the flat in the hollow of the gulf, 
and bears a striking resemblance to some of the towns 
of Lancashire and Yorkshire, such as Manchester, Leeds 
or Bradford. But if the town strikes you as merely one 
more gigantic monument erected to British activity — 
just think a moment, a town of four hundred thousand 
inhabitants, where sixty years ago there were but a few 



56 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



convicts — the suburbs, built upon the points that jut out 
into the harbor, arrest your admiration by their surpris- 
ing beauty. Many of the houses here are perfect httle 
palaces, among others, the one which was inhabited 
when I was in Sydney by Lady Martin, widow of the 
great Australian jurisconsult. The view from the house 
and grounds was fairy-like in its beauty, and wherever 



^ 



•-'w-:^.-i;jj.-K 




VIEW OF SYDNEY FROM LAVENDER BAY. 



one turned in the suburbs of Sydney fresh beauties of 
scene met the eye. 

In the Museum, a great shanty in brick which disfig- 
ures the park, is to be found a collection of pictures 
signed by some of the greatest masters ; but the thing 
which struck me as most noteworthy was a collection 
of water-colors, of which the director, Mr. Montefiore, 
himself an artist of talent, has a right to be proud. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 57 

In spite of the lovely climate which Sydney enjoys, 
the parks are not frequented by society. You look in 
vain for cafes or any attraction of that kind. They are 
simply great fields, rather well kept, where, as in London 
parks, meet together the street orators, the socialists, the 
anarchists and the unemployed. This by day. As night 
comes on, their place is taken by lovers who come to 
" coo " to one another on the benches or loll about on 
the grass. But if the parks have no attraction for us, 
the Botanical Garden more than makes amends. How 
lovely it is ! Situated in a bend of the harbor and gently 
sloping to the water's edge, planted with the rarest trees 
and flowers, ornamented with pretty statues, I know 
nothing of the kind that can compare with it. In spite 
of all this, one does not see many people about the gar- 
dens, and when I went there for my favorite walk, I 
could carry on my meditations perfectly undisturbed. 
A couple of lovers on a bench, laced in each other's 
arms and gazing in each other's eyes without uttering a 
word, a poor wretch lying on another bench, trying to 
forget in slumber a night passed in the open air, and a 
morning perhaps breakfastless, a few loiterers in the 
walks ; but no pretty toilettes, nothing to denote the ex- 
istence of a rich and elegant town a hundred yards ofT, 

Australia, like England, is the country of out-of-door 
love-making. Everyone to his taste. A deputation of 
scandalized people one day presented themselves before 
one of the cabinet ministers to beg that he would have 
the park gates closed at sundown. 

" I shall do nothing of the kind," he answered. 
" Leave those poor things alone. If you feel shocked, 
avoid the parks at night or stay in your own houses," 



58 JOHN BULL & CO. 

For that matter this is the tacit reply which the Lon- 
don poHce makes to the reiterated complaints made by 
the public on the subject of the things that take place 
and are tolerated in the parks of the capital of the 
" moral country " par excellence. 

The Sydney parks, frequented by the lower classes, 
are not the only spots consecrated to Venus. The bet- 
ter-class, if not better-motived couples, quit the town 
and push on to the South Head, which forms-one of the 
majestic pillars of the harbor entrance. It is a sight to 
see the procession of cabs with drawn blinds gently 
trotting to Bondi, to Coogee, to South Head, and all 
those mysterious Cytheras. Arrived at their destination 
the couples leave the cabs, the lady closely veiled and 
walking with the modest bearing of a Sunday-school 
teacher, and wander away in the scrub, the thick, dis- 
creet scrub that abounds all around. These couples, to 
judge by their appearance, belong to the superior classes. 

Take a walk with a lady in these parts and no one 
will take any notice of you. You will be regarded with 
a look which seems to say, "You know what we are up 
to ; we know what you have come for ; do not let us 
interfere with one another." But do not venture there 
alone, as I once did, drawn by a curiosity to verify the 
hundred-and-one stories that had been whispered to me, 
for you will be received like a dog in a skittle alley, and 
at every turn you will be repulsed with " Engaged I " 

These sentimental promenades generally take place 
in the morning between ten and one, that is to say, at the 
time of day when papas and husbands are busy in the 
city. This shows plainly that the drawn cab-blinds do 
not screen young, affianced couples, to whom British 



JOHN BULL & CO. 59 

custom allows so much liberty that thanks to it they 
can conduct their love affairs in public without having 
to lower their eyes, much less the blinds of a cab. 

Impossible to speak of Sydney cabs without asking 
why this city does not possess a single cab holding more 
than two people. It is not everybody who wants to go 
to South Head, after all 1 If you happen to be three or 
four going to a ball or a theatre you must take two cabs ; 
if you have to go to the station with six trunks, you 
must take six cabs Sydney is probably the only im- 
portant town in the world that has no public carriages 
with four places. 

After a three weeks' sojourn in Sydney, I left with 
great regret the charming people who had given me 
such a hearty reception ; I left the Australia feeling 
pretty certain that I should not again find such ac- 
commodation in any hotel in the Colonies. On arriving 
at the station to take the train for Melbourne, we found 
the director of the line, the station master and several 
other important officials waiting to put us into a re- 
served carriage and to wish us a good journey. Friends 
had brought bouquets for the ladies, and when the train 
started we carried away with us a most delightful mem- 
ory of Sydney. 

The journey from Sydney to Melbourne takes eigh- 
teen hours and calls for no notice. Flat stretches of 
country everywhere, studded with the eternal gum-tree 
and nothing else. At five in the morning you must 
turn out of your sleeping car to change trains at Albury 
Station. You are on the frontier of the colony of Vic- 
toria, and the gauge is not the same as you have been 



6o JOHN BULL & CO. 

traveling on. Do not, on account of this, be led to be- 
lieve that you are about to penetrate into an enemy's 
country. There never has been any war between New 
South Wales and Victoria, but simply a mean jealousy 
which shows itself in all kinds of reprisals. The New 
South Wales man says to the Victorian, " To come into 
my country you shall be made to turn out of your berth 
at five o'clock in the morning." " I don't mind," re- 
plies the Victorian ; " to come my way you will have 
to do the same. We are quits ! " All the policy of these 
two countries may be summed up in the two phrases. 

The express train arrives at Melbourne at a quarter- 
past eleven in the morning, in a station which would 
disgrace an European town of fifteen thousand inhab- 
itants. The reason, do you ask ? Simply this, that 
absurd sums have had to be spent to satisfy the jealous 
rivalries of the small towns and give them finely built 
stations, some of them ridiculously important looking, 
and that there is no money left for the two metropoli- 
tan towns, which have plenty of business to look after 
and so do not torment the Government. 

There is no difBculty here in procuring cabs, which 
are not the hansoms of Sydney, but little chars-a-bancs 
for four persons, roofed with a tarpaulin cover like a 
grocer's cart, and provided with two steps, very high, 
very narrow, and placed one above the other, perpen- 
dicularly, which makes entrance difficult, and descent 
dangerous. 

The Grand Hotel, situated opposite the Houses of 
Parliament and public gardens, is comfortable, but after 
the Australia of Sydney, what a come-down ! The 
cuisine is not bad, but neither wine, beer, nor alcoholic 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



6l 



beverage is sold under the roof of the Grand. One has 
to order it in from a wine merchant's, at the risk of 
making oneself conspicuous in the eyes of all the water 
drinkers and tea tipplers. 

The city of Melbourne was founded in 1835, and its 
population has increased with marvelous strides. To- 
day Melbourne has more than five hundred thousand 




TOWN HALL AND SWANSTON STREET, MELBOURNE. 
[Frojn a Photograph by I.INDT, Melbour iie ?[ 

inhabitants ; the population of the entire colony being 
only eleven hundred thousand. Thus, the capital is as 
populous as the rest of the colony. In New South 
Wales, South Australia, Western Australia and Queens- 
land we find the same state of things. It is only in 
New Zealand and South Africa that we find the popu- 
lation spread over the land. 



62 JOHN BULL & CO. 

Melbourne cannot boast of any site that is worth vis- 
iting; but, as a Melbournian one day said to me, " Mel- 
bourne can afford to do without scenery." 

The city, with its activity, its broad, straight streets, 
its high buildings, its magnificent system of cable 
trams, is essentially American. In Collins street you 
can easily fancy yourself in New York or Chicago. If 
I were not always so faithful to my first loves I could 
almost prefer Melbourne to Sydney. Between the two 
it is hard to express a preference. 

In Melbourne I met with the same amiability, the 
same hospitality as at Sydney. I found there a choice 
and intelligent society, and a people perhaps more ac- 
tive than those of Sydney. For instance, the Alliance 
Frangaise, which kindly gave us a reception, has nearly 
five hundred members. The Austral Salon, to whom, 
also, I owe a charming afternoon, is composed of ladies 
and gentlemen, lovers of literature and art, who meet 
together to read and discuss literary masterpieces. Just 
as in America, one finds here intellectual life without 
pedantry. 

Mention must be made of a few public buildings 
which are imposing-looking: the Town Hall, the Post 
Of^ce, the Parliament Houses, the Treasury, the Banks 
and a Museum already rich in treasures. Government 
House, which is about half a mile from the town, is 
larger than that of Sydney, but neither so picturesque 
nor so well situated. The ballroorn is immense — 
quite as large as that of Buckingham Palace. The 
honors are done by the most popular of all the Colonial 
Governors, and his wife, the lovely Countess of Hope- 
toun. When I have said that Melbourne possesses 



JOHN BULL & CO. 63 

pretty public gardens and elegant suburbs, I shall have 
almost exhausted the notes that I took in that city. 

Here, as well as in the other Colonies, I cannot help 
being struck with the fact that the English Colonies are 
in the hands of the Scots. Out of seven Governors 
five are Scottish ; the President of the Legislative Coun- 
cil is a Scot, and so are three-fourths of the Council- 
ors ; the Mayor of Melbourne is of the same nation- 
ality, and the Agent-General in London is another 
Scotsman.^ England ought not to call her Colonies 
Greater Britain, but Greater Scotland, and the United 
States might be named Greater Ireland. As for the 
south of New Zealand, it is as Scotch as Edinburgh, 
and more Scotch than Glasgow. Go to Broken Hill, 
the richest silver mine in the world, and you will see 
five great shafts leading to the treasures of the earth ; 
these five great shafts bear the following names : Drew, 
Maclntyre, MacGregor, Jamieson and MacCullock, five 
Scots. It is the same thing everywhere. 

Melbourne, the intelligent, the much-alive, closes its 
museums on Sundays. A deputation one day waited 
upon Sir Graham Berry, then Prime Minister of the col- 
ony, to ask him to close the taverns on Sunday. The 
deputation was chiefly composed of pastors belonging 
to all kinds of Nonconformist churches. " I am very 
willing," said Sir Graham, " to use my influence to try 
and get the taverns closed on Sundays, if you will con- 
sent to my using the same influence to get the museums 
opened instead." The reverend gentlemen appeared 
not to relish the terms, and as the Prime Minister did 
not hear any more from them, it must be presumed 
* Since replaced by another Scot 



64 JOHN BULL & CO. 

that they preferred the pubhc-house to the museums as 
a Sunday resort for the people. In England every in- 
telligent person is clamoring for the opening of the 
museums on Sunday, and they will succeed one day in 
obtaining what they ask ; but it takes time, for the com- 
bat has to be carried on against all the allied forces of 
bigotry and conservatism. And yet it was the first and 
greatest of Protestants, Martin Luther himself, who 
said on this very subject, " If anywhere the day is 
made holy for the mere day's sake, then I command 
you to work on it, ride on it, dance on it, do anything that 
will reprove this encroachment on Christian spirit and 
liberty." The Germans are mostly Protestants, but on 
Sundays, on leaving church, they go in crowds to visit 
their museums before returning home. Narrow Sab- 
batarianism is neither Protestant nor Christian ; it is a 
Jewish institution. But Luther is not for England and 
Scotland, nor the Colonies. What they prefer is Cal- 
vin, John Knox, and all the enemies of simple joys and 
innocent recreations. 

I repeat, the population of Melbourne is more than 
five hundred thousand souls, but, like Sydney, she could 
spare a hundred thousand to the Bush without being 
any the worse for the process. I know no large town in 
the world containing so many parasites, drunkards, and 
loafers who have taken root there, but only cumber the 
ground. They are creatures who prefer idleness with 
poverty to hard work with a competency, which they 
could easily find away from the large towns. When I 
was in Melbourne the Government had opened a bureau 
to provide work for the unemployed. One day it was 
announced at the bureau that ten navvies were required 



JOHN BULL & CO. 65 

to begin the making of a road about sixty miles from 
Melbourne. The workmen presented themselves at the 
ofifice, and their names were called according to the date 
of their inscription. The secretary had to call over 
more than four hundred names before he could get ten 
men who would make up their minds to leave the town 
to go to work in the country. Sydney and Melbourne 
are being crowded to the detriment of the country at 
large, which bemoans not having enough hands to de- 
velop its resources. One cannot help wondering why, in 
a country where the Government makes grants of land at 
the rate of five shillings an acre, the desire of every emi- 
grant, every town workman, is not to put by a few 
pounds, and to become by his own exertions an inde- 
pendent person and a landowner. The Germans do it ; 
the Italians, the Swedes, and the Scotch do it, but the 
English and the Irish seem to prefer to tighten their 
belts, and lounge about the corners of the public-houses 
in Sydney and Melbourne. 

I cannot leave Melbourne without expressing my 
thanks to the genial French Consul, M. Leon Dejardin, 
who gave me a most cordial welcome, helped me with 
his good advice, and gave me valuable information on 
the subject of Australia. 

The journey from Melbourne to Adelaide is just like 
the one from Sydney to Melbourne, a monotonous 
eighteen hours' journey through the eucalyptus. How- 
ever, an hour before you reach Adelaide the country be- 
comes more hilly, the forest grows thicker, and when, 
from the last hill, you look down on Adelaide the view 
is magnificent. 

Adelaide, a town of a hundred thousand inhabitants. 



66 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



has not yet attained such an importance as Sydney or 
Melbourne, but it is making giant strides, and, thanks 
to its cereals, its vineyards, and its mines, it is destined 
to become the equal of these two great cities. To my 
taste, it is the prettiest of the three. Adelaide is built 
in blocks, American fashion, and is surrounded by su- 




VICTORIA SQUARE, FROM P. O. TOWER, ADELAIDE 
[From a Photograph by Lindt, Melbourne.\ 



perb parks. Beyond this it is hedged around with blue 
mountains, but the town is so clean, so coquettish-look- 
ing, so neat, its general appearance so gay, that you for- 
get the landscape, and think of the comfort that must 
be found in all those attractive-looking houses. Around 
about all looks prosperous and fertile : golden corn fields, 



JOHN BULL & CO. 6/ 

vines, orange-trees bending under their wealth of fruit, 
rich pastures, mines of gold, silver, and copper almost 
in the neighborhood ; this is what you admire about 
Adelaide much more than its Post Of^ce or its Town 
Hall. 

I passed a week most agreeably in this pretty city, 
thanks in part, it must be admitted, to the cordial recep- 
tion extended to me by the Governor and Lady Kin- 
tore, the Lieutenant-Governor (Chief Justice Way) and 
many others whom it would be impossible to name. 

If Melbourne boasts of its tramways, Sydney of its 
harbor, and Adelaide of its parks, I believe Brisbane, 
the capital of Queensland, boasts of its river. At Bris- 
bane you are close to the tropics ; the eucalyptus is still 
much to the fore, but the vegetation of the tropics at 
last breaks the monotony of the scene, and the eye, 
tired of the gray-green gum-tree, rests with delight upon 
these luxuriant growths. 

Apart from the Botanical Gardens, which are good, 
the town contains little that is likely to interest an Eu- 
ropean. The Parliament House is a fine building, and 
there is a magnificent new Treasury, not yet in use, 
though long since completed. 

Among the towns of secondary importance, towns of 
from twenty to fifty thousand inhabitants, we have only 
to mention Newcastle in New South Wales, at one time 
prosperous and famous for its coal mines, but to-day, 
thanks to strikes, dull, dreary, and poor, Bendigo, Bal- 
larat, and Geelong, in the colony of Victoria. Bendigo 
and Ballarat, where more than $150,000,000 of gold 
were found in thirty years, have retained some traces 
of their former opulence. They possess superb public 



68 JOHN BULL & CO. 

gardens, some fine edifices, and beautiful statues. The 
main street of Ballarat is of an extraordinary width, and 
is the finest to be seen in the Colonies. 

Australian towns have not generally any history. 
Ballarat is an exception. It was there that the miners, 
headed by Peter Lalor, sustained a bloody siege against 
the English troops in 1854. They were beaten, but 
their rights were acknowledged, and their defeat turned 
into a victory. Peter Lalor, wounded in the shoulder, 
took refuge in the Bush. A price was put on his head, 
but he managed to escape pursuit, and after the general 
amnesty, he became successively Member of Parliament, 
Minister and President of the Legislative Assembly of 
Victoria. Ballarat has just erected to him a statue 
which has come from the studio of my talented friend, 
Nelson MacLean. 

At the present day Ballarat is as dead as a dowager, 
that is to say, as a woman who was. 

In the Town Hall, you will find the walls of the main 
hall hung with oleographs representing the Queen, the 
Prince of Wales — such things as tradesmen send their 
customers at Christmas. It is pathetic. 

" How can you put such horrors on the Avails of such 
a beautiful hall?" I asked the Town Clerk who kindly 
accompanied me. 

" What would you have us do ? " he said. " We can- 
not afford to buy paintings. These are better than 
nothing, aren't they ? " 

It reminded me of a reply I got from a man in Amer- 
ica who was selling jewelry set with sham gems. 

" Does anybody really buy those things ? " I asked 
him. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 69 

" Of course they do," he repHed. " What are the 
women to do who haven't the money to buy real dia- 
monds ? " 

However, I must add that the Museum contains many 
valuable pictures, and I saw more works of art in Bal- 
larat than in any town of the same size. 

Bendigo, the other gold-mining town, is more lively 
than Ballarat, but not so pretty. However, it has a 
very fine Square, surrounded with buildings which would 
do honor to a more important town. It has also a laby- 
rinth of ferns which I recommend to lovers in search of 
a quiet retreat, fresh and inviting. For that matter, 
heaven knows it is made use enough of, and needs not 
my recommendation ! 

Geelong is a sleepy little place, given up to the nar- 
rowest bigotry. It, like Melbourne, is situated on the 
coast of Phillip's Bay. 

It is in this city of saints (each colony seems to boast 
one) that one of the notable inhabitants, an antediluvian 
fossil, went to the booking office to ask, before taking 
tickets for my lectures, if it was not dangerous to take 
ladies to hear " that Frenchman." It was also in this 
interesting town that an anonymous wag sent me the 
portrait of Wellington, advising me to place it where I 
should never lose sight of it. Would it not have been 
more polite and more Christian to send to a Frenchman 
passing through Geelong a portrait of General Bosquet, 
for instance, who, at the battle of Inkermann, saved the 
lives of a whole division of English who were going to 
be massacred to the last man by the Russians ? 

Geelong was intended to be the capital of Australia, 
and, who knows, perhaps of the world ; but— how did 



70 JOHN BULL & CO. 

it happen ? I know not — it is Melbourne that is the 
capital of the colony, and Geelong, after having held 
almost in its grasp the pivot of the universe, remains — 
Geelong. 

Sic transit siloria inundi. 



CHAPTER VII. 

People of Society, People in Society, and "Society" People — 
The "Sets" — Society Papers — "Miss D. looked thrillingly 
lovely in electric blue " — ^The Australian Women are Beauti- 
ful — Imitation of the Old World — A Tasmanian Snob — 
Darling Point, Pott's Point and Sore Point — A Melbourne 
Journalist on his Townspeople. 

For centuries past the Old World has tolerated an 
idle class in consideration of certain services that it 
renders to the arts, which it protects, to commerce, which 
it helps, to elegance, which it inculcates, and to good 
manners, which it perpetuates, but the young worlds 
ought to keep all their admiration for self-abnegation, 
for courage, work and the pride of duty accomplished, 
and ought not to tolerate any society but one which can 
boast of contributing to the advancement of its country. 
Yet there are to be found in Australia, a country which 
owes its existence and its outlook to valiant pioneers 
with faces wrinkled by toil and suffering, and arms 
burnt by the sun, people who are already beginning to 
boast of not working with their hands, parasites who 
imitate all the idlers of the Old World, and whose only 
aim in life is to obtain a footing in a certain " set." 

These people, people who have inherited fortunes 
earned by means of hard work and a life of complete 
abnegation, already run down the Colonies and would 
think it beneath them to drink a glass of the excellent 
wine that Australia produces. They shut their ears to 

71 



72 JOHN BULL & CO. 

Madame Melba whilst she was among them and of 
them, but to-day they would willingly pay five pounds 
for an orchestra stall, I have no doubt, if the (I'zz'rt would 
go and sing in Melbourne or Sydney. 

Colonial society has absolutely nothing original about 
it. It is content to copy all the shams, all the follies, 
all the impostures of the Old British World. You will 
find in the southern hemisphere that venality, adoration 
of the golden calf, hypocrisy and cant are still more 
noticeable than in England, and I can assure you that 
a badly cut coat would be the means of closing more 
doors upon you than would a doubtful reputation. 

And the women of that society ! They are sublime 
with their " sets," even away in little Bush towns ! 

In a little hole of a country town containing about 
two thousand inhabitants, I met one day a lady, with 
whom I entered into conversation by saying that I had 
met a fellow-townswoman of hers in Sydney, and I 
added, mentioning the name, " You know her, no 
doubt?" 

" Ye-e-es," said she, as if trying to ransack her mem- 
ory ; " I know her — by name, but she and I do not mix 
in the same society." 

"Just so," I said. "Not in the same set, eh?" 

" Precisely." 

The select colonial was the wife of an ironmonger of 
the town. 

My dear lady, those women, you understand, could 
not all be ironmongers' wives ! 

I know of a Melbourne lady who boasted of being 
obliged to drop the acquaintance of a charming and 
distinguished woman, because, said she, " I cannot 



JOHN BULL & CO. Tl 

have hansoms standing at my door on my reception 
days." 

Another said to me one day, "Really, the shopkeeper 
class is getting intolerable ; it is pushing itself into so- 
ciety everywhere." The father of this grand person, I 
found, himself kept a shop in the environs of Mel- 
bourne. 

And here let me frankly say that I am getting a little 
tired of hearing about the modesty and seriousness of 
the Englishwoman, and of hearing the Frenchwoman 
called frivolous. Have I not seen at bazaars in Eng- 
land and its Colonies — sanctified fairs organized to pro- 
vide an organ for the church or a peal of bells for the 
tower — have we not all seen women and girls conduct- 
ing themselves with unblushing effrontery to fill the 
coffers of the cause f Have I not seen in shop windows 
their portraits in low-necked dresses, and with their 
names attached ? " Why not their address ? " a French- 
man would say, if such things were seen in France. 

Our women, thanks be, are more modest and more 
serious than that. Not only they do not permit the 
photographer to exhibit their portraits in his window, 
but if you go to the Salon and see the portraits of our 
women painted by Bonnat, Carolus Duran, and the 
rest, you will never see the name of the original in the 
catalogue. On the Boulevards, it is true, one sees the 
photographs of our actresses, with the name of each at 
the foot of the picture, but that is quite another matter : 
the profession of the stage obliges those who follow it 
to keep themselves constantly before the public. 

Yes, many voyages in many lands have but strength- 
ened my admiration for the Frenchwoman, that clever, 



74 JOHN BULL & CO. 

thrifty housekeeper, tactful, cheering wife, dutiful and 
devoted daughter, and wise and watchful mother, de- 
servedly adored of her children. 

But let us return to our sets and snobs. 

There exist in the great towns of Australia from five 
to ten papers, called society papers, which live on that 
ugly Anglo-Saxon failing, snobbery. This is a word 
for which an equivalent does not exist in the French 
language, and I think that our most implacable ene- 
mies would admit that we have not the fault itself. 
Heaven knows we have enough others, but if I some- 
times feel proud of my nationality it is, among a hun- 
dred other reasons, because we have no society papers. 
It would concern us little to know that Miss Jones took 
tea with Miss Robinson on Monday, or that Miss Brown 
went to Mrs. Smith's dance on Tuesday. It does not 
interest us to know that " Mrs. A. looked superb in 
pink at Mrs. B.'s ball," and that " Mrs. C. received her 
guests with much grace at the entrance to the drawing 
room," nor does it concern us to know that " Miss D. 
looked thrillingly lovely in electric blue." 

Snobbery is not an Australian characteristic, but an 
Anglo-Saxon one developed to the extreme in the Colo- 
nies. It is noticeable in England, Canada, the United 
States, and everywhere that the English language is 
spoken. In all these countries the society paper 
flourishes. 

In Australia it is not only Melbourne, Sydney, and 
Adelaide that indulge in the luxury. There is scarcely 
a little suburb which has not its own society paper. It 
is as if we had a Batignolles Gazette, chronicling the 
doings and sayings of that respectable quarter of Paris. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 75 

Imagine a French person reading such a sheet, if it did 
exist ! 

The most curious part of it is, that all these Anglo- 
Saxon society papers adopt the tone of Censores Morum; 
and there is not one of them which does not set up as 
a weekly Juvenal, at the same time flattering its readers 
by giving accounts of their doings at home, with details 
that might well make a self-respecting hostess blush. 

In society, in the great towns of Australia, I saw 
plenty of beautiful women ; women with lovely faces sur- 
mounting most beautifully moulded forms ; but I think 
I met there some of the most frivolous women to be 
found anywhere. Balls, dinners, soirees, calls, garden 
parties, appear to fill the life of hundreds of them. 
Such women are quite without originality. Their con- 
versation is neither interesting, entertaining, nor natural. 
The consequence is that social life has neither the re- 
fined elegance and witty vivacity of Paris, nor the verve 
and intellectual animation of Boston and New York. 
The men are too apt to talk finance, wool and mutton ; 
the women to talk dress and scandal, discussing the ques- 
tion whether Mrs. So-and-So belongs to this or that 
"set." 

Happily these have not the whole field to themselves, 
for there are plenty of people in Australia who, while 
mixing in society, yet find time to read and think and 
to lend a helping hand to any good work that needs 
champions and helpers. And when I have said that I 
met, in the Colonies, numbers of charming people, as 
amiable and distinguished as could be desired in the 
best European society, I hope that will be sufficient to 
prevent this chapter from being read in a wrong spirit. 



^6 JOHN BULL & CO. 

So, dear madam, who do me the honor to read me in 
Sydney or Melbourne, please understand that nothing 
in this chapter is addressed to you. The society of 
which I speak is not yours, but the other, the one that 
is written between inv^erted commas. 

.While on the topic of snobs, allow me to illustrate 
with a personal anecdote. 

There existed in Hobart, Tasmania, at the time of 
my visit there, a weekly rag, which, having learnt that 
I was once a professor at St. Paul's School, London, 
thought to insult me by calling me " an usher." I must 
say it did me no manner of harm : it was one of those 
would-be insults that hurt the person who utters them 
more than the one whom they are meant for. This was 
the only disagreeable note that reached my ears amid 
a chorus of praise, the only mud splash that I received 
in the Colonies, and it left no stain. M. Alphonse Dau- 
det, in his Trente Ans de Paris, boasts of having been 
an usher, so I might well be proud of it — if I had been 
one ! 

Poor silly snob ! . 

Place two Englishmen on a desert island, and in a 
little while one of them will have found out that his 
grandfather was better than the grandfather of the 
other, and he will have inaugurated an aristocracy in 
the island, if not started a society paper to record his 
own doings. 

The greater part of would-be society people, in Anglo- 
Saxon countries above all, pass a great deal of their 
time in discovering their ancestors, and in growing for 
themselves a genealogical tree, with the trunk taking 



JOHN BULL & CO. ']'] 

root in the Middle Ages. The Austrahans waste httle 
time on this. Like the rest of the human race, they 
have ancestors, but some of them would prefer to have 
none. Their origin in New South Wales and Tas- 
mania is a delicate subject, which must not be touched 
upon. 

Voltaire once said that a man cannot be too careful 
in the choice of his ancestors. Plenty of colonials have 
overlooked this sound piece of advice. It is well known, 
of course, that the first colonials were convicts, and so 
the Australians naturally interest themselves little in 
any but the two generations that have preceded them. 
Yet it must be remembered that, up to sixty or seventy 
years ago, England transported to Australia poor 
wretches whose crimes would be punished in the pres- 
ent day with a few days' imprisonment, or even a fine 
of a few shillings. Moreover, we are entering on an 
age when people are judged by their own merits, and 
not by those of their ancestors. Nevertheless, the fact 
remains. 

Sydney aristocracy has taken up its residence in the 
suburbs of the town, on beautiful promontories com- 
manding a view of the loveliest harbor in the world. 
These elegant suburbs are called Darling Point, Pott's 
Point, etc. Darling Point is the fashionable place. 

Just opposite this lies Cockatoo Island, where con- 
victs sojourned in days gone by. That is Sore Point. 

Botany Bay has ceased to exist for a long time past. 
It is now Elizabeth Bay, Rose Bay, and many other 
places affected by people whom I found to be, for the 
most part, of an amiability and hospitality which I shall 
never foreret. 



78 JOHN BULL & CO. 

Mr. James Smith, one of the best-known Austrahan 
journahsts, commenting on Mr. H. C. J. Lingard's 
Juvenal in Mclbouj-nc, says : " There are few cities or 
communities which afford greater scope for the cen- 
sor and the satirist than our own ; its vices, its rehgious 
hypocrisies, its pohtical folHes, its social shams, its ab- 
ject worship of money and what money can buy, its 
low standard of commercial morality, its debased and 
debasing taste in the matter of literature, art and music, 
all invite the lash." 

I am happy to be able to say that some of the ugliest 
things on Mr. James Smith's list did not come under my 
notice at all in Australia. The things that I have tried to 
point out are ugly enough; but, after all, they are only 
foibles, failings, weaknesses. In all my wanderings in 
Australasia I never saw such things as, unhappily, one 
hears too much of in the United States — judges and 
juries who are to be bought ; councilmen who go into 
office to apply the ratepayers' money to the lining of 
their own pockets instead of to the paving of the public 
streets. I noticed nothing in Australia which could lead 
one to suppose that it has not the righteousness which 
" exalteth a nation." 



CHAPTER VIII. 

Hospitality in the Colonies — Different People at Home and 
Abroad — Extreme Courtesy of the Australian — Childishness 
— Visit to the Four Everlasting Buildings of the Colonial 
Towns — Impressions — Wild Expenditure — Give Us a Prison 
— "Who is Bismarck?" — "Don't Know" — In the Olden 
Time. 

Like the English at home, the inhabitants of the 
Enghsh Colonies are the most amiable and most hospi- 
table in the world. I say, and repeat emphatically, " like 
the English at home," for it would be a mistake to judge 
the English by the specimens one meets traveling on 
the Continent. 

And here, perhaps, a question might be asked : How 
is it that the English, who are so amiable at home, are 
often so disagreeable when they are on their travels ? 
And we might, in reply, quote the question that M. 
Labiche asks in Le Voyage de M. Perrichon: " How is it 
that the French, who are so witty at home, are so stu- 
pid abroad ? " 

If one wants to judge of a man, one must study him 
at home, when he has his natural surroundings, and he 
is thoroughly himself. Ignorance of the language, 
uses and customs of a foreign country make him awk- 
ward. Abroad he is playing a role for which Nature . 
never cast him. Setting aside the perfect gentleman — 
who is a perfect gentleman everywhere — a man out of 
his own country is more or less like a fish out of water. 

79 



8o JOHN BULL & CO. 

He does not breathe freely, he is out of his element, he 
is not at his ease, much less at his best. He is not him- 
self. I think God, when he created man, must have 
said to him, " Thou shalt stay at home." 

The Englishman at home pleases me, and I do my 
best to please him ; but let an Englishman in Paris stop 
me to ask, without even lifting his hat, " Ok est le roue 
de Rc'voley ? " and he displeases and annoys me, so that 
I promptly answer, " Connais pas / " 

Upon my word, I believe that their very looks are 
changed when they travel. I confess that I never met 
in England with the red-whiskered men and the long- 
toothed women who figure as English people in French 
comic papers ; but I must, in justice to our caricaturists, 
say, that in France, in Switzerland, and wherever the 
tourist is to be found, I have seen these types by the 
dozen ; and the most curious part of it is, that numbers 
of my English friends perfectly agree with me on this 
point. Explain this phenomenon, O ye readers of 
riddles ! 

Just like the English at home, I found the Austra- 
lians — and, to include the people of New Zealand and 
Tasmania, I should say the Australasians — great in hos- 
pitality. I do not remember, for instance, a single 
town where, on the day of my arrival, I was not put up 
at the club of the locality. It was who should give me 
a drive or a mount, a picnic or a shooting-party. The 
most hearty invitations were tendered from all sides. 
In the Bush, it is open-house hospitality ; the stranger 
may enter and eat ; nay, in many cases sleep, if it please 
him to do so. 

If the people of the Colonies have all the little fail- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 8 1 

ings of a young society, they have, without exception, 
all the qualities. In this they resemble the Americans. 

And what is Australia but a newer America } 

But let us not anticipate. 

The fact is, however — so much may be stated to start 
with — the Australian begins to dislike hearing himself 
called colonial. He is proud of his country ; the spirit 
of nationality is growing in him day by day, and he is 
proud to call himself and hear himself called Austra- 
lian. 

He is proud, not only of his country, but of his little 
town that he has seen spring up through the earth, so 
to speak, and that he has labored to make flourishing. 
Like the American, he asks you as you leave the rail- 
way carriage, almost before you have had time to shake 
the dust from your garments, what you think of Aus- 
tralia, of his little town that you have only just set 
eyes on ; and, though the place should consist of but 
one small street, dotted with wooden cottages, he will 
offer without delay to take you round and show you 
the sights of the town. The sights of the town ! That 
is too funny for anything. 

People to whom I had never spoken would cross the 
road to come and say, " Look about you well, sir ; you 
are in the garden of Australia here." Each district in 
Australia seemed to be "the garden of the Colonies." 
My response also was stereotyped : " You are right 
to be proud of your district, which is evidently the most 
beautiful in the Colonies." 

I used to be taken to see little buildings composed of 
three or four rooms, furnished with a table, four or five 
benches, a blackboard, and a map. They were called 



82 JOHN 15ULL & CO. 

Technical Schools or Schools of Art. In the vestibule 
there was always a visitors' book where I was requested 
to put down my impressions. Making bricks without 
straw was child's play to this. There was nothing to 
be done but adopt aaother stereotyped phrase : " Con- 
sidering the age of this town, I know few places that 
have a more promising School of Art." Is it not the 
counterpart of America, where in the veriest little vil- 
lages there is sold an album of views of the district ? 
that is to say, photographs of Smith's pharmacy, Jones's 
drapery establishment, and the hotel kept by Brown. 

The happiness of the Australians is something envi- 
able. They are so satisfied with themselves and all 
that is Australian. When they travel they utter cries 
of admiration at the sight of a hill that they call a 
mountain, or a trickling stream that they call a river. It 
is curious to find a restricted and provincial turn of mind 
in the inhabitants of such a vast, grand country. If 
you were not to congratulate them upon the things that 
they have accomplished, you would be wanting not 
only in generosity, but in politeness, and I thank heaven 
that I was able to make some return for the amiability 
of my hosts, by visiting all the post ofifices, town 
halls, hospitals, and technical schools of the different 
towns. 

Among my subjects for the platform was one en- 
titled "The Happiest Nation on Earth." It was a 
chat on France and the French. I have been traveling 
about the world a great deal during the past ten years, 
and have long since come to the conclusion that France, 
whatever may be her defects, her faults, her vices even, 
is the happiest of the nations of the globe, and certainly 



JOHN BULL & CO. 83 

the country where people best understand how to hve. 
An AustraHan came one evening and sat by me in the 
smoke-room of a club. " What an astonishing power 
of observation you have ! " he said. " You have not been 
more than two months in the Colonies, and I see by the 
papers that you are going to give a lecture on Austra- 
lia." It was evident that to him the happiest nation 
on earth could only mean Australia. 

Nations are like individuals. When they are young 
they possess all the characteristics of childhood — curi- 
osity, susceptibility, the love of hearing themselves 
praised, jealousy of the younger brother or sister if the 
plums are not distributed with strict impartiality. 

I know a little New South Wales town of fifteen or 
sixteen hundred inhabitants, which, being jealous of its 
neighbor because a prison had been built for it, insisted 
that the member of Parliament should obtain from the 
Government as large and as handsome a prison as that 
of the neighboring town. As usual, the Government ac- 
ceded to the demand of the member. This is how big 
buildings spring up in the Colonies. The electors say 
to their representative, " If you do not obtain a new 
Town Hall or Post Offlce for us, we shall not vote for 
you and you will lose your seat and your three hundred 
a year." The member says to the cabinet minister, " I 
must have a Town Hall for the town that I represent. 
If you do not give it to me, I shall not vote for you, 
and you will lose your place and a thousand a year." 
And thus it is that, in the most insignificant little towns 
of two thousand inhabitants, in the seven Colonies of 
Australia, you may see a Town Hall that has cost thirty 
thousand pounds, a Pest Office that has cost twenty 



84 JOHN BULL & CO, 

thousand pounds, a Court House after the same rate, 
etc.* To cope with this reckless expenditure the coun- 
try borrows money, and was last summer in a state bor- 
dering on bankruptcy. 

The Australians have adopted the device, "Advance, 
Australia!" but it is John Bull who advances — the 
funds. 

To come back to our little jealous town^ — it obtained 
its prison. But when it was completed it remained six 
months without inmates. What did the townspeople 
do but hold an indignation meeting, and pass a resolu- 
tion expressing the hope that the magistrates and the 
police would henceforward strictly do their duty, so 
that this deplorable state of things might no longer 
exist ! 

There is happiness in believing oneself in possession 
of what is best in the world, and the Australians enjoy 
that happiness. They are satisfied with their lot, and 
no longer concern themselves about the affairs of the 
Old World, which has ceased to interest them. I was 
talking one day to an Englishman who had been estab- 
lished in the Colonies nearly fifty years. We talked 
about Europe, and I had occasion to mention Bismarck 
and a few other well-known names. I verily believe 
that he had never heard any of them before. Presently 
I said to him : 

"■ Perhaps you do not take much interest in the things 
that are going on in Europe ? " 

* In Maryborough (Victoria), there was a ceiling bought for the 
Court House at a cost of £b,ooo. To put it up, workmen were had 
over from Germany. The town has not yet four thousand inhabit- 
ants. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 85 

" My dear sir," he replied, " to tell you the truth, I 
shall soon have been fifty years in this country, and now 
I can do without Europe altogether." 

The true Australian takes more pleasure in hearing 
the amateurs of his own particular town than in listen- 
ing to the great singers whom Europe sends him from 
time to time. Left to himself, he takes his pleasures at 
his club, at church bazaars, at meetings social and polit- 
ical — in a word, in everything local. 

Open any of the newspapers published in the Colonies, 
and you will see no European news, so to speak, unless 
it be in Sydney or Melbourne; but these two cities are 
not Australia. The real Australia consists of hundreds 
of little centres of population scattered over a continent of 
about the same size as the whole of Europe. If, however, 
an Australian cricket team happens to be in England or 
America, long cablegrams, at eight shillings a word, keep 
the Australians posted up in their successes or reverses. 
The local interest dominates everything. The Ameri- 
cans are more advanced. They have passed through 
their transformation period. Europe interests them ; 
but it must be added that America is but six days' jour- 
ney from Europe, whereas from Australia to England 
is nearly a six weeks' voyage. Besides, Australia is 
much younger than America. 

Yes, it is young, that broad, brave Australia, and 
when I think of what it has accomplished in a few years, 
it seems to me that it can afford to laugh at its own lit- 
tle foibles, even as I laugh. 

I was one day taking a drive in Broken Hill, the rich- 
est place in the world in silver mines — Broken Hill, 
eight years ago a desert, to-day a town with forty thou- 



86 JOHN BULL & CO. . 

sand inhabitants. We were passing a little tumble-down 
building. 

"What is that old construction?" I asked my com- 
panion, an engineer of the district. 

" Oh, that ? " he replied. " In the old times it was the 
Court House." 

" In the old times ! " I instinctively thought of the 
days of the Crusaders. 

" What do you mean — ' in the old times ?' But I 
thought Broken Hill was only about six or seven years 
old?" 

" Oh," said he, carelessly, " I mean three or four years 
ago." 

That is the olden time of Australia. 



CHAPTER IX. 

Colonial " Cheek" — Mutual Admiration Society — An Inquisitive 
Colonial — A Verbatim Conversation — An Amiable Land- 
lord — Modest Politicians — Advice to England by an Aus- 
tralian Minister — Provincialisms — Napier — Opinions on 
Madame Sarah Bernhardt — Mr. H. M. Stanley and the 
Municipal Councilor — The Czar had Better Behave Him- 
self — I Introduce Sophocles to the Colonies and Serve Cor- 
neille a Bad Turn — An Invitation Accepted with a Ven- 
geance. 

You find in the English Colonies all the traits of char- 
acter possessed by the Americans and all peoples that 
are relatively very young: not only childishness and 
irreverence, but self-sufficiency and " cheek." 

Each English Colony is a little mutual admiration 
society, jealous of its neighbors and fully persuaded of 
its own superiority. The strong provincialism of the 
Australians proceeds from their isolation and complete 
ignorance of the Old World. Their self-sufficiency 
springs from the democratic spirit — the spirit of inde- 
pendence inculcated in them from the tenderest age, 
and which makes every free-born Briton say, " I am as 
good as my neighbor," which may be interpreted, " I 
am a good deal better." 

It is an English sentiment that flourishes in colonial 
air. 

Let the greatest scientific men of England meet at 
the Mansion House to do homage to M. Pasteur, and 

87 



/ 

/ 



88 JOHN BULL & CO. 

publicly acknowledge the complete success of his great 
discoveries, and you will see in the newspapers next day 
a letter from some pretentious ignoramus, declaring 
that M. Pasteur is overpraised and that his discoveries 
are far from satisfying the writer of the letter. 

If a French workman found himself in the Sorbonne 
or the College de France, and heard a lecture by a Caro 
or a Renan going on, he would respectfully leave the 
hall and say to himself, " This is a little beyond you, 
my boy ; you have come to the wrong place." An Eng- 
lish workman, an Australian still more, would quit the 
building in contempt, probably shouting, " What in- 
terest can there be in such stuff as that ? How does the 
fellow get anyone to listen to it ? He is a fool." 

A strong characteristic of the lower-class Australian 
is irreverence. Not irreverence for many things that 
still claim obeisance in the Old World. If it were but 
that, I could almost admire him for it ; but, unhappily, 
he utterly fails in respect for most things that are held, 
and always will be held, in well-deserved respect in any 
world worth living in ; for instance, such things as old 
age, talent, hard-earned position. He speaks of his 
parents as "the old man and the old woman ; " and if he 
is not quite sure of being able to write lines as fine as 
Shakespeare's, it is because he has never tried. 

In England, the people of the lowest class often speak 
of their children as "encumbrance." In Australia it is 
the parents who are the encumbrance. 

For this spirit of irreverence the parents themselves 
are largely to blame. They do not subject their chil- 
dren to proper discipline ; in fact, young Australia can- 
not be said to know the meaning of the word " discipline." 



JOHN BULL & CO. 89 

What a boon compulsory military training would be to 
the youth of Australia in making them know what sal- 
utary restrictions and perfect, unreasoning obedience 
mean ! 

It is to be regretted, too, for his sake, that woman does 
not make her influence felt enough to act as a subduing, 
restraining, elevating factor in his existence. 

In every corner of the globe where two or three Eng- 
lishmen have congregated, you find that insupportable 
person, the man who writes letters to the newspapers 
to make known his opinions urbi et orbi. Political, re- 
ligious, social, commercial, literary and dramatic ques- 
tions — all these are within his domain ; he is omniscient. 
The type is to be found in London ; in the provinces 
it is rampant. He decides the greatest State questions, 
gives advice to the sovereigns of Europe, criticises the 
achievements of Edison and the discoveries of Pasteur ; 
nothing is sacred from the pen of this conceited wise- 
acre. He has a remedy for all the evils on earth, and 
modestly signs his letters Veritas^ /ustitia, Observe?', 
more often Pro Bono Publico. These people are the 
Perrichons of Anglo-Saxondom. 

What cool impudence, what bounce they have, some 
of those good Australians ! 

I was stopped one day in Sydney streets by a young 
man, rather well dressed, who tapped me on the shoulder 
and said, " Are you Max O'Rell ? " 

" Yes ; what do you want with me ? " 

" Oh, nothing. I wanted to have a look at you, that's 
all." 

If you are proud and stuck up, do not go to Western 



90 JOHN BULL & CO. 

America nor to the Colonies, where you would soon be 
brought to your bearings. On getting to the hotel of a 
certain Australian town one day, I inquired for the ad- 
dress of a gentleman for whom I had a letter of intro- 
duction. 

" Where does Mr. B. live ? " I asked. 

" Do you mean Dick B. ? " replied the landlord. Men 
are known as Tom, Dick or Harry in the Colonies and 
" out West." 

In another Australian hotel the landlord came to me 
soon after my arrival and, with a pleasant but somewhat 
protecting smile, said, " There are about a dozen com- 
mercial travelers staying in the house ; if you like, I will 
introduce you to them ; perhaps, if you make a good im- 
pression on them, they will go to hear you in the Town 
Hall to-night." 

This obliging host wanted to do me a good turn. His 
intentions were excellent. I thanked him, and declined. 

The following is a verbatim account of a conversation 
overheard in Broken Hill on the day after my first lec- 
ture there. The miners were all on strike, and two of 
them were sitting on a fence, having a quiet chat. 

" Well, Bill, what did you do last night?" 

"Why, I went to 'ear Mac O'Neil." 

" Mac O'Neil ? Who the is he ? " 

" Oh, don't yer know ? One of Smythe's * lit'ry 
," with an accent of great contempt on the lifry. 

Every Australian goose is a swan at the very least. 
Just opposite my hotel in Wagga-Wagga (how one 

* Mr. R. S. Smythe is known to every colonial as the manager of 
literary men's lecturing tours. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 9 1 

must be handicapped when one hails from Wagga- 
Wagga !) there were three Httle shops, one a draper's, an- 
other an ironmonger's, the third a grocer's. The first 
was called Imperial Emporium, the second, Hall of 
Commerce, the third, Great Commercial Entrepot, pro- 
nounced by the inhabitants Interpott. 

I pass over the Louvres and Bon Marches of Tara- 
kundra, Maratitipu and Ratatata. 

In a town of fifteen hundred inhabitants, I saw in- 
scribed over the door of a little shop where in the win- 
dow reposed a few pounds of cherries and strawberries, 
Palais de Fruits — in French, if you please. 

But what is this compared to the little shop in Inver- 
cargill, New Zealand, where cheap toys are retailed, and 
which bears the proud name of LeviatJian Toy Depot ? 

In the politicians of the Colonies the self-sufficiency 
becomes epic. A democratic politician is self-sufficient 
enough anywhere ; judge for yourself what he must be 
in the Colonies. 

Sir George Dibbs, Premier of New South Wales, and 
Knight Commander of St. Michael and St. George, went, 
in the spring of the year 1892, to pass a few months in 
England, and to profit by his voyage to enlighten the 
English Government on colonial matters. For months 
the Australian newspapers were full of telegrams, descrip- 
tive of the doings and sayings of the great statesman. He 
had dined here, danced there ; he had passed several days 
at the castle of Lord A. or hunted with Lord B. ; he had 
been presented to His Royal Highness the Prince of 
Wales, and had kissed the hand of the Queen. It was 
Dibbs, served up with a fresh sauce day after day. Great 
was the surprise of his admirers at home to read one day 



92 JOHN BULL & CO. 

that the democrat, the ahnost repubhcan Australian, had 
knelt before Her Majesty to receive the order of knight- 
hood. " He deserved it," said some. "Going on as he 
was, he could not escape it," said others. " Well, it is 
all over now ; the English aristocracy have corrupted 
him ! " Some laughed, some made fun of it ; others be- 
gan to be angry. Cablegrams continued to pour in, but 
soon announced the return of the new-made knight. 
Was it a courtier or a faithful colonial that would pre- 
sent himself once more among them ? 

Sir George came home and reappeared at a great re- 
ception held in his honor at the Sydney Town Hall, in 
his old part of friend of the people. It was not a violet 
and cherry colored ribbon that had changed him. He 
had done his best to avoid the bauble. The Queen 
willed it, and he had to bow to her wishes ; he had done 
it " to oblige the lady." The next thing to do was to 
explain to the young democracy of Australia the pur- 
pose of his voyage. The minister got through this very 
neatly. 

I extract from his modest discourse the following pas- 
sage : 

" I am told other people have tried to do the same 
thing before me and that I was traveling over old 
ground. I admit that is quite true. Great events and 
great success are not achieved by the first attempt. It 
is not the first broadside that wins the battle, but that 
continual pegging away which we read of in the life of 
Abraham Lincoln. I had numerous interviews with 
Mr. Goschen, and found in him a hard nut to crack. 
One look at his hard, strong lower jaw told me that I 
had met a foeman worthy of my steel {applause). Mr. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 93 

Goschen did not like our fiscal policy. I told him that 
that was no concern of his, but only the concern of the 
people of New South Wales {cheers), and Mr. Goschen 
succumbed in very little time." 

If England, in her maternal solicitude, offered to lend 
Mr. Goschen to Australia to reduce its finances to some- 
thing like order (as he has already been lent to Egypt) 
the people of the Colonies would reply that Australia 
possesses Goschens by the dozen, and that John Bull may 
mind his own business, and keep to his own country. 

The Minister for National Defence of one of the Aus- 
tralian colonies (formerly a tradesman) was on the 
Thames one day with several English ofificers. He fell 
to criticising the fortifications and to explaining how 
easy it would be to take London. The naval and mili- 
tary authorities listened to the ex-shopkeeper and kept 
their countenance. The sang-froid of the Briton is 
prodigious. For many a week the anecdote was the de- 
light of the London clubs. 

On the occasion of a public holiday-making, the mayor 
of a little town asked me to accompany him to where the 
townspeople had assembled to pass the day in merry- 
making. When we reached the place, a deputation 
came to welcome His Worship (thus do English mayors 
modestly compete with the divinity). 

Mr. Mayor, without alighting from the carriage, got 
on his feet and addressed a few impressive phrases to 
the crowd, who listened in respectful silence. 

"Yes, my dear fellow-townsmen," said the worthy 
mayor, " enjoy yourselves, for you deserve to. Such a 
hard-working community as this can take its holidays 
with a light heart and easy conscience, I thank you for 



94 JOHN BULL & CO. 

the kind words you have addressed to me. I feel them 
very deeply. As long as I have the honor to be your 
mayor, you may rest assured that I shall always take an 
interest in the recreations of the people." 

Never did a Royal Highness, opening a public recrea- 
tion ground, go through his part with more solemnity. 

The more isolated the town, the more accentuated 
the provincialism. On the east coast of New Zealand 
there is a little town of three or four thousand inhab- 
itants, the personal importance of which is Homeric. 
The town is Napier. 

I had just given a lecture in Wellington, the capital 
of New Zealand. The hall was crowded, and never did 
I speak to a warmer or more appreciative audience. 
As the people were leaving the hall, my manager caught 
the following scrap of conversation : 

" What a success ! " 

Then followed a few flattering remarks. 

" Not bad," said the person addressed ; " but it would 
not do for Napier ; we are more difficult to please than 
that." 

My manager never dared take me to Napier. When 
one has satisfied Paris, London, Edinburgh, Glasgow, 
Birmingham, Manchester, Liverpool, New York, Bos- 
ton, Philadelphia, Chicago, San Francisco, Sydney, 
Melbourne, Adelaide, etc., one is sorry not to be able to 
add Napier to the list. 

It was in Napier that, after the eminent baritone 
Santley had made his appearance there, a newspaper 
gave it as its opinion that there were at least twenty 
amateurs in Napier who could sing quite as well as 
Santley, and iniicJi louder,- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 95 

I should have Hked very much to give a lecture in 
French at Napier. I should probably have heard next 
day that my French was far from irreproachable. 

I one day met a good Australian who lived in a little 
town of a few hundred inhabitants in the colony of Vic- 
toria. He v/as unable to speak or understand a word 
of French. He had been to Melbourne to see Madame 
Sarah Bernhardt play Adrienne Lccouvreur. 

" Well,'" said I to him, "what do you think of our 
great tragedienne ? " 

" Not bad," he replied ; " but I think she is much 
overpraised ! " 

A few years ago Mr. H. M. Stanley made a lecturing 
tour in Australia, under the auspices of Mr. R. S. 
Smythe. A few days before taking Mr. Stanley to New- 
castle, New South Wales, Mr. Smythe was in that town 
making preparations for the great explorer's appearance. 
He meets a town councilor of his acquaintance. After 
the exchange of the usual civilities, the town councilor 
says to the famous lecture manager, 

"Well, Mr. Smythe, whom have you brought us this 
time ? " 

" I mean to bring Mr. Stanley to Newcastle next 
week. How do you think he will do in this town ? " 

" I should not like to say," replied the worthy town 
councilor. " I have given several lectures in Newcastle 
myself, and I have never been able to get a good house." 

A little newspaper of Nelson, a New Zealand town of 
about two thousand inhabitants, speaking of a lecture 
given by Mr. Stanley, remarked that Mr. Stanley was 
well enough as a lecturer, but that " he was not well up 
in his subject." 



96 JOHN BULL & CO. 

It was this same paper which, upon the expulsion of 
the Jews by order of the Russian government, pubhshed 
an article entitled, " Oiir Warning to the Czar." 

The Czar had better behave himself. 

I myself had the happiness of not displeasing the 
mighty organ of Nelson too much, for it declared that 
my lectures were " excellent," but^ " unfortunately, not 
equally balanced." I was let off easy. 

But the best souvenir I have of this kind is perhaps 
this one : 

It was in B., a little town of from twelve to fifteen 
hundred inhabitants in Cape Colony. 

I was to give a public lecture in the Lyric Hall one 
evening. 

Lyric Hall — what a name for it ! Four wooden walls 
outside, benches inside, and at one end a stage framed 
in with boards, on which a few nymphs and sylphs 
had been painted after a fashion. 

On the right and left were two long panels, bearing 
the inscriptions, Music, Drama. Under these headings 
came some names, five on either side : Shakespeare, 
Dante, Milton, Moliere, and Corneille on the right-hand 
panel ; Beethoven, Berlioz, Wagner, Rossini, and Verdi 
on the left-hand one. 

I went with my manager in the afternoon to see the 
hall. The proprietor happened to be there. When he 
had a spare moment, it appeared, he came there to sit 
and contemplate his handiwork. For it was of his crea- 
tion, this Lyric Hall ; it was he who had built it ; he 
who had suggested the decorations and the inscriptions. 
The whole thing had sprung from his own brain, and he 
was not a little proud of it. 



j(MiN JUJLI, cSi c:(). 97 

I went up to him. 

" Allow me," I said, " to thank you for what you have 
clone for France. You wished to choose five of the 
greatest dramatic poets of the world, and you have 
given a place to two French ones." 

" How do you make that out ? " he responded. 
" Shakespeare is English, Dante Italian, Milton Eng- 
lish, Moliar French, and CornJiill Spanish. That makes 
only one Frenchman." 

I kept my countenance. Did not the Cid make con- 
quests after his death? He had perhaps acquired Cor- 
neille for Spain in this little African town. 

" I think you are wrong," I ventured timidly, " if I 
maybe so bold as to advance an opinion after yours." 

"Oh," said he, ''you may be mistaken, like other 
people." 

" Certainly ; but that which gives a little weight to my 
opinion is that I was born a few miles from Corneille's 
native town." 

The proprietor of the Lyric Hall said no more, and went 
away. That evening, after the lecture, he came to me. 

"You are right," he said; " C<?r;//«7/ was not Spanish, 
he was French. I went to the public library, and I 
found that Coruhill wd.s born at Roiling 

"At Rouen ; if you will excuse my pronunciation." 

" Well," he said, " that is very annoying, for now I 
must take out his name from my list." 

" Oh, do not do that !" I cried. 

" I must," he replied, with a sad shake of the head. 

"Why?" 

"Why? Why, I wish to be impartial and fair to all 
the nations." 



98 JOHN BULL & CO. 

" You are right, and I have no more to say." 

It was difficult to keep serious ; but I am proud of 
the look of submission with which I accepted the sup- 
pression of Corneille. 

" And now," said the owner of the Lyric Hall, " I 
must find another name to replace Cornhiirs. Have 
you any to suggest ? A German, for instance. Has 
Germany produced any poet fit to figure on my 
list?" 

I was on the point of suggesting that Germany would 
be worthily represented by Goethe. " Nonsense !" I said 
to myself. " Why should I render this service to Ger- 
many? No Goethe, no Schiller, no German." 

" If I were you," I said, " I would put a Greek. What 
would you say to Sophocles ? " 

" Is he good ? " 

" He was. He wrote a few good things." 

" Is he dead ? " 

" Yes, he died about two thousand three hundred 
years ago." 

" Then he's one of the ancients ? " 

" Quite antique." 

" You guarantee he is good ? " 

" Yes, as long as the world lasts." 

The questioner thanked me, shook hands, and went 
away. 

If ever you go to the little town of B. you will see 
on the left-hand side of the scene, in the Lyric Hall, 
under the inscription Drama, the five following names : 
Sophocles, Shakespeare, Dante, Milton, and Moliere. 

It was I, too, who caused the grave accent to be put 
over the name of the great French poet. If I did not 



JOHN BULL & CO. 99 

succeed in keeping the name of Corneille, at any rate 
I was able to get that of Mohere spelled correctly. 

For a finish, allow me to give you an amusing sample 
of colonial sans gene. 

It was in the coquettish town of Durban (Natal), in 
the month of June, 1893. I was to give a lecture on 
" Her Royal Highness, Woman," one evening, in the 
Theatre Royal. My manager, profiting by the subject 
to do a politeness to the pupils of a large college for 
girls, presented himself in the afternoon at the college, 
and, asking to see the principal, offered to put several 
dress-circle seats at her disposal at half price. As he 
was leaving, he further said, "If you desire that the 
young ladies should be accompanied, I shall be happy 
to admit the governesses as friends," which, in theatri- 
cal parlance, means gratis. 

The principal thanked my manager, and accepted his 
polite offer. 

On the evening of the lecture, there arrived from the 
college fonr pupils and eleven governesses. 

A few days later, having heard that I had related the 
anecdote in public, the lady principal was good enough 
to write and explain the matter. The letter showed 
good taste. My manager, it appeared, had made the 
ofTer too late ; she had not had time to mention the thing 
to her pupils, otherwise she could have sent many more. 

Very good ; but she had had time to mention it to 
the governesses. 

After all, dear madam, let us have no excuses, I beg ; 
first, because I strongly suspect my manager to have 
been actuated by a feeling of business, and not of philan- 
thropy. Philanthropy is scarcely in the manager's line. 



lOO JOHN BULL & CO. 

Besides, dear madam, that is how the British Empire 
was made, as we all know. 

One may say of John Bull, Junior, as of John Bull, 
Senior: 

"Laz'ssez hci prendre un pied dies votes, 
II en aura bientot pris quatre ! " 

— and even eleven. 



CHAPTER X. 

The Curse of the Colonies — A Perfect Gentleman — A Town 
Full of Animation — A Drunkard Begs Me to Give the Au- 
dience a Lecture on Waterloo — A Jolly Fellow — Pater Fam- 
ilias on the Spree — An Ingenious Drunkard — Great Feats 
— Taverns and Teetotalers — Why there are No Cafes in the 
Colonies — A Philosopher — Why a Young English Girl Could 
not get Engaged. 

In Australia drink is the panacea against the dullness 
of existence, and drunkenness in most classes of colonial 
society is an evil that is gnawing at the vitals of the 
country — a national vice. Not the drunkenness that 
begets gaiety, but a dull and deadly habit which has 
become second nature, and is therefore incurable and 
repulsive.* 

I was lunching one day in the club of a large city, 
the members of which belong to the best society of the 
place. A gentleman, still young and of a decidedly 
distinguished appearance, was sitting at a neighboring 
table. When I had finished eating he rose and came 
and sat near me. 

" I have no need of an introduction," he said, "since 
we are both members of the same club. Let me tell 
you how pleased I am to make your acquaintance and to 
shake hands with you. I have been reading the accounts 

* I see by a book of statistics that the sum spent every ten years 
in drink is equal to the sum represented by all the gold, iron and 
coal produced by the country in fifty years. 

lOI 



I02 JOHN BULL & CO. 

of your lectures in the papers, and I regret very much 
not being able to go to hear them." 

" Your occupation, no doubt, takes up all your even- 
ings ? " I suggested. 

"Yes, alas," said he, half sad, half smihng. "To tell 
you the truth, I am drunk every evening from seven 
o'clock." 

Drunkenness of that description is so repulsive to me 
that I forthwith left the dining-room. 

In the smoke-room I recognized a friend and went to 
join him. 

"Who is that individual.''" I asked, indicating my 
interlocutor, who had just come in. 

"Oh," said he, "a charming fellow, very good com- 
pany, one of the foremost merchants of the town." 

" I am sorry to hear it," I replied, and the conversa- 
tion went no further. 

I remember, one night in Sydney, being interrupted 
in the middle of my lecture on the English. At the 
close of the proceedings a man in evening dress pre- 
sented himself in the little green-room behind the plat- 
form. 

" I have come to apologize," he said. " It was I who 
interrupted you. I had misunderstood what you said, 
and I thought I ought to protest." 

"No need to offer excuses, my dear sir," I replied. 
" First of all, I did not in the least know who had inter- 
rupted me, and, moreover, I never take any notice of 
interruptions, which, I must say, are extremely rare." 

"You are quite right. Besides," he added, tapping 
me on the shoulder, " do not bear me ill-will, for, as you 
see, I am as tipsy as Bacchus." 



JOHN BULL & CO. I03 

Indeed he was, and very proud he appeared to be of it. 

He was a captain in the army. 

In the town of X. (Victoria) I had occasion to go and 
see the mayor. I found him tipsy. On leaving his 
presence I went to the office of the town clerk. He was 
tipsy. From there my manager and I went to call upon 
the director of the principal bank. He was tipsy. The 
proprietor of the hotel where I was staying was in bed, 
suffering from delirium tremens. The same night, at 
my lecture, the police had to eject from the front seats 
two individuals who, by their conduct, were preventing 
the audience from following me. One was a prominent 
person in the town, and the other was the worthy repre- 
sentative of the district in Parliament. 

In the afternoon, about five o'clock, I went to the 
club of the town. 

''What are you going to have?" asked some of the 
members of the club who happened to be there. 

"Can I have some tea.^*" 

" Some WHAT ? " cried they, staring in amazement at 
me, as if to ask what kind of stuff I was made of. 

" Some tea," I repeated, smiling. 

" My dear sir, I don't think we keep the article on 
the premises." 

"And if we have it," said another, laughing heartily, 
" I don't believe there is anyone here who knows how 
to make it." 

Several other members dropped in. The thing was 
told as a great joke, and I was surrounded and viewed 
as a curious animal. Stupefaction was stamped on all 
the faces. 

That evening, after my lecture, I returned to the 



104 JOHN BULL & CO. 

club and regained the esteem of my amiable hosts by 
ordering something stronger than tea. I must say, how- 
ever, that very few of them were in a state to discern 
clearly what the glass contained. 

Now see the pendant of this picture, and make your 
own comments. 

The following incident happened in the same inter- 
esting little town of X. 

A few days before my arrival my manager's secretary 
had come to X. to see the posters put up and make the 
necessary preparations for our arrival. He went to the 
bill-poster and gave him the order. 

" Before accepting the work," said the man, " I must 
know whether this Frenchman's lectures are moral, and 
whether there is to be any music. Music, sir, is, like the 
theatre, one of Satan's snares." 

Our agent assured him that there would be no music, 
and that he could stick the bills in all security. 

On the day of the lecture my manager, whom the in- 
cident had greatly amused, offered the man a ticket to 
go and hear me. 

"I should like very much to go," said he, "but I 
could not set foot inside the hall before knowing whether 
my master could go with me." 

" Oh, that is all right," said my manager. " I will give 
you another ticket for your master. What is he called ?" 

" His name is Jesus Christ, sir," replied the bill-poster, 
drawing himself up. 

You may imagine the look of his interlocutor. 

This is the Anglo-Saxon potion that one is obliged to 
swallow in every corner of the globe, and these are the 
people who reproach the French with their gaiety, I 



JOHN BULL & CO. I05 

had almost said their happiness, and who in the way 
of distractions have, as Sydney Smith says, discovered 
only two things, vice and religion. 

Occasionally the colonial drunkard strikes a very 
comic note. 

I shall never forget the one in Bendigo, who, installed 
in one of the foremost seats, shouted at me from his 
place : 

" Leave John Bull alone, you beggar, and give us a 
lecture on Waterloo ! " 

As the subject announced for that night's talk was 
not Waterloo, and one must never change one's subject 
without giving due notice to the public, it was out of 
my power to oblige this comical drunkard. But, as he 
insisted, and the persuasion of his neighbors had not 
a quieting effect upon him, it became necessary to get 
a policeman. He allowed himself to be led ofT without 
resistance. However, when about half way to the door, 
he wheeled round toward the audience, and shouted : 

"I tell you the man's a fool. He calls himself a 
Frenchman, and he can't give us a lecture on Waterloo. 
He'll make no money in Australia, take my word for it." 

So saying, he was led out amid the frantic applause 
of the audience, who had seized the humor of the situa- 
tion. 

And here a striking contrast may be noted. When a 
Frenchman is drunk, he is generally socialistic, anarchi- 
cal, revolutionary, and he raves at the top of his voice, 
" Down with all tyrants ! " When the Englishman is in 
his cups he grows conservative and jingoistic. He will 
call up the nations to single combat, and if Mr. Glad- 



I06 JOHN BULL & CO. 

stone were to fall into his hands he would make short 
work of him. " VVa'arloo " seems to be still the watch- 
word of quarrelsome Anglo-Saxon drunkards. 

Drunkenness does not make the Australian ashamed, 
no matter to what grade of society he belongs. 

I have seen men, scarcely able to stand upon their 
legs, enter a theatre or a concert-room with their wives 
and daughters. Some were noisy, and annoyed their 
neighbors ; others went to sleep and were comparative- 
ly inoffensive. 

In a very well-appointed house I heard a man at 
table, in the presence of his wife and children, laugh- 
ingly relate how he had been led home from his club 
the preceding night by two friends, and put to bed with 
the greatest difficulty. His wife tried to smile at the 
description, and the young girls pretended not to be 
listening. 

In a town in New South Wales, a notabiUty of the 
district tried to insist on preceding me on the platform, 
in order to make a speech and present me to the audi- 
ence. He was perfectly drunk, and I had the greatest 
trouble to get him to go away. 

In France, a man who finds himself overcome by 
drink hides himself. In the Colonies he parades his 
state, and does not mind showing himself in public with 
his family. If he proves too noisy, his wife takes him 
home, to save the policeman the trouble. And when 
his club-mates see him depart, they merely say to them- 
selves : 

" Poor old Dick ! he has had a drop too much ! Good 
fellow, Dick ! fond of his glass — a jolly good fellow, 
capital fellow ! " 



JOHN BULL & CO. 107 

Not only does the drunkard think himself fit to go to 
entertainments, but he thinks himself fit to entertain. 

I was once invited to supper by a rich squatter, whom 
a policeman had been obliged to remove from the the- 
atre in the middle of my lecture. On getting to the 
hotel, this "jolly fellow" had taken a short nap, and, 
feeling a little sobered, sent word, when he heard that 
I had returned from the theatre, to say that he and his 
wife would be delighted if I would sup with them in 
their apartment. We were in the same hotel. The in- 
cident was droll, and the situation rather piquant ; I 
accepted. He confided to me that he had driven fifty 
miles to come to the lecture, and he overpowered me 
with compliments, punctuated with tipsy hiccoughs. I 
believe he even had the audacity to tell me how much 
the lecture had interested and amused him. 

He appeared to have clean forgotten the little scene 
in which he had played a leading role at the theatre. 
But his wife could certainly not have forgotten it, yet 
she was there at supper, unconcerned, letting him 
maunder and drivel, and dishonor himself. We drank 
champagne at supper, and in less than an hour my 
host was sleeping heavily in an armchair. Not an at- 
tempt at excuses on the part of his wife, who seemed 
to look upon the situation as quite natural, and, for 
that matter, had probably seen many similar ones. 

Next morning, Sunday, at eleven o'clock, I saw the 
squatter and his wife on their way to church, doubtless 
to pray and sing hymns in Protestant fashion. 

At five, that afternoon, my late host was dead 
drunk. 

I have seen in the hotels of small towns, young men, 



I08 JOHN BULL & CO. 

sons of well-to-do squatters, come in from the stations 
around to shake off the dullness of the Bush and amuse 
themselves in the town. But what amusements could 
they expect to find ? Intellectual or artistic ones, none. 
They fell back on whiskey, and went in for a bout of 
drinking, installed themselves at the hotel, and for days 
together were hardly an hour sober. 

It is not uncommon in Australia to see a young man 
arrive in a town, hand over a cheque for fifty or sixty 
pounds to the keeper of some hotel, saying to him : 

" Let me have as much drink as I want. When I 
have drunk my cheque, let me know, and I will go 
home." 

At Grafton, a few leagues from the tropics, I saw an 
old farmer, eighty-four years of age, who had come into 
the town to pass a few days at the hotel and be drunk 
from morning to night. His wife had come with him 
to put him to bed when necessary, and apply something 
cool to his head. 

Drunkenness in cold climates is comprehensible, 
while reprehensible ; it has a pretext ; but in hot cli- 
mates, in the tropics almost, cnmii — the absence of so- 
cial, artistic, or intellectual distractions — that is the only 
possible explanation. 

I have seen still better than all this. I saw with my 
own eyes the following scene : 

An individual of about forty, well dressed, with 
drawn face, haggard eyes, and the sad and sinister ex- 
pression of a Chinaman in an opium den, presented 
himself at nine in the morning at the private bar of the 
hotel which I had put up at in a town on the banks of 
the Clarence River. He lays down sixpence, and is 



JOHN BULL & CO. 109 

served with a glass of whiskey. He adds a Httle 
water, with a shaking hand carries it to his Hps, and at 
one draft swallows the contents. Then silent, and with- 
out lifting his dull, staring eyes from the ground, he 
goes away. At the expiration of half an hour, he re- 
turns and the operation is repeated. Half an hour later 
he returns again. The hand trembles more and more 
and seems to refuse to lend itself any longer to the 
task. The hotel-keeper, who had seen me watch the 
scene, said : 

" In the intervals he goes to another hotel and gets 
drink. If you have nothing particular to do, remain 
where you are and you will see something that will re- 
pay you for your trouble." 

At about half-past twelve, the poor wretch appeared 
at the bar for the seventh time. The sixpence is 
planked down ; the glass is filled. The hand goes to the 
glass, but has no longer power to take it. After many 
efforts, however, the glass is grasped, but the drink can- 
not be conveyed to the mouth. The drunkard darts a 
furtive glance to right and left. No one is looking. 
He draws a long silk handkerchief from his pocket, and 
passes it around his neck. With his two hands he holds 
the two extremities. In his right hand he grasps the 
glass, and, drawing the end which is in his left hand, the 
ingenious drunkard makes a pulley of the handkerchief, 
and thus succeeds in conveying the whiskey to his lips. 
He puts down the glass, drags himself to the door, and 
edging along by the walls, he finds his way home to get 
a few hours' repose. 

** This thing has been going on for three years," said 
the landlord, " but the pulley trick he only took up a 



no JOHN BULL & CO. 

month ago ; it is the last stage. Soon he will no longer 
be able to swallow, and dclirmvi tremens will carry him 
off." 

"Well," I replied, '' bon voyage ! Good riddance!" 

I think that is the most repulsive sight that I have 
seen in all my travels ; the look in that man's face will 
never be effaced from my memory. 

Perhaps you will ask at what age the young man of 
the Colonies begins to get drunk. 

On board the boat which brought me from Africa to 
Europe we had a young man of nineteen, who was help- 
lessly drunk every night from seven o'clock. 

After fourteen days' steaming we arrived at Madeira, 
where we all went ashore. Do you think the young sot 
made use of the seven or eight hours that the steamer 
stopped, to explore every corner of the curious, pictur- 
esque old town ? Do you think he took a drive to the 
convent, from whence a really charming view is to be 
had ? No, he went direct to a low tavern, and had to 
be led, or rather carried back to the ship like a pig, if I 
may use such an expression without too greatly insult- 
ing the porcine race. 

After the scenes described above, I beg the reader to 
spare me the 'task of recounting the drunken scenes I 
might give him, taken from the lower classes. 

In many a community in the far West, labor is made 
compulsory, and the drunkard who does not correct 
himself after being warned, is ignominiously driven 
from the town by his neighbors. 

The small centres of population in America do not 
offer more distractions than the townships of Australia, 
and yet I have paid three long visits to the United 



JOHN BULL &■ CO. Ill 

States without seeing any drunkenness unless it be in 
the large cities. 

Australia is suffering from two scourges — ^drink and 
teetotalism. The first brutalizes, the second effeminates. 
It is curious that the Anglo-Saxon only goes in for ex- 
tremes, and has no moderation. 

Because wine intoxicates, total abstinence societies 
suppress wine. Why not man ? 

But, as the good Chinese proverb has it, it is not wine 
that makes drunk, but vice. Suppress vice, but not 
wine. 

Unhappily, the excellent colonial wines made in Aus- 
tralia and South Africa are not within the reach of the 
bulk of the people. Picture to yourself a wine-growing 
country where it is impossible to procure a bottle of 
wine that is grown on the spot for less than three or 
four shillings — nay, in many places seven or eight. 
The consequence is, that with the exception of the 
large hotels in the big cities, you never see a dining- 
room where wine is drunk. The bulk of the people 
drink tea, which destroys their stomach, and whiskey, 
which destroys the rest. Weak wine and water, that 
healthful and refreshing drink of the French lower and 
middle classes, is unknown. It seems as if Anglo-Saxon 
throats demanded something that burns or rasps. 

I said one day to a Melbourne friend : " How is it 
that here, in this genial climate, where the people should 
spend half their leisure time out of doors, you have 
gone in for public-houses, those ignoble English dens 
in which people must take their drink standing, and in 
a disgusting atmosphere reeking of alcohol and tobacco 
smoke ? Why, in the parks and great thoroughfares of 



112 JOHN BULL & CO. 

the town, did you not have pretty cafes as we have on 
the Continent in Europe, places where you can quietly 
quench your thirst, and where you may allow yourself 
the luxury of taking your wife or daughter?" 

Why not? Of course I know why not. Because, in the 
open-air cafes people are seen, whereas in public-houses 
people are hidden from view. The reason that he gave 
me is much less flattering for the Anglo-Saxon race 
than mine is. 

" My dear sir," he said to me, " if you only consider 
the drunkenness that already exists (and which, unhap- 
pily, you do not at all exaggerate), although men are 
obliged to take their drink standing, just imagine what 
it would be if they could take it sitting at their ease." 

Yet this is that same Anglo-Saxon race which per- 
fectly deafens us Avith the sound of its own praises, and 
declares that its greatest virtue is self-control. Curious 
race, that can do nothing moderately, and which sees 
no other means for suppressing drunkenness than that 
of keeping the people without decent drinking places, 
and trying to force them to drink only water ! 

Two little reminiscences to finish with. 

Every one knows that in the Colonies, as in America, 
there have been great rushes to certain localities in the 
hope of finding gold, silver, or some other ore. A mere 
rumor has often caused rushes of this kind. In hot haste 
tents, huts and houses were put up. The feverish crowd 
sought for ore ; they found it for awhile ; then the vein 
disappeared, and so, gradually, did they also, leaving be- 
hind a few poor wretches who had no means of getting 
away. 



JOHN BULL & CO. II3 

The coach I was one day travehng in drew up by the 
way at a hotel in one of these forsaken towns to allow 
the passengers to ta.ke food. Around and about that 
hotel the most complete desolation reigned. 

" How do you manage to make a living here } " I 
asked the proprietor of the house. " The place seems to 
be no longer inhabited." 

" Well, I have the passengers of the coach three times 
a week, and the handful of people who were not able 
to get away when the stampede took place, come 
to me." 

"But what do they do in this God -forsaken des- 
ert ? " 

" Oh, they drink, and that keeps me going." 

T/i^y drink, and that keeps me going ! Wha^" pathos, 
what tragedy in those few words ! 

We had, on board a boat by which I traveled, a rich 
Englishman who passes most of his life at sea. Did he 
travel for his own pleasure or for the tranquillity of his 
family ? Traveling on the ocean is one way of passing 
the time, and English people often have funny ideas of 
enjoyment. They take their pleasures sadly. I really 
think, however, that this man's presence on board must 
have seriously contributed to the comfort of several 
people on land. 

From nine o'clock each morning he was drunk, and 
never, during the whole voyage of nineteen days, did I 
for one moment see him in a state to converse, much 
less discuss anything with anyone on board. 

This drunkard was accompanied by his daughter, a 
giddy girl, who yet appeared to be fond of her father, 
and lavished pretty attentions on him. The rest of her 



114 JOHN BULL & CO. 

time was filled up with flirtations with one of the young 
men on board. At the end of ten days the flirtation 
took a serious turn, and the young couple announced 
themselves engaged. 

It was the ninth time the young girl had made the 
trip with her father, and I think it was also the ninth 
time that she had been engaged. In England this kind 
of thing is tolerated ; nay, better than that, there a/e 
Englishmen who only love a woman when they know 
that she has been loved by others. I know one who is 
very proud to say, " My wife was engaged, first and last, 
to half the young men of the town, but it was I who 
carried the day after all, and married her." 

On board ship one quickly makes acquaintance ; fa- 
miliarity begins to reign when you have been a day on 
the ocean, gossiping starts, and everyone knows all 
about ever}'one else. 

One fine morning the young girl in question came to 
sit near me on deck and said, laughing heartily as if she 
were only telling a good joke : 

" I have got engaged to Mr. N." 

" I congratulate you with all my heart," I rejoined, 
with anything but a serious look. 

" There is only one obstacle to surmount," said she, 
" and that is the getting my father's consent." 

" Oh," I exclaimed, " you are afraid he will refuse ? " 

" Oh, not at all ; it is not that, but for the consent to 
have any value, I must try and obtain it when he — " 

" When papa is responsible for his words," I put in 
quickly, so as to spare the poor girl the annoyance of 
having to finish the sentence. 

" That is just the difificulty," she said, sighing. 



JOHN BULL & CO. II5 

The poor young girl arrived at port without having 
been able to surmount the difficulty. Her father was 
drunk when he embarked, and, constant in his affections, 
he was drunk when he landed. 



CHAPTER XI. 

Types — Caprices of Nature — Men and Women — Precocious 
Children — Prehistoric Dress — Timidity of the Women — I 
Shock Some Tasmanian Ladies — Anglo-Saxon Contrasts. 

Let us take a glance at the strange types and freaks 
of nature that one meets with in the Colonies, and see 
what a topsy-turvy world it is. 

The kangaroo springs by means of its two hind legs, 
and supports itself on its tail, which serves as a helm. 
There are Australian animals that fiy without having any 
wings, and the Australian swan is black. Trees change 
their bark every year, while their leaves change not. 
You find in this curious country pears with their eatable 
part encased in a hard wooden rind, cherries Avith the 
stone outside, and trees with their flowers and seeds 
growing in the leaves. Other trees there are, the poli- 
tician being the chief, which flower superbly and give 
great promise of fair fruit, but when fruiting time comes 
yield mostly husks. 

In South Africa, too, there are strange phenomena to 
be seen. Water is found on the summits of the hills in- 
stead of in the valleys. It is in the valleys that you feel 
the cold ; on the mountains you feel the heat. If you 
are cold at night open the window ; if you are too hot 
by day, close it. Last, but not least, all the nursemaids 
are boys. 

There are giants in //icsc days — if you go to Austra- 
lia 



JOHN BULL & CO. llj 

lia for them. At a banquet given by the Mayor of 
Sydney, I found myself seated between Sir George 
Dibbs, Premier of New South Wales, and Sir Joseph 
Abbot, the Speaker of the Legislative Assembly. When 
these men rose to reply to the toast of their health, the 
first uplifted six feet three inches of manhood and the 
second six feet four. Both are products of the soil, 
superb-looking men, giants in build. I met with a num- 
ber of others like them. 

The children are early developed. I saw in all the 
colonies, young girls of twelve and thirteen developed 
like women of twenty, and showing sturdy calves as they 
marched with straight and independent tread. 

In Melbourne, Sidney, Adelaide and all the places 
close to the sea, I saw beautiful women, clear-complex- 
ioned and admirably formed, looking fresh and vigor- 
ous. But when you go north and penetrate into the in- 
terior, you find many of the faces looking yellow and 
dry' as parchment. And how could it be expected that 
the freshness and color of youth would remain on the 
face of a women when the heat and the drought are 
such that the paint will not remain on the face of a 
house ? Under this burning sun, in this atmosphere 
that is a stranger to humidity, the white skin turns brown 
in no time. The neck and forehead get wrinkled. Add 
to this eyes that express the weariness and dreariness of 
life in the interior, a mouth that rarely laughs and that 
has a droop at the corners. The English are not at any 
time a gay-looking people, and it is not the monotonous 
existence of the Bush that would be likely to enliven 
them very much. 

The men are not picturesque in this unpicturesque 



Il8 JOHN BULL & CO. 

country. In the south of France, in Italy, in Spain, in 
Algeria, you may at every turn meet with a head worthy 
to pose in an artist's studio, though belonging to a man 
selling wares across the counter of a little shop, and 
many more that would grace the operatic stage. In 
England and the Colonies you miss all that ; the types 
are manufactured by the gross. The Bushman wears 
close-cut hair, moustaches, and short whiskers, lets his 
arms hang, or carries his hands in his pockets, while he 
swings nonchalantly and slowly along the road, a wea- 
ried look on his face, his tall frame generally thin and 
often slightly bent. It takes him ten minutes to fill his 
pipe. He begins by drawing from his pocket a cake of 
tobacco. Next he takes his knife and slowly cuts the 
tobacco into thin shavings. This done, he puts knife 
and cake of tobacco back into his pocket, and rolls the 
tobacco between his hands for at least five minutes. 
Time is no object to him. When the tobacco is almost 
reduced to powder, he takes his pipe, fills it and puts it 
in his mouth. Then he sets to work to find a match in 
his pockets. It is generally in the last. By the time 
the pipe is lit, the operation has lasted ten minutes. 

In little out-of-the-way towns, as yet unconnected 
with the great cities of the Colonies by railway com- 
munication, strange types are to be met with : women of 
fifty with their hair in curls, such as the daughters of 
Albion affected about sixty years ago, with large- 
brimmed mushroom hats, crinolines and polonaises, walk- 
ing with modestly lowered eyes, speaking with subdued 
voice, and almost ashamed of having spoken at all. 

A traveler one day in my hearing asked a lady of 
about fifty years of age, who, like myself, was staying 



JOHN BULL & CO. I IQ 

in the hotel of a Httle town in tlie Bush, if she intended 
to go and hear me in the Town Hall that evening. 

" I should very much like to," she replied, "but I do 
not know any gentleman who could take me." 

She dared not venture alone. 

I was one day talking with several Tasmanian ladies 
in the drawing-room of an hotel in Launceston. Tas- 
mania is perhaps the most rococo of all the Colonies, but, 
thanks to the temperate climate, its women are remark- 
able for their beauty and freshness. Life in France 
formed the subject of the conversation, and speaking of 
my own native town I had occasion to say that, among 
my friends, there was an old lady, now deceased, whose 
granddaughter was a grandmother. On the last New 
Year's Day she spent on earth, there were five genera- 
tions of the family at her table. " And," I added, " if 
my old friend had only been able to retard her death by 
three months, she would have seen the sixth." 

Thereupon all the eyes were lowered, a good many 
blushes arose, and I verily believe that two or three 
ladies tried to hide under the table. I had evidently 
created a panic. Great heavens ! what could I have said 
to cause it ? Later in the evening, the eldest of the 
party summoned courage enough to come and confess to 
me that she thought I had been a little too free in my 
speech. 

" Oh ! how ? " I exclaimed. " I am eager to know." 

" You are forgiven : of course we know you are French 
and you had no intention of shocking us." 

" But what did I say ? To save my life, I cannot rec- 
ollect anything that could give the slightest offence." 

** Well," said .she, lowering her voice, '' you made us 



I20 JOHN BULL & CO. 

all understand that at the time your old friend died, the 
young woman belonging to the fifth generation was en- 
ceinte. '' 

Shocking ! 

Is it possible that this is a people who have chosen 
for their device Honi soit qui mal y pense ? 

The device of the Anglo-Saxon race ought to be Quoi 
que til entejtdras, toujour s mal y penseras. 

A race made up of the most extraordinary contrasts : 
a people that can pray and swear in one breath ; that 
devotes its Sabbaths to the spiritual and the spirituous — 
the church service and the hideous orgie of the tavern. 

In most of the colonial museums the statues which 
serve as models for the students are nude ; but when 
the hour for opening the museum to the public arrives, 
the superintendent takes from a cupboard a few fig 
leaves of ample dimensions, by means of which he veils 
the too startling nudities. As if a statue could be an 
object of scandal ! On the other hand, men perfectly 
naked are to be seen bathing in the rivers, and neither 
the police nor the public seem to be shocked at it. In 
stations and hotels you will see the walls of certain places 
covered with inscriptions in pencil, such as, " God loves 
you," " God waits for you," beside nameless indecen- 
cies accompanied by illustrations that would sicken the 
soul of our lowest rough. 

In your hotel you find on the wall an illuminated card 
bearing the words, " I will lay me down in peace and 
take my rest, for it is thou. Lord, only that makest me 
to dwell in safety." Near it, another card bearing the 
most practical advice, " The proprietor does not hold 
himself responsible for the loss of valuables left in the 



JOHN BULL & CO. 121 

bedrooms, and requests visitors to lock and bolt their 
doors at night." 

In the bedroom of a rich and distinguished English- 
man I saw over the mantelpiece three pictures : the 
first was a pretty reproduction of Holman Hunt's beau- 
tiful j^icture, "The Light of the World," Christ knock- 
ing at the sinner's door, with a lantern in his hand ; 
on either side of this picture of Christ hung a music- 
hall beauty in tights, and very dc'collcte'e. It was not 
Christ between two larrons, but between two bironncs. 

An Australian, with whom I was one day talking on 
matters theological, wanted to quote a text from the 
Bible, which should enlighten the subject for me. He 
ransacked his memory in vain ; he could not remember 

the verse. " How is it that I cannot recollect that 

text ? " exclaimed my theologian. 

In another line one finds much the same contrasts in 
Italy. A workman who enters a wine-shop addresses 
the keeper of it as Signor Padrone^ and his waiter as 
Signor Prinw ; but if one or the other of them should 
take it upon them to contradict him on any point, this 
same workman begins such a volley of abuse as would 
make the bravest navvy quake in his shoes. 



CHAPTER XII. 

The Bush — The Eucalyptus — The Qimate — Description of the 
Bush and its Inhabitants — The Concert of the Bush — The 
Tragedians and the Clowns of the Company — The Kangaroo 
— The Workers and the Idlers of the Bush — Beggars on 
Horseback. 

Australia is a vast eucalyptus forest, with a super- 
ficial area about equal to that of Europe. Setting aside 
Queensland, where the vegetation is tropical, the euca- 
lyptus is really the only tree that grows in these regions. 
In certain parts it attains a prodigious height. I have 
seen some four hundred feet high, and I measured sev- 
eral that had a circumference equal to that of the fa- 
mous giants of California. The eucalyptus leaves possess 
therapeutic properties, which science is engaged in uti- 
lizing, and which make Australia one of the most healthy 
countries of the world. To cure a cold or to keep off 
mosquitoes it is invaluable. As a disinfectant it is with- 
out rival, and every one knows how the marshy parts of 
south Italy have been made healthy by the introduc- 
tion of this beneficent tree. There are three kinds of 
eucalyptus, or gum-tree, found in Australia, commonly 
called the red, the blue, and the white gum. The red, 
gum is very hard, and is used for house-building and 
furniture, and for railway sleepers. The white gum is 
soft, and serves for little except firewood and fences. 

From the beginning of April to the end of October 

122 



JOHN BULL & CO. I23 

Australia enjoys a magnificent climate, but in January, 
February, and March the heat is suffocating. The 
thermometer varies between ninety and one hundred 
and twenty in the shade, and when the northwest wind 
blows the atmosphere becomes so frightfully hot that if 
you were to pass out of it into the infernal regions you 
would need to take your overcoat with you. 

But what a weird, sad-looking landscape ! No bright 
colors. All is dull and sombre, everything seems to be 
drooping and mourning. The verdure of the soil and 
of the trees is more gray than green, without any in- 
tensity of color, and it never changes in appearance. 

The eucalyptus is not a handsome tree. The leaves, 
which are long and drooping, half close during the day, 
and give no shade ; the trunk peels every year, and the 
bark hangs down its sides in strips. The numerous 
branches writhe in despair in all directions. You feel a 
sentiment of sadness penetrate you at the sight of this 
vegetation, to which nature has been so niggardly. 

Here and there, about the far-stretching landscape, 
the gum-trees have been burned, or killed by means of 
an incision around the base of the trunk, and the skele- 
tons are there as in a cemetery, where,, on each tomb, 
you might behold a phantom stretching out a hundred 
gnarled arms. It is the most lugubrious scene possible. 
Further on, you come to a clearing, where a thousand 
gum-trees, gray and dead, appear to be writhing on the 
ground, and suggest the most fantastic shapes to the 
mind — twisted serpents, crocodiles lying in wait, gigantic 
spiders, all sorts of obnoxious creatures on an ante- 
diluvian scale. 

A little further on the Bush is on fire. Civilized man 



124 JOHN BULL & CO. 

is preparing to clear his piece of land. In a few years 
a prosperous town may have arisen there. For the pres- 
ent it is a scene from the Inferno. 

With what pleasure you come to a valley, at the bot- 
tom of which runs a little rivulet, and where the grace- 
ful fronds of the tree ferns surmount warm, brown, scaly 
trunks of from seven to twelve feet high. The great 
fronds of two years back hang down round the trunk in 
golden-brown beauty, while last year's growth forms a 
dark green umbrella above them. At the summit, 
rising straight in fresh new green, are the fronds of the 
year. Australia, so poor in trees, is rich in flowering 
shrubs, and in the spring the grand crimson blooms of 
the waratah, and the graceful, golden branches of the 
wattle do their best to light up and put a little gaiety 
into this scene of terrible solitude. 

And how describe that profound, that solemn silence ? 
I have been told that the Bushman almost loses the fac- 
ulty of speech in many instances, and it was not at all 
unusual to hear of shepherds having gone out of their 
minds. When one thinks of the life these men led — ■ 
there are fewer employed now — it is not wonderful to 
hear that their brains gave way occasionally. Miles from 
any town, unvisited by any human creature save the 
man who brought him rations from month to month, and 
whom he missed seeing if he happened not to be in his 
hut when they were brought, the shepherd was alone in 
the solemnity of the Bush, his only living companions 
the thousands of meek sheep and the faithful dog. The 
cracked scream of the cockatoo and the heartrending 
note of the crow the only sounds he heard by day ; the 
creepy cry of the morepork and the hoarse croak of the 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1 25 

frog the only good-night that ever greeted his ears as 
he went to rest. 

The pall-Hke silence of the Bush seems to have fallen 
on even the animals. One never hears the cattle low, 
and a handful of English sheep being driven to a fresh 
pasture will make more noise than thousands of Austra- 
lian ones. You meet them in droves of several thou- 
sands, you drive your buggy through the crowd, but you 
seldom hear a bleat. 

However, if you want noise, fire a shot into the trees, 
and you may chance to disturb a colony of sulphur- 
crested cockatoos who will raise such a hubbub as will 
make you instinctively put up your hands to stop your 
ears. A few moments, and silence reigns once more. 

The birds seem to do their best to add to the sadness 
of the scene. The crow's note is like the cry of a lost 
soul, a long-drawn, quavering utterance full of anguish. 
The curlew's shrill and plaintive cry might almost be 
that of a dying child ; but if you want to hear a sound 
that will sadden your very soul, listen to the morepork 
at night. Even the liquid and musical babble of the 
magpies has a tinge of sadness. 

Alone, the laughing jackass reminds you that one 
may find gaiety everywhere, even in the Bush. He 
laughs consumedly, and his Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, ha-ha-ha-ha 
is comic in the highest degree. When you hear him 
laugh, you want to laugh with him. This smallish, 
thick-set bird has a head almost as large as his body, 
and a formidable beak with which he attacks and de- 
stroys snakes, so it is not surprising to find that he is 
held sacred by the law of the Colonies, which forbids 
you to shoot him. 



126 JOHN BULL & CO. 

Justice must be rendered to the frogs that swarm in 
the Austrahan marshes, and add their incontestable 
talent to the concert of the Bush. Some play the 
raquette with immense spirit and gaiety ; others twang 
the banjo like the cleverest dilettante of Carolina or 
Florida. 

With the exception of the snakes, which swarm, the 
centipedes, whose bite necessitates the amputation of 
the bitten member, and a score of other poisonous in- 
sects, the Australian Bush contains no savage creatures, 
none even dangerous. 

The kangaroo, the wallaby, the opossum, the chief 
denizens of the Bush, are all animals with the soft gaze 
of a gazelle, and perfectly inoffensive ; even the little 
bear of the country, if you take up your gun to shoot 
it, sits staring up at you, and seems to say, " I have 
done you no harm : why do you aim that wicked thing 
at me ? " 

The wild duck, the hare, the magpie, the paroquet, 
the love-bird, all these you will find in great numbers 
in the Bush, besides a host of superbly plumaged birds, 
among which the lyre-bird, with its tail-feathers forming 
a perfect lyre-shape, stands preeminent. Besides these, 
there is a creature impossible to overlook — the hated 
rabbit, pursued and dreaded more than a wild beast by 
the Australians, whose pastures he devours. In Europe, 
if you killed a rabbit without permission, you would lay 
yourself open to a fine ; in Australia, if you aimed at a 
rabbit and missed it, I believe you would be hanged with- 
out a preliminary trial. The hatred is not to be won- 
dered at, for the rabbits make such ravages that squat- 
ters go to the expense of putting wire fences all round 



JOHN BULL & CO. 12/ 

their immense stations to keep them out. The rabbit 
race never could have dreamt that it would one day- 
acquire such tremendous importance. More than once 
the "rabbit question" has occupied the attention of the 
Parliaments of the different Australasian colonies. The 
authorities were even for a long while in communication 
with M. Pasteur, seeking to obtain a virus which might 
be the means of exterminating the race.* 

The most notable Australian creatures are the kan- 
garoo among the quadrupeds, and the emu among the 
bipeds ; the latter is a bird much resembling the 
ostrich, but is smaller and more thick-set. That gigan- 
tic bird, the moa, which was a denizen of the Austra- 
lasian Bush, can now only be seen in skeleton form in 
New Zealand museums. Some of them measure six- 
teen feet in height. 

The kangaroo and the emu are still plentiful, but one 
has to penetrate pretty far into the Bush before one 
meets with either. 

The kangaroo is as mild as a lamb, and never attacks ; 
but when hunted and set upon by dogs, he can defend 
himself very intelligently. He runs to a spot where he 
knows there is water. When a dog is too close on him, 
and he feels there will not be time to find a place of 
shelter, he goes into the water and waits. The dog fol- 
lows, and when he is within reach the kangaroo seizes 
his paws with his own long hind ones, pulls him under 
water, sits at his ease, and, by means of his short fore- 
paws holds the dog down until death completes the 
process. It is, as you see, very artistically done. 

* A couple of rabbits will, at the end of ten years, have produced 
a family reaching to the fabulous number of 70,000,000. 



128 JOHN BULL & CO. 

If the Australian Bush is melancholy, neither are the 
figures one meets in its solitudes very gay. The shep- 
herd, or boundary rider, as he is called, is the most im- 
portant of these, and he is not unpicturesque as he sits 
loosely on horseback, with limply hanging reins, and 
wearing a large soft hat, generally inclined over his 
eyes, to shade them from the brilliant sunshine. His 
business is to inspect the fences and barriers of a sta- 
tion, and so his days are passed in solitary riding. He 
— in fact every Bushman — is a splendid rider, although 
he may not look smart in the saddle. Australian horses 
are only half broken, and there are hundreds of them 
that would put the antics of Buffalo Bill's buck-jumpers 
into the shade. 

A sad-looking figure is the " sundowner " who, as 
his name implies, turns up at sundown and claims the 
hospitality of the squatter. He is supplied with rations 
and a shelter for the night. Next morning he goes on 
his way, if there is no work for him, and directs his 
steps toward some neighboring station, where he will 
meet with the same kindness. He is always on the 
move. Sometimes there is work which he can do, and 
he stops to earn a few shillings ; but more often he is 
not wanted, and he tramps through the Bush, forgotten, 
lost, in its immense solitudes. On his back are all his 
goods and chattels : a blue blanket, and a tin can called 
a billy, which, with his pipe, generally form his whole 
impedinienta. 

As spring advances you meet the more lively figure 
of the shearer with his two horses, one to carry him, 
another to carry his baggage. He is seldom alone, but 
rides in companies of three or four. This man is in 



JOHN BULL & CO. 129 

comparatively affluent circumstances, since he can earn 
from one to two pounds a day. The squatter pays a 
pound for the shearing of each hundred sheep, and 
there are some shearers so clever at the work that they 
can shear two hundred a day. When you meet him he 
is on his way to some station where he has been en- 
gaged for the shearing, and he has perhaps twenty or 
thirty pounds in his pocket. You think, perhaps, that 
he is going to carry that money to the bank, so as to 
be able one day to buy a little land and do some farm- 
ing on his own account. Do not be so sure of it ; as 
likely as not, he will take it to some public-house that 
he finds on his road, and there he will stay until all the 
money has gone down his throat. The tavern-keeper 
is on the look-out for him, and it is he who will be the 
richer for the man's labor. The shearer, finding his 
pockets empty, wonders how it is he has no money, and 
makes up his mind to strike for higher pay next season. 

Another figure you will meet, and he, too, is on horse- 
back — always on horseback or driving — is the minister. 
The good man is going to some squatter's station to 
pray with the family, who are too far removed from the 
nearest town to come often to service in church or 
chapel. He wears a moustache and rabbit-paw whiskers 
in the Australian fashion, and he is white with dust from 
head to foot. 

Presently it is the doctor you pass, who is perhaps 
going on a fifty or sixty mile journey through the Bush 
to attend an urgent case. 

Here is the wife of some ordinary farmer. She is 
returning from the town, where she has been making 
purchases. She is on horseback, but in ordinary walk- 



I30 JOHN BULL & CO. 

ing dress. Her packages are strapped to the saddle. 
With her left hand she holds the reins, while with the 
right she holds a sunshade or umbrella to shelter her 
from sun or rain. 

Everyone you chance to meet in the Bush salutes 
you, not by inclining the head in the ordinary way, but 
by a side movement, without any smile or gesture, of 
the hand. 

Everyone rides in Australia — the shop-boy, the post- 
man, the telegraph boy, the lamp-lighter, the beggar 
even. 

I remember having been accosted one day near Mus- 
selbrook, by a man on horseback who asked for alms. 

" Docs that horse belong to you ? " I said to him. 

" Certainly," he replied. " Why not ? " 

"I have nothing to say against it," I rejoined, " only 
I envy you, that is all. I should like to be rich enough 
to keep a horse of my own. like you." 

It is true that you can get a horse in the Colonies for 
a pound or two, and I saw some, not at all bad ones, 
that had been obtained for a few shillings. 



CHAPTER XIIL 

The Most Piquant Thing in Australia — Aspect of the Small 
Towns — Each Takes his Pleasure where he Finds it — Aus- 
tralian Life — Tea, Always Tea — Whiskey or Water — Favor- 
ite Occupation— Seven Meals a Day — Squatters. 

Australia may be divided into two distinct sections ; 
the great towns, that is to say, the capitals of the four 
principal colonies, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and 
Brisbane, and about a hundred small towns which, in 
my eyes, are the real Australia. In the large towns we 
shall study colonial society ; in the small ones we shall 
see the typical Australian, the pioneer of British civiliz- 
ation. 

There is nothing very piquant in Australia, unless it 
be the mosquitoes. Woe betide you if you are a 
stranger in the land ; you will be hailed as a new and 
succulent dish by these winged anthropophagi. The 
word will go round, and they will flock from all quar- 
ters to taste the newly imported treat. The flies, too, 
will pester you pitilessly, and follow by thousands in 
your walks. I have seen men dressed in white coutil 
literally black from head to waist. A net attached to 
the brim of your hat, and falling around your head on- 
to your shoulders, will protect your face and neck, and 
I only hope that the mosquito net will protect you dur- 
ing the night. 

All the little Australian towns resemble one another. 

131 



132 JOHN BULL & CO. 

One main street, which generally contains the town 
hall, the post office, the court house, the banks, the 
hotels, the club and the principal shops, and a few cross 
streets containing one-storied wooden houses, roofed 
with corrugated iron. A little removed from the dwel- 
ling houses stand the hospital and its garden, neat and 
admirably kept. Here and there a few churches and 
chapels represent the different forms of worship that 
Protestantism has invented. It is good to hear that 
the followers of the various spiritual guides are all on 
good terms, and help one another when there is a ba- 
zaar to be got up, or work of any kind to be done. I 
cannot see why they should not still improve on this by 
all worshiping under one roof. If the town boasts a 
pretty site — a hill, for instance — and you see a rather im- 
portant-looking edifice on it, you may be quite sure 
that it is the Roman Catholic church or a convent. 
This is infallible. 

What strikes you, and first of all astonishes you, is 
that towns of a thousand to two or three thousand in- 
habitants should possess so many public buildings. 
Their town halls and their post offices are often more 
imposing than those in our towns of fifty or sixty 
thousand inhabitants. The Bank of New South Wales, 
which has scores of branches in all the Colonies, includ- 
ing Tasmania and New Zealand, is represented by an 
edifice, and in some towns by a veritable palace. With 
the other banks it is much the same. Australia is the 
land of banks. 

The roads in all parts are well cut, well laid, and ad- 
mirably kept. This strikes the traveler very much, 
especially any one arriving in Australia from America, 



JOHN BULL & CO. I33 

where, even in the largest cities, the roads are some- 
times rough and dirty as ploughed fields, and one sinks 
up to the ankle in dust or mud, according to the weather. 
The Australians have done better still. Almost every 
little town has its public garden or a park, planted with 
the different trees of each colony, containing conserva- 
tories, well stocked with ferns, palms, and flowers. 
There are lawns and flower beds, and often a lake with 
swans and wild ducks on it. The streets are planted 
with trees on either side ; chestnuts, acacias, or gums 
from the Bush, if the finances of the town do not admit 
of imported greenery. When I saw some New South 
Wales towns, Albury, Wagga-Wagga, and others, they 
were veritable bowers of bloom and verdure. For years 
past they have been planting three thousand trees a 
year in Wagga-Wagga. 

Each town seeks to outdo its neighbors, and nothing 
is more amusing than to hear them tu qnoqiie one an- 
other, but this emulation results in the growth of some 
very pretty places. Every Australian is persuaded that 
his town is superior to all the other towns of the Colony, 
and he is not long in querying whether by chance the 
axle of the universe will not one day show itself just 
there. Admire him, he is happy. 

Assuredly it is not you, my dear Parisian, who would 
be able to make yourself happy in the life of a little 
Australian town. It is not I, either. But I met, in 
some of these tiny centres of population, rich, very rich 
people, who said to me, " I am perfectly happy, and if 
I had a hundred millions I would continue to live here. 
I do not ask or desire anything better in this world." 
The out-door life, the freedom, the vastness of the coun- 



134 JOHN BULL & CO. 

try, all charm them ; the chase and athletics form good 
recreation ; agriculture and the breeding of horses, 
sheep, and cattle, occupy them , they are proud to con- 
template the town that they have helped to found 
where there was once but the wild Bush. They are 
happy, and it is not to be wondered at. 

Nothing breaks the tranquillity of these little towns, 
unless it be the bi-weekly din of the tambourines and 
cornets of that gigantic farce called the Salvation Army. 
If the railway passes through the place, the arrival of 
the evening train is the event of the day, and a crowd 
congregates at the station to see it come in. 

It is during the wool season that the towns are most 
full of movement. A loud crack, as of a rifle report, 
strikes the ear, and there comes into sight along the 
dusty road a slow-moving wagon, drawn by a team of 
sixteen or eighteen sturdy, broad-backed oxen, who 
plod in front of the great load, and look as if no whip 
or other contrivance of man had power to stir their 
placid pulses. From six to ten tons of wool are they 
drawing, perhaps up a steep street, with long, strong, 
steady pull ; at just that gait they set out from their 
starting-place in the morning, and at just that gait will 
they go until the moment when they are unyoked at 
night. Day after day these loads are coming through 
the town on their way to the railway station, and the 
sound of the rawhide whips is constantly heard. One 
grazier has 20,000 sheep to be shorn ; another 30,000 or 
more. Their flocks and herds astonished me, until I 
had been to Queensland and had heard of a station as 
large as the whole of England belonging to one man. 
Even then it was difficult to restrain an exclamation of 



JOHN BULL & CO. 135 

amazement at the sight of the great mobs of cattle and 
sheep one is constantly meeting on the road. 

For anyone fond of the freedom of an open-air exist- 
ence, life in the Colonies must be full of charm. Horses 
are plentiful, so that riding and driving are within the 
reach of all. Game is also plentiful, and there is no 
lack of sport for him who loves a gun. The sky is a 
glorious blue one, and for nine months of the year, if 
not twelve, the sun invites, nay, entices, to all out-door 
games. And how all the young Australians respond to 
the invitation ! What picnickings, what tennis tourna- 
ments and riding parties, to say nothing of foot-ball 
and cricket, are always in progress ! How many times 
have I had among my audience at a lecture a party of 
fifteen or sixteen young people, with perhaps one chap- 
eron, who had driven forty or fifty miles through the 
Bush to come and hear it ; and it was exhilarating 
merely to see them set off at about ten at night, full of 
gaiety at the thought of the return home through the 
moonlit Bush. The rich squatters have splendid teams, 
and a little business in the chief town of the district is 
made a pretext for getting up a merry excursion. The 
four-in-hand is ready, baskets well-filled are put in, and 
the light-hearted little party drive off. In some suit- 
able spot by the way a halt is made, a champagne lunch 
is spread and eaten, seasoned with hunger and hilarity. 
After this pleasant interruption the journey through the 
Bush is resumed, and the merry party arrive at their 
destination, ready to do justice to a good dinner at 
the hotel, and to enjoy any entertainment that may be 
going on. 



136 JOHN BULL & CO. 

For the botanist, for the lover of natural history, 
what happy hours are in store with the thousand flow- 
ers, butterflies and birds of the Bush, and what delight 
for the artist in the gorgeous sunsets. The sun is leav- 
ing the sky, setting in a blaze of crimson and purple 
and gold that would draw everyone out of doors to see 
it, if it were not an almost every-day occurrence. But 
here, in this clear atmosphere, gorgeous sunsets are the 
rule, and not the exception, so the people of the little 
Bushtown go on sacrificing to that household god, the 
teapot, and placidly sup while the sky goes through its 
marvelous color-harmonies for the benefit of the few 
stragglers who may happen to be out, and to have eyes 
to see with. The great disc of fire disappears, and now 
the sky pales a little ; but in ten minutes more comes 
the afterglow, lovelier than the sunset itself, if possible, 
and in this half-mysterious light even the little square, 
iron-roofed houses look almost beautiful. The short 
twilight soon gives place to night, and the silence of 
the Bush envelops the town. From far off the bark- 
ing of a dog, the lowing of a cow, reaches the ear ; the 
crickets chirp, the frogs croak, but nothing stirs ; and 
these sounds do but emphasize the quiet. The men are 
at their club, the women are at home. Little intellect- 
ual activity finding vent in literary societies ; no courses 
of public lectures on science, such as one finds in the 
veriest villages in America. 

The Australians take things easily, and, as a people, 
are not early risers : at half-past eight plenty of shops 
are still unopened. They do not walk much : in the 
afternoon the streets are deserted, even when the atmos- 
phere is delicious and the temperature moderate. As 



JOHN BULL & CO. 137 

you stroll past the houses you hear the "Maiden's 
Prayer," or the " Blue Bells of Scotland," being 
strummed on some old tin-kettle of a piano, and you 
feel as if you had strayed into some little corner of the 
England of 1830, pitched down at the antipodes, instead 
of being in a new community ; and this is an impression 
that will gain strength when you enter the houses and 
see pictures of racing and hunting, with postihons in 
high hats, chairs protected by white antimacassars, arti- 
ficial fruit and flowers under glass shades, and on the 
mantelpiece terrible things of colored glass with plain 
glass strips hanging round them, like the dangling front 
curls of the Englishwomen of that day. 

In the hotels the impression will deepen still more. 
The same bar with the little parlor for the habitues. 
The walls are covered with the same engravings, boxers 
and cricketers of days gone by, the eternal " Trial of 
Charles L," and the everlasting " Lord William Rus- 
sell Going to the Scaffold," which in England take the 
place of our " Death of Poniatowski " or " The Adieux of 
Napoleon at Fontainebleau." 

The English often complain that there is no soap in 
our hotel bedrooms. There are some who go so far as 
to conclude that we do not wash. We prefer to use 
our own soap, which we carry in our trunks with us. 
Everyone to his taste. In all colonial hotels you find 
soap. In most you also find a comb and brush. I never 
saw that brush without saying to myself, " Who spent 
the night here yesterday ? It is enough. I pass," and 
with a gingerly touch I remove the obtrusive thing. 

Just as yEneas carried his household gods from Troy 
to Italy, so the English have carried their customs from 



138 JOHN liULL & CO. 

England to Australia, with this difference, that the gods 
of yEneas were transferred to a climate like the one 
they had left, whereas the dry, hot, bracing climate of 
Australia is the very opposite of the damp, cold, relax- 
ing one of England. It is curious to find the Briton 
still eating his porridge, even in the tropical parts of 
Queensland ; porridge — a food adopted by the Scotch 
to keep their blood warm in a cold and humid climate. 
And there are the same soups, or rather the same soup, An- 
glo-Saxondom having invented but one as yet; the same 
roast beef and roast mutton, accompanied by the same 
potatoes and vegetables, cooked in water, and followed 
by the same puddings. But I must hasten to say that 
all these things are well cooked, and not like the name- 
less horrors served to one in the hotels of little Ameri- 
can towns ; but, after all, to go to the other end of the 
world, and be presented with exactly the same fare as 
in Liverpool or Manchester, is tiresome and disappoint- 
ing: one would like to see on the bill of fare a dish of 
kangaroo, a cockatoo saute, or an emu chick a I'Atistra- 
lioinc. The people one sees in the hotels are nearly 
all washing down their dinner with water or tea, not 
from sobriety — for most of the male portion will go to 
the bar to pass the evening over their whiskey — but from 
habit. The hotel-keeper does not push his wine, which 
is dear ; he prefers to sell his whiskey, upon which he 
gets a considerable profit. Australia is now a first-class 
wine-growing country, and it would have a splendid 
future in the European markets if the Australians were 
themselves the first to appreciate their good fortune. 
As I have already said, the drinkers do not find the wine 
strong enough in alcohol to please them, and the fanatics 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1 39 

preach total abstinence. These latter forget that drunk- 
enness is rarely caused by wine-drinking, and that wine- 
drinking nations, such as France, Germany, Spain and 
Italy, are the countries where one finds fewest drunkards. 

The AustraHans pass the greater part of their time at 
table. At seven they take tea and bread and butter. 
At half-past eight they breakfast off cold meat, chops 
or steaks, eggs and bacon and tea. At eleven most 
of them take a light lunch of beer and biscuit, or tea 
and bread and butter, according to their sex. At one, 
or half-past, they dine, and again the teapot is in requi- 
sition. At three, afternoon tea is served and swallowed. 
From six to seven all Australia, broadly speaking, is 
taking its third meat meal, and again drinking tea. 
Those who stay up at all late sometimes supplement 
this with a light collation at ten. 

Meat is served at every meal, roast or boiled, and 
never reappears in the form of appetizing croquettes or 
stew. Animal food is so cheap (from twopence to four- 
pence per pound) that rechauffe's are disdained. As for 
vegetables, they are boiled in water and served as in 
England, without any special preparation. Lettuce and 
celery are constantly eaten without any seasoning but 
salt. In the matter of cookery, the Anglo-Saxon is 
about as far advanced as the rabbit. 

Most of these little Australian towns are surrounded 
by immense estates belonging to squatters whose par- 
ents acquired them for a few pounds sterling, but which 
would realize fabulous sums to-day. Very often this is 
what hinders the towns from going ahead in size and 
importance. They console themselves with the thought 
that the squatters keep them going. 



I40 JOHN BULL & CO. 

A squatter is as proud of his acres as a Duke of 
Westminster, and he hates to sell any part of his sta- 
tion. His expenses are so far below his income that he 
would not know what to do with the product of such a 
sale, and he prefers to keep his land and feel that it is 
increasing in value. 

Perhaps, when the population of Australia increases 
faster than it does at present, it will be necessary for the 
Legislators to pass a law to oblige these large holders of 
land to sell part of their absurdly immense estates at a 
fixed price, and so allow the country to develop. 

But the population will scarcely increase, by immigra- 
tion, at all events. The Germans, the Swedes, the Nor- 
wegians, and the poor Irish, who, together, form the 
great bulk of European emigrants, go to America or 
the northwest of Canada. The voyage costs them now 
less than three pounds, while to go to South Africa or the 
Australasian Colonies they v/ould need from twelve to 
eighteen pounds. If an Irish peasant possessed eighteen 
pounds he would live on his means for the rest of his life. 

Population, that is the crying want of Australia. 

England too often sends out useless people, family 
scapegraces, idlers, drunkards, failures of every kind. 
Australia wants none of these. 

What a future Australia would have before her, if she 
could import from the fields of France those hardy, 
sober, honest, thrifty laborers, brought up on that old, 
slow-going soil, in that land of sobriety, common sense, 
hard work and economy ! This is a sentiment that I 
have often heard expressed by Australians who had seen 
our field laborers at work. 

Unfortunately for Australia, the French peasant does 



JOHN BULL & CO. 14I 

not emigrate. He loves his country and he stays 
there. 

Mention must be made of the names that those httle 
towns of Australasia have been saddled with. One is 
named Richmond, another Montpellier, the next Jeru- 
salem. There is a Perth, a Jericho, a Windsor, a Tara- 
tatakirikiki, a Berlin, a Canrobert, a St. Arnaud (towns 
founded at the time of the Crimean war) a Wooroom- 
gorra. A railway station, with three or four little 
wooden cabins in the background, bears the sounding 
name of Kensington, the next on the line something 
that resembles Tararaboomdeay. One of the suburbs 
of Sydney rejoices in the name of Wooloomooloo. Try 
and fancy yourself in a civilized country at Wooroom- 
gorra, or Wooloomooloo ! 



CHAPTER XIV. 

The Australian Natives — The Last Tasmanian is in the Museum 
— A Broken-down King Accepts my Penny — Diana Pays 
Me a Visit — The Trackers — The Queensland Aborigines — 
The Boomerang — Curious Rites — The Ladies Refuse to 
Wash for the Bachelors. 

The Australian aborigines have not given the Eng- 
lish much trouble. Humanity has no type more abject 
or degraded. Possessing neither intelligence nor cour- 
age, the race was easily disposed of. Two potions did 
the work : the Bible, which converted them, and the 
whiskey-bottle, which diverted them from the care of 
their territory. New South Wales has very few left, Vic- 
toria has still about five hundred, and Tasmania has the 
skeleton of her last preserved in the museum at Hobart. 
The type is a horrible one. The body is badly formed, 
the legs thin, and the arms like those of an orang-outang ; 
the forehead is high, narrow, and receding, the eyes dull ; 
the chin scarcely exists, and is almost merged in the 
lower jaw, which is receding and very large. The hair 
is long and fuzzy and looks like a crow's nest. 

These savages are the only inhabitants of the earth 
who have no idea of making habitations for themselves. 
Three pieces of wood fixed in the ground and support- 
ing the bark of a tree, this is as far as their genius of in- 
vention ever led them in the path of architecture. 

The unhappy creatures may be met with, straying 
around the little towns, and rubbing their stomachs to 

142 



JOHN BULL & CO. I43 

make you understand that they are hungry. If you give 
them a few pence they go to the pubHc-house. They 
are the only beggars who will accept copper money ; 
a white would throw it in your face. The native him- 
self begins to have a look of contempt for the penny. 
One day, when I gave a penny to some black beggar, 
he looked at the coin, smiled, and said in passable Eng- 
lish, " It is a coin of your color I should like, boss, not 
one of my own." In his time this poor wretch was king 
of his tribe, I was told, and I gave sixpence to the de- 
throned sovereign to console him for his lost royalty. 

If the men are horrible, the women are revoltingly 
ugly, with hanging breasts and not a vestige of feminine 
attractiveness. 

One of these creatures — thank Heaven, draped, if not 
dressed — came one morning to the Western Hotel, Warr- 
nambool (Victoria), and asked to see me. 

Diana — it is thus that she is known in this town, 
where she lives on alms — presented herself at my door 
hopelessly drunk. She stumbled and muttered a few 
unintelligible words. 

" What do you want ? " said I, my hand going to my 
pocket. 

" I have come to pray for you," she said, and there- 
upon fell on her knees, and began to mutter a prayer. 

The sight of this horrible drunken hag, trying to ejac- 
ulate a prayer, revolted me, turned me sick. I had 
meant to give her money, but instead I took her by the 
arm and put her out. 

Diana was scarcely clear of my parlor before she be- 
gan to swear, calling me by all the names that her vile 
vocabulary could furnish. 



144 



TOIIN lUILI, & CO. 



There is another convert for the Enghsh to be proud 
of, I said to myself. 

The natives are of no use to the -wliites. Tn South 




BLACK TRACKER. 



Africa amongst them are found workmen of various 
kinds, and the women make excellent domestic servants. 
But in Australia King Demos would have something to 
say to that. Australia belongs to him, and woe betide 



JOHN BULL & CO. 145 

the Government that would dare to find work for the 
blacks. They are looked upon as animals and treated 
as such, although they are no longer killed like wild 
ones. 

When we get to New Zealand, that will be another 
story; but let us not anticipate. 

The sole purpose for which the Government employs 
the black fellow is to track criminals who have taken 
refuge in the Bush. At this work they are excellent. 
They have the instinct of the hound, are soon on the 
track of a fugitive, and seldom fail to unearth him. 

In the north of Queensland you find some of the na- 
tives horribly ugly, but vigorous and well built. They 
are dextrous at the chase, and marvelous is their skill 
with the boomerang. If ever the Paris Hippodrome 
were in search of an attraction, the directors would only 
have to engage a company of North Queenslanders to 
throw the boomerang and they would be sure to draw 
all Paris. 

The boomerang is a flat piece of wood about two and 
a half feet long, arched somewhat like a triangle. The 
Queenslander spies an object at some distance from 
him. The boomerang, after having hit this object (if it 
is a living thing its end has come), mounts into the air 
like a bird, with a whirring as of wings, to a height of 
sixty to eighty yards, describes immense circles, and, if 
it was cleverly thrown, comes back in its fall to the feet 
of the thrower. It is graceful in the highest degree and 
very marvelous, but do not try your hand at it ; it is a 
dangerous game. 

Among the North Queenslanders are tribes who prac- 
tise rites that are strange and little known. When a 



146 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



male child does not bid fair to be an honor to his race, 
he is subjected to an operation that shall prevent his 




NATIVES OF NORTH QUEENSLAND. 
{From a Photograph by Lomer &; Co., Brisbane^ 

contributing to the augmentation of the population. 



JOHN BULL & CO. I47 

Europe might take a lesson ! 

The women despise the bachelors. When a man is 
married, the women are his devoted slaves and proud 
to wait upon him. " But," said Mr. Meston, the well- 
known ethnologist of Brisbane, to whom I am indebted 
for much information on the subject of the natives, "if 
the man is a bachelor, the women even refuse to wash 
his clothes for him." 

If I only wore the light costume of the Queenslander 
this would not trouble me. I should not be long doing 
my own washing. 



CHAPTER XV. 

Politics and Politicians — The Price of Liberty — The Legislative 
Chambers — Governors — Comparisons between American 
and British Institutions — The Politician and the Order of 
St. Michael and St. George — An Eloquent Candidate — The 
Honorables — Colonial Peerage — Sir Henry Parkes — A 
Word to Her Majesty Queen Victoria. 

Brought up in the democratic ideas of the mother- 
country, the Austrahans, hke the Enghsh, the French 
and the Americans, are persuaded that there does not 
exist among them a man who is not capable and worthy 
of being Prime Minister, and they are only pitiless toward 
those who, by their talents or their perseverance, have 
outshone their fellows. There is not a politician in 
Australia whom I have not seen dragged in the mire, or 
spoken of as an incapable man, a schemer, a robber, or, 
at the very least, a humbug. 

Liberty is so great a boon that we can scarcely pay 
too high a price for it, but one must admit the price is 
a little exorbitant when the love of equality takes to 
going hand in hand with a ferocious jealousy of every 
one who rises above the common level. 

Whatever the result may be, the Australian govern- 
ment (I mean the form) is good. This young country 
manages its own affairs to its own taste. It appoints 
its own members to the Legislative Assembly or Lower 
House ; it elects the members of the Legislative Coun- 

14S 



JOHN BULL & CO. I49 

cil or Upper House.* It not only makes its own laws, 
levies its own taxes, but it even changes its constitution 
when it chooses. If the parliaments of the Colonies 
were to proclaim their independence to-day, a civil war 
might result, that is to say, a war between Australians 
and Australians ; but it is probable that England would 
not take part in the quarrel, and that she would accept 
the decision of the majority or the stronger Australian 
party. 

Australia pays no tribute to England, unless it be the 
interest of the money England lends her. She has her 
fleet, her militia, and England sends her neither func- 
tionaries nor soldiers. The Governor alone, appointed 
by the Queen on the recommendation of her Ministers, 
reminds Australia that she is a branch of the firm, John 
Bull & Co. 

The manager of this branch, then, is supplied by the 
parent establishment, but he has no more power in the 
Colonies than the Queen has in England. It is the Min- 
isters, responsible to Parliament, and therefore to the 
people, who direct his speech and actions ; his functions 
consist in making himself agreeable to the people, calm- 
ing jealousies, preventing friction between the political 
parties, or in the relations of the colony with England, 
but, above all, in gracefully doing the honors of the 
Government House. He is the leader of colonial soci- 
ety, and for this reason is generally chosen from among 
the most amiable members of the English aristocracy. 

* New South Wales and New Zealand are exceptions. In these 
two Colonies it is the Governor who appoints the members of the 
Legislative Council; but he always does it in such a manner as to 
give satisfaction to *he people. 



150 JOHN BULL & CO. 

In a word, Australia is a political reproduction of 
England. Its constitution is built on English lines, and 
does not resemble the American constitution in the 
least. 

England is a republic with a hereditary president, 
purely constitutional. 

America is an autocracy with an elected monarch, 
whom the people clothe with a power almost as abso- 
lute as that of the Emperor of all the Russias. 

In England and in all the English Colonies the Min- 
isters are responsible to the people for their actions. 

The Ministers of the United States are only respon- 
sible to the President, who appoints them without even 
giving himself the trouble to make his selection from 
among the representatives of the people. 

If the House of Commons in England declares that 
the Ministers do not possess its confidence, those Minis- 
ters have to retire immediately. 

If the Lower House in America makes the same dec- 
laration, the Ministers need not take the least notice of 
it, and they remain in power as long as it pleases the 
President to retain them. 

Neither the Queen of England nor any Governor of 
her Colonies could take it upon them to appoint or dis- 
miss a mere policeman or custom-house ofBcer. 

The President of the United States appoints and dis- 
misses all the servants of the State, from the Ministers 
down to the postmen, without anyone being able to in- 
terfere or object to it. 

All this is certainly in favor of the English system ; 
and when the Americans would say to me, " Canada 
is destined to become part of the United States, and 



JOHN BULL & CO. 151 

that which will make annexation easy is that the consti- 
tution of each American state is the same as that of 
each Canadian province," I replied, " You are mistaken. 
The names may be the same, but the things are different. 
In the two countries the legislative power is democratic, 
but while the executive power is autocratic in the 
States, it is democratic in Canada. If the annexation 
takes place the Canadians will lose by the change." 

I have traveled over a great part of the earth's sur- 
face ; have lived in the two great republics of the world, 
France and America, and it is my firm conviction that 
there exists, on this planet, but one people perfectly 
free, from a political and social point of view, and that 
is the English. v 

The form of government in the Colonies leaves them 
little to be desired, and if only some one could persuade 
the most capable and the most upright men of good 
colonial society to look upon it as an honor to represent 
their countrymen in Parliament, all would go well ; but 
in Australia, as in America, this class of man is apt to 
hold aloof, and allow the seat, which he ought to oc- 
cupy, to be filled very often by a noisy demagogue, who 
has his own and not his country's good at heart, and 
who takes up three hundred a year if he sits in the Leg- 
islative Assembly, and from one thousand to fifteen 
hundred if he be in the Ministry. 

In European democracies, the politician plays on the 
classes and the masses. In colonial democracies he 
plays on the loyalty to the mother-country of one part 
of the community, and national aspirations of the other. 
Nothing is sadder than to see certain Australian Minis- 
ters try to keep their equilibrium and satisfy their am- 



152 JOHN BULL & CO. 

bition in kissing the Queen's hand and cringing before 
the populace of their own country. At home, the hum- 
ble servant of the people, whose motto is, " Australia 
for the Australians ; " in the throne-room the courtier 
whom the Queen is going to make a Knight of St. Mi- 
chael and St. George, the man loyal to the Crown above 
all things. 

At the Australian Federal Convention held in 1891, 
the Premier of New South Wales said, " There is an 
instinct of freedom in Australia which will compel our 
people at the earliest moment to form a nation of their 
own." The same man a year later, in England, as a 
postulant knight, said in public, " I hope the day is far 
distant when any statesman will endeavor to weaken 
the cords which bind us to England." The rank demo- 
crat had become a democrat of rank, as the witty Syd- 
ney Bulletin put it. 

On returning home, the new-made knight once more 
posed as the Australian patriot. 

Would you like a sample of a certain class of Austra- 
lian politicians ? 

The scene passes at an electoral meeting. A candi- 
date makes a violent speech, in which he denounces his 
opponent in most vehement terms. I will spare you 
the speech. When the candidate has finished his har- 
angue, one of his partisans rises and proposes a vote of 
confidence. No one rises to second the proposal. The 
candidate, indignant, advances to the front of the plat- 
form and shouts with stentorian voice " I propose that 
we adjourn and go and have a drink." Up go all the 
hands. " I knew every d — '■ — d one of you would second 
that," he exclaimed. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1 53 

In Australia, as in America, the members of the two 
legislative houses receive the title of honorable, not only 
during debates, but in private life. Colonial politicians, 
when they came to England, used to have themselves 
announced with their title of honorable. One day the 
English nobility grew angry at this. They protested, 
and declared that the " honorable " colonials would have 
in future to leave their honorableness at the custom- 
house on landing. Great was the resentment in the 
Colonies at the news of this affront offered to their rep- 
resentatives. Indignation meetings were forthwith 
held, and it was resolved that if the English persisted 
in not recognizing the colonial honorables, the Colonies 
would refuse in future to recognize English honorables. 

In 1853 the Colonies went a little further. On the 
28th of July in that year, a Bill was presented in the 
Sydney Parliament to create a colonial peerage. The 
good common sense of the Australian people soon dis- 
posed of this huge joke. However, it would have been 
droll to hear announced in the drawing-rooms of the old 
English aristocracy the Duke and Duchess of Wooloo- 
mooloo, the Marquis and Marchioness of Parramatta 
and the Earl and Countess of Cockatoo Island. 

Among the politicians of the Colonies there are a few 
who have raised themselves above the ordinary level, 
and who merit the name of statesmen. Of such are the 
late Sir John Macdonald, Premier of Canada, Sir Henry 
Parkes, Premier of New South Wales, now in his 79th 
year, and Mr. Cecil Rhodes, Premier of Cape Colony, 
who may be called the uncrowned king of South Africa, 
and of whom I shall speak later. 

Sir Henry Parkes is a most interesting personality. 



154 JOHN BULL & CO. 

It is impossible to forget him : an enormous head cov- 
ered with a forest of white hair, a shrewd and penetrating 
glance, a slow and unctuous voice ; an inimitable mix- 
ture of the lamb and the fox. Sir Henry Parkes is the 
champion of fiscal liberty and Australasian unity. His 
pet dream is to see the seven colonies of Australasia set 
aside their ridiculous jealousies and make one family. 

There are four immense provinces in the north of 
America which form but one Canada, and are all the 
better for it ; why should not the seven Australasian 
colonies combine themselves into one powerful confed- 
eration ? But such are the jealousies that, to appease 
in advance those of Melbourne and Sydney, it has already 
been resolved that, if ever Australian confederation 
comes to pass, it shall be Albury, a little town of three 
thousand inhabitants, situated on the frontier of Vic- 
toria and New South Wales, that shall be made the 
capital of Australia. It is already dubbed the Federal 
City. 

Sir Henry Parkes will die without seeing his dream 
realized. It is not confederation that the people of the 
Colonies demand, but still more separation. Queens- 
land at this very time is moving heaven and earth to 
get divided into two colonies ; there are even to be found 
Queenslanders who go so far as to ask that their colony 
be split up into three. 

During a short stay at Rockhampton I received a depu- 
tation of notables who came to talk of their grievances, 
and pushed childishness so far as to ask me to promise 
that, on returning to Europe, I would use all my influ- 
ence to get the colony of Queensland separated into 
two independent parts. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 155 

I received these gentlemen with all the seriousness of 
which I am capable, and I promised. Now I have kept 
my word, for how can I doubt that the Queen of Eng- 
land and the Ministers of Her Britannic Majesty will read 
my book and accede to the righteous demands of the 
worthy Queensland patriots? 

My commission is, therefore, executed. 



CHArXER XVI. 

The Resources of Australia — The Mines — 2,500 Per Cent. Divi- 
dends — Wool — Viticulture — The Wealth of Australia Com- 
pared to the Wealth of Most Other Countries — Why France 
is Richer than Other Nations. 

Australia is a vast continent, equal to four-fifths of 
the superficial area of Europe. It contains a tract of 
sterile land here and there ; but, roughly speaking, its 
bowels are full of precious ore, and its surface is admira- 
bly suited for raising cattle, grazing sheep, and growing 
corn and fruit. If Australia had better rivers it would 
be another America ; unfortunately, it lacks water and 
hands; its rivers in summer are mostly trickling streams 
or empty ditches, and the hands are not there to over- 
come the difficulty by irrigating the land. 

Up to the present day, gold, silver and wool have 
been the principal products of Australia. 

The town of Bendigo produced in a few years ^^^65,- 
000,000. Ballarat ran this performance very close. 
Broken Hill produces 300,000 ounces of gold per week. 
Mount Morgan, in Queensland, is a mountain of gold. 
To get at the precious metal, the miners only have to 
cut into the mountain, as one would cut a slice of cake. 

Needless to talk of the fabulous fortunes that have 
been made in a few days. 

When Broken Hill was discovered nine years ago, a 
company was formed, and shares were issued at £1. 

156 



JOHN BULL & CO. 157 

What was the history of those shares ? Here is a short 
and authentic story, which will show you : 

A merchant in Adelaide bought a hundred of these 
shares, and presented them to his wife. " Take them, 
my dear," he said ; " I rather fear it maybe one hundred 
pounds thrown away ; but who knows ? The affair may 
prosper, perhaps, and if dividends should come, you will 
be so much in pocket," He had just retired from busi- 
ness. After having sold his concern, he went to Eng- 
land, intending to live there on his income. On landing 
in London, he learned that the bank in which he had 
placed his capital had failed. Not only had he lost the 
value of his shares, but, as a shareholder, he was called 
upon to pay a sum which swallowed up every penny he 
possessed. He was still young. He determined to re- 
turn to business, and, without unpacking his trunks, 
started for Australia again. On arriving at Adelaide 
he found that the Broken Hill shares that he had bought 
at £i Avere worth ^^"480 apiece. Thus his wife, to whom 
he had given a hundred one-pound shares, was worth 
;^48,ooo. He realized this fortune, invested it in Gov- 
ernment consols, and does not blush to live on his wife's 
income. 

The Mount Morgan gold mine has produced results 
just as fabulous. The histories of Bendigo and of Ballarat 
abound in anecdotes of the same nature, and South Af- 
rica has more wonderful ones still. However, if I may 
offer you advice, buy three-per-cents, guaranteed by the 
State ; there has been more money thrown into mines 
than has ever been taken out of them. 

For this reason the Australians do not count upon 
their mines for a living. It is their sheep, the fleeces of 



158 JOHN BULL & CO. 

which find a ready sale in all the markets of the world, 
that form the wealth of Australia. 

Viticulture is making enormous progress. The Aus- 
tralian wines, surcharged with alcohol, as they gen- 
erally are, very much resemble our Roussillon wines. 
They are lacking in delicacy ; but the wine-growers are 
beginning to understand that the wine -making art, 
which has been perfected in France by centuries of ex- 
perimental study, is not to be learned in a day, and one 
after another they have been sending to France for 
experts, whom they have placed at the head of their 
vineyards. 

Up to now little Australian wine has been consumed 
in the Colonies. The water-drinkers, the fanatics of all 
shades, preach temperance (a word which in English 
signifies total abstinence, and not moderation), the Gov- 
ernments put on an enormous duty ;* the hotel-keepers 
charge three to six shillings a bottle for the most ordi- 
nary kinds, and the result is, that the bulk of the people 
drink water, tea or whiskey, and the rich drink the wines 
of France and Germany. 

As yet, Australia does not produce a thirtieth part of 
the wine consumed by London alone. I predict that 
in twenty years Australia will be sending her wines to 
the four corners of the world. When all the other 
inhabitants of the globe are drinking it, perhaps the 
Australians may make up their minds to taste what it 
is like. 

The private wealth of America is ;!{J^39.o.o per inhab- 
itant ; of England, ;^35.4.o; of France, ^25.14.0; of 

* The duty on a three-shilling bottle of wine entering Victoria 
from New South Wales, or vice-versa, is three shillings. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1 59 

Germany, ^18.14.0 ; of Austria, ^16.6.0. The private 
wealth of AustraHa is £48. 

Then the AustraHan is the richest man in the world. 

Not at all. 

If two people living together possess, one ;{^8,ooo and 
the other nothing, they possess, say statistics, ^^4,000 
each. This ought to be a great comfort to number 
two. Australia, like America and England, has some 
very wealthy men, squatters and mine-owners, who, in 
a few years, have amassed millions, and in the large 
towns she has a population of more than a hundred 
thousand people, for whom, each morning, existence is 
a problem hard to solve. 

England and America are the countries where for- 
tunes are most disproportionate. On one hand million- 
aires living in unbridled luxury ; on the other, poor 
starving wretches huddled together in frightful hovels, 
in a state of numb despair induced by overwhelming 
evils. 

England and America are also the two countries 
where people speculate the most. Now, it is not specu- 
lation that enriches a country, it is production. Specu- 
lation enriches a few individuals at the expense of a 
few others. The money passes from one pocket to an- 
other in this way, without the country having benefited 
by the transaction. The products of the soil and of 
industry are the only sources of real riches in a coun- 
try. Speculators are the country's enemies, encourag- 
ing a man to make a gain which shall be another man's 
loss. When the great day of social reform arrives, 
which is coming with giant strides, we shall see, I hope, 
the extermination of the speculator. Everything has a 



l6o JOHN BULL & CO. 

real value, and I fail to see why stocks should attain a 
high fictitious value by the manoeuverings of a few 
speculators. Perhaps I am very obtuse, but I never 
can see why consols should vary because a sovereign 
or a statesman makes a speech more or less amiable. 
By work I have earned and put by one hundred pounds, 
which I lend to the Government on condition that it 
pays me three pounds a year : for the life of me I can- 
not see why these hundred pounds should only be worth 
ninety-eight pounds, because the King of Italy has a cold 
in his head, or the Emperor of Germany a fit of indi- 
gestion, or why they should be worth a hundred and 
two pounds, because the Emperor of Russia has sent 
New Year's greetings to the Sultan of Turkey. These 
are things which are beyond my comprehension. 

Speculators were unknown a hundred and fifty years 
ago. When will they disappear from the face of the 
earth ? 

It is they who are the cause of the commercial and 
financial crises, which bring America and Australia with- 
in a hair's-breadth of bankruptcy every few years. 

Australia is overrun with speculators and bookmakers, 
she who ought to have only farmers, manufacturers, 
traders, mechanics and laborers. The bookmakers 
make as much as i^20,ooo a year, and every year hun- 
dreds of individuals go there from England, hoping to 
live by speculations in mines and horse-racing. 

I can wish nothing better to Australia than that she may 
soon be able to sweep her territory of all such parasites. 

The day she has the courage to send the surplus pop- 
ulation of her towns to fell the Bush forests ; the day 
she has succeeded in learnine that there is but one 



JOHN BULL & CO. l6l 

means of growing rich, for nation or for individual, and 
that is by work and thrift ; the day she ceases to try 
and enrich herself by unhealthy speculation, Australia 
will see her credit firmly established. Disproportions 
will melt away, and with them all poverty ; the popula- 
tion will increase, and the riches of the country, drawn 
from regular work, will become stable. 

It is the stability of fortunes, and a seemly distribu- 
tion of wealth that makes a country really rich, and not 
a few colossal fortunes collected in a few pockets. 
Three-quarters of the land in England is in the hands 
of about thirty families. In France, at the present day, 
more than six millions of people are land-owners, and 
more than half the people are the owners of the houses 
they inhabit. This is why France is the richest nation 
in the world. It is she who has the most masters and 
men working on their own account. It is she alone 
who, thanks to the order and economy which reigns 
in the bourgeoisie — the shop-keeping class and the peas- 
antry — can pass through a commercial crisis and lend 
money to a foreign government. 

The land was never intended to support three per- 
sons : a landlord, a tenant, and a laborer. Jacques 
Bonhomme is in himself a landlord, tenant and laborer, 
that is why he prospers. His wife does not follow the 
fashions nor go in for the high-hand shake. She rises 
at four or five o'clock in the morning, feeds her own 
poultry, and that is why they look so well. 

All nations, the new countries especially, envy France 
her economical and laborious rural population. And 
well they may ; it is Jacques Bonhomme and his good 
wife who are the fortune of France. 



CHAPTER XVII. 

The Workman Sovereign Master of Australia — His Character — 
The Artist and the Bungler— A Sham Democrat — Govern- 
ment by and for the Workingman — Public Orators — Stories 
of Workmen — End of the Tragic Story of a Russian Trav- 
eler. 

The sovereign ruler of Australia is neither the Queen 
of England, nor the Governor appointed by her, nor the 
Parhament, nor the Ministers chosen in that Parliament; 
the sovereign ruler of Australia is the workingman. 

If this personage were but content with his lot, and 
the country prospered under his rule, there would be 
little to be said against this arrangement ; but, unhap- 
pily, he does not turn to account the inexhaustible re- 
sources that nature has placed in his reach on this im- 
mense continent, and he takes good care that no one 
else shall profit by them. The Australian workman, 
still less interesting than his English cousin and con- 
frere, is lazy, fond of drink, a devoted keeper of Saint 
Monday, a spendthrift who thinks only of his pleasures 
and takes no interest whatever in the development of 
his country. He will throw up the most lucrative job 
to go and see a horse-race a hundred miles from his 
home. His labor is purely mercenary, a task got 
through anyhow. He has served no apprenticeship 
worth the name, received no technical instruction. He 
is by turns carpenter, locksmith, mason, gardener, vine 
grower, carter, shearer, and, at a push, schoolmaster. 

162 



JOHN BULL & CO. 163 

He strikes frequently, but it is not in order to try and 
earn more, so that out of his savings he may set up in 
trade or farming. No, he wants to gain more in order 
to be able to spend more. He has no pride in his 
work, no jealousy about its quality. He takes up 
enormous wages, which he spends in frivolity, and at the 
end of the year finds himself just where he was before. 
A French gardener is a botanist ; a French cabinet- 
maker is an artist. The mass of Anglo-Saxon work- 
men are bunglers, and have not the least artistic in- 
stinct in them. It is not altogether their fault. There 
are few or no technical schools for them on week days, 
and no art museums open on Sundays. The Pecksniffs, 
the Podsnaps, the Chadbands and all the Tartufes of 
their native land prevent their making acquaintance 
with the works of art that might elevate them ; they 
know only sensual pleasures, and when they have filled 
themselves with gin or whiskey they declare they have 
enjoyed themselves. 

It is the money he saves, and not the money he earns, 
which enriches a man. This is a truism which the Anglo- 
Saxon workman has not yet discovered. 

At Broken Hill, the place which produces more silver 
than any other in the world, I had the following con- 
versation with a miner who was out on strike : 

" The mines ought to be nationalized and to belong 
to the people," he said. "Look at me; what do I earn? 
Three pounds a week ! Yet /go down into the mines 
to fetch the silver ; / do the work. Three pounds a 
week ! What is a man to do with three pounds a week ? " 

The miner on strike was a bachelor. 

" Since you ask me, I will tell you what a man can 



164 JOHN BULL & CO. 

do with three pounds a week," I replied. " You are 
away here in a desert ; distractions are few. You are 
young. Work for a couple of years. Spend twenty 
shillings a week and put by the other forty. In one 
year's time you will have a hundred pounds saved ; at 
the end of two years you will have more than two hun- 
dred. You talk of nationalizing the mines. Let the 
five thousand miners who are employed here follow the 
advice I have given to you, and in two years you might 
between you buy all the shares, and the mine would be 
yours. If you have not confidence in the mine, do not 
be jealous of the shareholders. Buy land, cultivate it 
or run sheep on it, and you are land-owners at once." 

If I had talked Hebrew to the fellow, he could not 
have looked at me more blankly. 

"Ah!" he exclaimed, "leave me alone. You are no 
democrat ; you are no friend of the people." 

" I beg your pardon," I returned ; " I am a thorough 
democrat. The man who has not the self-control to 
impose a few privations on himself, and put by some- 
thing, inspires not the slightest sympathy in me. The 
man who, by his own fault, possesses nothing is a slave. 
I call a democrat the man who is independent and his 
Own master. The middle classes have become a power 
because they have known how to save money. I would 
not have the workingman be a slave, I would have him 
possess something ; but he will only be in that position 
when he has learned to deny himself and put something 
in reserve. In Europe, the workman very often does 
not get the wages he deserves, and he is right to raise 
his voice in these cases ; but in Australia it is his fault 
if at the end of a few years he is not independent." 



JOHN BULL & CO. 165 

My miner had already turned his back. 

I am ready to acknowledge that the times are changed, 
and that before long every worker will exact from labor 
independence and an honorable place in society ; but if 
the future belongs, and reasonably, too, to the worker, 
it is certain that it will never belong to the lazy or the 
thriftless. 

In a country where the Government sells land at five 
shillings an acre, payable in ten years, I maintain that 
every man who has a few pounds in his pocket can easily 
acquire independence, and will long be able to, since 
Australia proper has scarcely more than three million 
inhabitants, and the continent is large enough to accom- 
modate a population of more than fifty millions. 

The government of Australia by the workingman for 
the workingman is sublimely ridiculous. These Aus- 
tralian workmen who, for the most part, have come to 
Australia at the expense of English emigration socie- 
ties, are the same men who have forced the Government 
to stop emigration. There are no more wanted. Aus- 
tralia belongs to them. And what do they do ? They 
vegetate in Sydney and Melbourne, and the country cries 
aloud for hands to cultivate it. The hands are in the 
cities, with their arms folded, loafing about the public- 
houses and street-corners. The squatters are obliged to 
use their land in grazing cattle and sheep, which there 
is often no market for, because one man can look after 
thousands of sheep, but agriculture demands many 
laborers. If Australia were peopled with intelligent 
and hard-working cultivators of the soil, it might be the 
granary of the universe. Here and there you see a 
flourishing farm which has been made and developed in 



l66 JOHN BULL & CO. 

a few years. You find it belongs to a German or a 
Swede. Near the towns you constantly see kitchen- 
gardens in a high state of cultivation. Not an inch of 
the ground is wasted. In a corner of this garden is a 
hut occupied by the patient, hard-working Chinaman, 
whom the Australian despises, but whom he would do 
much better to imitate. The Chinaman is sober, minds 
his own business and gets up no strikes ; he goes on his 
jog-trot way ; he owns a horse and a little cart, and every 
year sends home to his country the money that he has 
saved by sheer hard labor. 

Meanwhile the workman of Sydney goes to Hyde 
Park to listen to the inanities, the balderdash given off 
by a lot of ragged wind-bags, professional loafers, para- 
sites whom the new communities of the far west of 
America would chase ignominiously from their midst. 
And what harangues ! I remember one great fellow with 
a low forehead and an immense mouth, Avith nonchal- 
ant gestures and a drunkard's voice, a ne'er-do-weel of 
the worst type, who bawled forth a discourse on Authori- 
tatisvi. 

The crowd stood around open-mouthed and staring 
their eyes out with trying to understand. The conceited 
idiot was so proud of the word that his mouth was full 
of it, and he repeated it at every instant. Presently one 
of the crowd politely asked the orator to spell the word 
and explain what it meant ; he was ignominiously ex- 
pelled from the circle. 

^' Anthoritatism,'' cried the ranter, "that is the source 
of all the mischief. Strikes are the only remedy." And 
as those who were listening to him had already all 
struck, and thus killed the goose that laid the golden 



JOHN BULL & CO. 167 

eggs, he advised them to devour what remained, namely 
the goose. 

If a loafer like this made a speech of that kind in 
Texas, Colorado, or any of the Western States, the 
population, not the authorities, would give him twenty- 
four hours to find some honest employment or quit. If 
at the end of twenty-four hours he had done neither the 
one nor the other, he would run the risk of seeing him- 
self suddenly promoted to an elevated position — at the 
top of a tree. Western America is a hive of bees, and 
no drones are allowed to establish themselves there to 
create disorder and preach laziness. 

The workman is loud in his demand for cooperation. 
But is it he who invents machines or buys them ? Is it 
he who risks his money in enterprises which may or may 
not succeed ? He is willing to share the profits, but he is 
not willing to run the risks. He demands that disputes 
between capital and labor be settled by arbitration. 
Very good ; but, suppose that the arbitrators give a case 
against him, he goes straightway to his companions and 
cries, " T have lost, and you call that arbitration, do 
you ? " 

Oh, the number of stories of workmen that were told 
me in Australia ! 

A journeyman-gardener, who had long been out of 
work, presented himself at the house of a Melbournian, 
and asked for employment. 

" I have nothing to give you to do just now ; however, 
since you are in want, you may tidy my garden." 

A few hours would have amply sufificed for the work. 
The man spent two days raking the garden, and clip- 
ping a few trees, which did not need touching. 



l68 JOHN BULL & CO. 

This being done, the Melbournian, who had employed 
the man out of pure charity, handed him twelve shil- 
lings. " What's that ? " cried the workman, indignantly. 
" Don't you know that a gardener's pay is seven and 
sixpence a day, and not six shillings? You are trying 
to take advantage of my misfortune. I do not work for 
less than seven and sixpence a day." 

The Melbournian vowed, but a little Uxte, that he 
would not be caught again. 

The Australian squatter is at the mercy of the labor- 
ers and shearers he employs. Some of these gentry do 
not even recognize themselves as bound by a contract. 
A vine-grower had engaged twenty workmen to proceed 
with his grape harvest. When the grapes were gathered, 
the workmen said to their employer : " Now, we want 
ten shillings a day instead of eight. If )'ou do not give 
us these terms, we shall leave off work to-day, and let 
your grapes rot on the ground." The land-owner 
ploughed up his vines in disgust, and this is not a soli- 
tary case by any means. Where the vines flourished a 
few sheep are now grazing. 

Meanwhile the workman loafs about the large towns, 
and listens to harangues on the tyranny of the squatter. 

Maid-servants earn from four to six pounds a month, 
yet for the least trifle they leave their situations, and 
complain of ill-usage. The only remedy for the evil 
would be the reestablishment.of polygamy. An Aus- 
tralian wife, like the wife of the Zulu, would say to her 
husband, " Really, John, I have too much on my hands, 
it is time you married another housemaid." 

Alas, one hears of evils everywhere, but of very few 
remedies. Each has his program of destruction, but 



JOHN BULL & CO. 169 

no one has a program of construction. I think we 
are very near the end of our patience. 

A well-known socialist, at a public banquet, was com- 
paring the modern workman to the wolves in the famous 
Russian story. 

" Yes," said he, " the man was in a sleigh with his wife 
and his children. Soon they were pursued by hungry 
wolves. To appease them the man threw them his pro- 
visions. The wolves seized the provisions and devoured 
them, and then they joined together again in their pur- 
suit of the traveler. He threw them one child, then 
another, then his wife. But still the wolves pursued, 
and devoured the man and the horses. Well, gentlemen, 
the workingmen accept your concessions, but I am too 
honest not to tell you that these concessions will not 
satisfy them. They will demand again, and continue to 
demand until they have obtained everything." 

He laid great stress upon everything. 

In other words, the man of the middle class has been 
a tyrant, and now it is the workingman who is going to 
tyrannize in his turn. 

The socialist in question had related the story of the 
Russian traveler very well. But he might have ended 
it. I will end it for him : 

It is true that the wolves devoured the traveler's pro- 
visions, his children, and his wife, also that they devoured 
him and his horses. But they did not stop there. They 
wanted to begin again next day, but at the turn of a 
road they met with a hundred armed men, who put an 
end to their insatiable pretensions. 



CHAPTER XVIII. 



The Religions of the Colonies — The Catholic Church and its 
Work — The Baptists and the Sweet Shops — Good News 
for the Little Ones — A Presbyterian Landlady in Difficulties 
— I Give a Presbyterian Minister his Deserts — Christian As- 
sociation of Good Young Men — The Big Drum or the 
Church at the Fair — Pious Bankers — An Edifying Prayer. 

According to the latest statistics published with 
authority of the Government, this is how Australia 
stands with regard to the religions professed by the in- 
habitants : 



Anglicans, 

Catholics, 

Presbyterians, 

Wesleyan Methodists, 

Primitive Methodists, 

Other Methodists, . 

Congregationalists, 

Baptists, 

Lutherans, 

Salvationists, 

Jews, 

Buddhists, Mohammedans, etc.. 

Other religions, that is to say, the 
hundred and one other dissenting 
sects, . . . . 

Persons who refused to say to what 
religion they belonged, 
170 



39.10 

21. IG 

13- 
9-50 
1.60 
0.30 
2.10 
2.30 
2. 

1. 10 
0.40 
1.20 



4.20 



2.10 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



171 



In New South Wales, the population of which col- 
ony is 1,130,216, the numbers are as follows : 



Anglicans, 


509,283 


Catholics, . 


286,915 


Presbyterians, . 


109,383 


Wesleyan Methodists, 


97,487 


Primitive Methodists, . 


20,352 


Other Methodists, . 


2,269 


Congregationalists, 


24,112 


Baptists, 


13,102 


Lutherans, 


7,904 


Salvationists, 


10,312 


Jews, . . . 


5,484 


Buddhists, Mohammedans, 


10,790 


Other religions. 


28,730 


Religion unknown, 


14,093 



Total, 1,130,216 
One cannot but be struck, on reading this list, by the 
progress made and the importance acquired by the Cath- 
olic religion in the English Colonies. This importance 
had also struck me in Canada, the United States, and 
the Pacific Islands. And yet, there is nothing aston- 
ishing about it, when one thinks how easy it must have 
been for those charitable and devoted priests, who con- 
secrate soul and body to the service of the poor and 
unhappy, and to the education and placing out of their 
children, to win converts among the struggling colo- 
nists, hungry for sympathy, and always ready to open 
their hearts to those who lead, like themselves, a life of 
privations and sacrifices. The life of these priests is so 
exemplary, that Australians of all creeds speak of them 



1/2 JOHN BULL & CO. 

with the greatest respect, and when they indulge in 
criticisms or jokes on the clergy, it is never at the ex- 
pense of a Catholic priest. 

The clergy of the Anglican church, that aristocratic 
and worldly Institution, do not attract the masses. As 
a rule, they themselves seek the best society. 

The pastors of the hundred and eighty and odd dis- 
senting churches rival one another in angular and intoler- 
ant piety, expending their energies in disputing over 
the interpretation of certain passages of Scripture, 
enemies of the most innocent gaiety, business men on 
the look-out for an income to maintain a family, often 
large ; how could such men compete for the affection 
and respect of the masses with the Catholic priests, full 
of the naive gaiet}', the innocent good humor, and the 
simple candor which are so often found in people who 
pass their lives in contributing to the happiness . of 
others, and in leading a life of complete self-abnegation 
and untiring devotion. 

But if the Catholic Church in the Colonies inspires a 
French visitor with nothing but respect and admiration, 
and the English Church with sentiments of respect and 
indifference, all the little dissenting sects furnish ample 
materials for edification and amusement. 

On the 2d of June, 1892. I read the following in the 
Melbourne Argus : 

" The opening of fruit and confectionery shops on 
Sunday, at which children spend the money given them 
by their parents to put in the missionary boxes at Sunday- 
school, was brought under the notice of the half-yearly 
session of the Baptist Association of Victoria yesterday 
by the Rev. Edward Isaac, w'ho moved : ' That this 



JOHN Buix & CO. 173 

Association views with the deepest regret the way the 
missionary money, given to the Sunday-school children 
by the parents for a specific purpose, is so largely di- 
verted from the proper channel, owing to the Sunday 
opening of fruit and confectionery shops. Further, 
that this Association would, with all earnestness, re- 
spectfully urge the remedying of this crying evil {sic) 
upon the attention of the Government, by passing a 
statute making the closing of the aforesaid shops com- 
pulsory between the hours of two and four o'clock on 
Sunday afternoon.' The resolution was seconded, and 
carried unanimously." 

This is protection with a vengeance. 

In the same paper was the report of a Chinaman hav- 
ing been condemned to pay a fine of half a crown for 
having worked in his kitchen garden on Sunday. In 
order to condemn him, the magistrate had had to un- 
earth an old unrepealed edict made in the days of 
Charles II., the Merry Monarch of burlesque reputa- 
tion. 

During my sojourn in Canada, a butcher of Montreal 
was condemned to pay a fine of eight dollars for not 
having knelt during divine service. It appeared that 
the poor fellow suffered from rheumatism ; but this did 
not exempt him in the eyes of his judge. 

Would you not think we were living in the days of 
the Inquisition instead of in the end of the nineteenth 
century ? After this, can you ask whether the Colonies 
are progressionist countries? 

The best is yet to tell. 

A few days before leaving Canada, I saw in the papers 
that the Presbyterians had assembled in solemn con- 



1/4 JOHN BULL & CO. 

clave to expunge from their profession of faith the arti- 
cle on infant damnation. The motion was carried in 
spite of violent opposition. Poor dear little babies — 
whom the old article of the Presbyterian faith made it 
so hot for — rejoice, for you have been accorded a chance 
to reform. 

I am not responsible for the following, which was told 
me — not by a Presbyterian. 

The keeper of a lodging-house, a lady with very de- 
cided Presbyterian views, only opened her house to 
those whose orthodoxy was as unquestionable as her 
own. However, business flagged somewhat, the house 
was half empty, and she pondered over many things. 
" Perhaps business would mend if I relaxed my views a 
little," she said to herself. 

One day an old gentleman presents himself at the 
door, looks at the apartments, and makes choice of some 
rooms. 

" Excuse me," says the landlady ; " before anything is 
decided, I must know whether you are a strict Presby- 
terian ? " 

" I scarcely understand what you mean," replied the 
worthy man. 

" Well, for instance, do you believe that all children 
w^ho die unbaptized will be eternally burnt ? " 

" Upon my word," says the new lodger, his memory 
perhaps alighting upon some unruly little imp of his ac- 
quaintance, " I should scarcely like to say all, but some 
will, no doubt." 

" I will let you the rooms," replied the good woman ; 
" some is scarcely to my liking, but at all events that is 
better than none." 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1/5 

And now let us take a taste of Presbyterianism in a 
New Zealand town. 

I had just returned to the hotel after having given a 
lecture on the Scotch, at the Town-hall. I was half un- 
dressed, when there came a knock at my bedroom door. 
It was a waiter bearing a card ; the Presbyterian min- 
ister of the town wished to see me at once on a very 
urgent matter. I bid the waiter show the reverend 
gentleman up. 

A man of about fifty, in the usual black ecclesiastical 
coat and white cravat, and holding a soft felt hat, ap- 
peared in the doorway, wearing a sad face. 

I recognized him at once as one of my audience that 
evening. For a whole hour and a half I had vainly tried 
to make him smile. He was on the first row. Those 
wet blankets always are. 

" Excuse my costume," I began ; " but you wished to 
speak to me on urgent business, and I thought best not 
to make you wait." 

" There is nothing the matter with your dress," he 
broke in ; " this is not an affair of the body, but of the 
soul. I have come to pray for you ; allow me to kneel." 

I was taken a little by surprise, and felt a trifle dis- 
countenanced, but I quickly regained composure. 

" Why, certainly," I said ; ^' with the greatest pleas- 
ure, if it can make you happy." 

He knelt, put his elbows on the bed, buried his head 
in his hands, and began — 

" Lord, this man whom Thou seest near me is not a 
sinful man ; he is suffering from the evil of the century ; 
he has not been touched by Thy grace ; he is a stranger, 
come from a country where religion is turned to ridicule. 



176 JOHN BULL & CO. 

Grant that his travels through our godly lands may bring 
him into the narrow way that leads to everlasting life." 

The prayer, most of which I spare you, lasted at least 
ten minutes. 

When he had finished my visitor rose and held out 
his hand. 

I shook it. 

"And now," said I, "allow me to pray for you in my 
turn." 

He signified consent by a movement of the hand. 

I did not go on my knees, but with all the fervor 
that is in me, I cried — 

" Lord, this man whom Thou seest beside me is not 
a sinful man. Have mercy upon him, for he is a Phari- 
see, who doubts not for one moment, and that without 
knowing me, that he is better than I. Thou who hast 
sent in vain Thy Son on earth to cast out the Pharisees, 
let Thy grace descend upon this one ; teach him that the 
foremost Christian virtue is charity, and that the great- 
est charity is that which teaches us that we are no bet- 
ter than our brethren. This man is blinded by pride ; 
convince him, open his eyes, pity him and forgive him, 
even as I also forgive him. Amen." 

I looked at my good Presbyterian. He was rooted 
to the floor, amazement written on his face. 

I once more took his hand and shook it. 

"And now," said I, "we are quits. Good night." 

He went away somewhat abashed, pocketing the mild 
reproof as modestly as he could. 

Here, again, is something in the same line which is 
not unedifying: 

In the month of May, 1892, I gave fourteen lectures 



JOHN BULL & CO. 177 

at the Centenary Hall in Sydney, a very pretty hall be- 
longing to a Wesleyan Society, who had let it to us for 
the purpose. I shall never forget the reception that 
the Sydney people gave me in that hall. Never did I 
address a warmer, more intelligent, or more sympathet- 
ic audience. In October of the same year I returned 
to Sydney, on the very day that France lost the great- 
est prose writer of the century, Ernest Renan. I had 
known the illustrious writer ; more than once had he 
given me the benefit of his counsel, more than once 
had he cheered me with encouraging words.* I was 
asked to give a lecture on him. To speak the eulogy 
of Renan, to talk of his life and his work to the people 
of Sydney, this appeared to me an opportunity of pay- 
ing a debt of gratitude to the memory of this man of 
genius. I accepted with joy. My manager again hired 
the Centenary Hall ; the public filled it in every part, 
and the press next day joined its applause to that of 
the public. 

The lecture was such a success, that I was requested 
to repeat it, and again I agreed with alacrity. But 
alas ! this lecture had not satisfied every one, and we 
had raised the most terrible and the most unforgiving 
of all wraths — the wrath of the bigots. 

A member of the Young Men's Christian Association 
of Sydney went to the secretary of the Centenary Hall, 
and represented the danger that the reputation of the 
Wesleyan Society was running in allowing the hall to 

*It was Renan who had made me happy one day, by saying to me, 
" I have read your John Bull et son lie, and although I laughed 
heartily at the eccentricities that you describe, your volume has 
made me love the English better." 



1/8 JOHN BULL & CO. 

be used for giving a panegyric on Renan, an " atheist," 
the author of the Vtc dc Jcsiis. This amiable person 
had (it may be said in parenthesis) received a free pass 
to all my lectures. 

The secretary of the Centenary Hall thought it his 
duty to protest. Thanks be, my manager held him to 
his engagement, and the lecture on Renan was re- 
peated with all the success that had attended its first 
delivery. 

Ah, heaven knows how I myself would have liked to 
protest against having to speak of Ernest Renan, that 
giant of grace and power, in a hall devoted twice a 
week to the worship rendered by a sect who have nar- 
rowed the Divinity, the Incomprehensible, down to 
their comprehension. 

What did Renan demand all his life long, if it was 
not the liberty to compose for himself the romance of 
the infinite, and the liberty to discuss every religious 
question ? Is not this Protestantism in its very essence ? 
The intolerance of certain dissenters is veritably epic. 
Here are people who exist simply because their ances- 
tors in days gone by combated for liberty of con- 
science, but who, now that the battle is won, have be- 
come intolerant even to the point of refusing to others 
that liberty to think, to act, and to discuss — in fact, the 
liberty to which they themselves owe their existence. 

And, setting aside the religious question, was there 
ever a man who lived a purer life than that of Renan, 
more perfectly consecrated to the search after truth 
and the amelioration of the human race 1 

But what did they know of Renan, these narrow 
Christians, and the good young man who, after having 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1 79 

accepted favors from my manager, played him this 
trick of a sneak behind his back ? 

The intolerance of these people is beyond concep- 
tion. When I arrived at Maitland, a rather important 
town in New South Wales, the Mayor and the Town 
Council were kind enough to give me a welcome in the 
Town-hall, and drink my health in a glass of cham- 
pagne. Among the townspeople who had accepted an 
invitation to the little gathering, was the vicar of the 
chief church, a charming, genial man. 

Next day several dissenters of the town (I do not 
remember whether they were Wcsleyans, Socinians, 
Baptists, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Swedenborgians, 
Plymouth Brethren, very certainly they were not Chris- 
tians), several dissenters, I say, attacked the vicar, with 
all the energy of bigots, " for having taken part in a 
reception given in honor of a man whose lectures were 
announced in the papers under the name of Comedy 
Lixtiircs " (sic). 

" Ah," said an Australian, " unco guid," to me one 
day, with a deep sigh, " you P'rench do not pass the 
Sunday in prayer as we do." 

" No," I replied ; " in P" ranee we have not to pass 
every seventh day in repenting of what we have done 
during the other six. Take that ! " 

And now, for the final touch, allow me to reproduce 
here the advertisement of a sermon which I extracted 
from the advertisement column of a New Zealand paper. 

" In response to nnmeroiis requests., 
the Rev. Pastor B. will, on Sunday next, deliver a ser- 
mon on the Vanity of Life's Pleasures." 



l8o JOHN BULL & CO. 

There were elaborate instructions about reserved 
seats, and entrance by side-doors. Then followed a 
synopsis of the performance, which read very much 
like a Surrey-side play-bill — 

1. "The Pulpit Upset!" 

2. " Deliver or Die ! " 

3. "God in the Mansion House ! " 

4. " Running his Horse for the Cup.'' 

5. " What ! Dear Lord, have you come for me ? " 

6. " The Corpse on the Bed." 

7. " The Good Angel at the Lamp-post ! " 

8. "Seen in a Dancing-room.'' 

9. "Nothing but what I stand in." 

10. "A Cannibal Song will be sung by the Tabernacle 
Choir." 

The line. Nothing Intt what I stand in, suggested the 
idea of a young Maori girl attired in a few cowrie 
beads, for in parenthesis was added, " Very delicate 
business." 

It was a brilliant idea to terminate the performance 
with a cannibal song by the Tabernacle choir. 

Bang-bang, beat the big drum, walk up, ladies and 
gentlemen. 

The Rev. Pastor in question was good enough to 
send me a ticket. 

He thought to do me a politeness, no doubt. May 
heaven reward him ! 

Under the heading of Signs of the Times, I read 
the following paragraph in the Sydney Methodist 
Gazette : — " There has been formed in our town a 
Bankers' Christian Association, the president of which, 
a Methodist minister, was formerly a bank manager. 



JOHN BULL & CO. l8l 

The directors, managers, and clerks meet together 
twice a week for prayer and the study of the Bible. 
One of the principal banks of Sydney is so well known 
for the piety of its directors and employe's, that it is 
often mentioned under the name of the Christian Bank." 

And the week after, the incorrigible Bulletin had 
the following in its own characteristic style : 

" ' A sign of the times ! ' Yes ! Also, it is character- 
istic of the average ' follower ' that his cash won't 
square, and that he goes away the night before the 
audit. The BULLETIN doesn't want to make any 
trouble at present, so it refrains from giving the name 
of the bank, but some day, perhaps, this paper will 
point out the institution in question, and then there 
will be a mad rush of depositors, and the management 
will have to heave the earnest followers down the front 
steps to pacify the raging mob." 

The fact is that the " Christian " banker is celebrated 
for directing his eyes towards heaven and his steps 
towards the frontier. 

Poor Australian bankers ! A fortnight after I left 
Australia, more than half the colonial banks failed 
one after another. Never did such a panic seize the 
financial world. A crash had been long foreseen ; but 
the most pessimistic of the prophets of evil scarcely ex- 
pected a collapse so rapid. 

Among Anglo-Saxons the most tragic scenes are 
generally accompanied by very comic ones. As in 
Shakespeare, the sublime and the ridiculous, tragedy 
and farce, go hand in hand. 

It was the Anglican Bishop of Sydney, Protestant 
Primate of Australia, who took it upon him to strike 



l82 JOHN BULL & CO. 

the comic note. Every one knows that in a time of 
pubHc calamity, in England or the Colonies, it is 
incumbent upon the Primate to compose a special 
prayer for the use of the faithful, a prayer to appease 
the wrath of heaven. The Common Prayer-Book con- 
tains, it is true, an endless number of special prayers, 
for rain, for fine weather, for peace, for the harvest, 
etc.; but the men who put these together did not fore- 
see such things as financial panics, and the Bishop of 
Sydney had to compose something new and suitable 
for the occasion. 

Here is the prayer that he evolved, and which was 
used in the church and in the family, in the year of 
grace 1893, that is to say, at the end of the nineteenth 
century — 

" O Almighty God, whose righteous providence or- 
dereth all things in heaven and earth, we beseech Thee 
to have mercy upon us as a people in this time of finan- 
cial distress and difificulty. We humble ourselves 
before Thee, and confess that we have often cared too 
much for mere earthly prosperity, and have not sought 
as our first object Thy Kingdom and Thy righteous- 
ness. From all covetous and selfish desires, and from 
inordinate love of riches, deliver us, we pray Thee ; 
increase in our land that righteousness Avhich exalteth 
a nation ; and remove, by the inworking of Thy Holy 
Spirit, all that now hinders the spread of godliness, 
equity, and concord among us. Grant this, we beseech 
Thee, for the glory of Thy holy name, through Jesus 
Christ our Saviour. Amen." 

With the first sentence omitted, this prayer would 
read like an invocation to heaven to punish the Aus- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 183 

tralians for their avarice, their selfishness, and their 
greed of money, by sending a financial crisis. As it 
stands, the only way in which I can read it is as 
follows : 

" Almighty God, whose divine providence ordereth 
the rise and fall of the markets, we humbly approach 
Thy throne to promise Thee that if Thou wilt reestab- 
lish confidence, cause the banks to reopen their doors, 
and the shareholders to receive good dividends, we will 
try to cure ourselves of avarice, selfishness, and greed 
of money." 

What an easy, comfortable religion is that of certain 
Anglo-Saxons, who, satisfied that the Divinity has 
nothing to do but look after His peculiar people, are 
forever putting up petitions in which are set forth all 
their little wishes and wants. 



CHAPTER XIX. 

The Australian Newpapers — The Large Dailies — Weekly Edi- 
tions — The Australasian — The Comic Papers — The Society 
Papers — The Bii/leim. 

Of all the achievements which Australia can justly 
boast of, there is not one which surpasses what she has 
accomplished in the way of journalism. 

I do not know, in Europe or in America, any papers 
which have more serious value than many which are 
published daily in Victoria and New South Wales : the 
Argus and the Age in Melbourne, the Morning Herald 
and the Daily Telegraph in Sydney. These papers, 
composed of eight, and sometimes ten, large pages, are 
sold at a penny, and are from every point of view as 
well edited and as well informed as the Daily News, 
Daily Telegraph, the Standarel and the Daily Chronicle 
of London. They have not perhaps the literary value 
of the Jo2irnal des Debdts or of the Paris Figaro, but 
they are much more complete in the matter of news. 
They strike a happy medium between the English daily 
papers and the American ones, being less sensational in 
style than the latter, but decidely brighter in tone than 
the former. 

One wonders with amazement how a country so young 
can keep alive, and even richly flourishing, such daily 
papers as these, besides numerous and excellent even- 
ing papers, such as the Evening Neivs, the Eeho, and the 
Star, in Sydney ; the Standard and the Herald in Mel- 

184 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1 85 

bourne. The Melbourne Age was printing a hundred 
thousand copies a day when I was in Austraha ; and 
when one of the partners withdrew, the sum that had to 
be paid to him was a hundred and fifty thousand pounds 
sterhng. It is really impossible to overpraise the spirit 
of activity that has rendered such papers an absolute 
necessity. 

Adelaide and Brisbane also have very good news- 
papers — the Register and the Aeivertiscr in the first- 
named city, the Courier and the Telegraph in the 
second. 

In New Zealand, too, you find first-class papers ; at the 
head of the list are th.Q Auckland Heralel, the Times, the 
Post, and the Press, of Wellington ; the Times and the 
Press of Christchurch, and the Otago Times of Dunedin. 

Most of these papers publish a special weekly edition, 
which attains colossal proportions. Among these the 
palm must be given to the Australasian, published every 
Saturday by the Melbourne Argus Company. In the 
editing, the importance, the interest, and quantity of the 
matter printed, it is a. journalistic to2(r ele /o7re, and noth- 
ing less. The Town and Country Journal, the Mail, the 
Leader, are also most remarkable weekly publications. 

Scientific and literary papers, comic papers, among 
which must be mentioned the Melbourne Punch, relig- 
ious papers, and agricultural journals — all interests are 
represented. 

For local news, every suburb, every little town, has 
its newspaper. I have seen them in little towns of a 
few hundred inhabitants ; every man makes it his duty 
to buy them, and, better still, there are some who make 
it a duty to read them. 



l86 JOHN BULL & CO. 

I pass over a number of so-called Society papers, which 
interest me but little. However, mention must be made 
of the Bulletin of Sydney. In its way, it is the most 
scathing, most daring, the wittiest, the most impudent 
and best edited paper I know. Nothing quite so auda- 
cious exists, even in America, where all sorts of journal- 
istic audacities are permitted. 

The tone affected by this paper is national, that is, 
anti-English. Its motto is, " Australia for the Austra- 
lians." All the political, social, and religious marion- 
ettes are treated with a cool impudence that is unmatch- 
able. 

The Bulletin is devoured by the masses, who delight 
in its democratic tone, and by Society, with a capital S, 
which finds in it the minutest details of the toilettes 
worn at a Government House ball, or at Mrs. So-and- 
So's garden party, as well as the most appetizing bits of 
gossip of the week served up with sauce piquante. 

The circulation of this paper is enormous. You meet 
with it everywhere : it is on the tables of all the clubs 
and hotels, not of New South Wales alone, but of all 
the Colonies, including New Zealand and Tasmania ; 
and if you go into the Bushman's hut, there are a hun- 
dred chances to one that you will find the latest number 
there. 

This paper exposes many follies, many impostures ; 
and the scourging it administers, without respect of per- 
sons, to snobs, humbugs, hypocrites, renders a service 
to Australian society. But that which counter-balances 
the good it does, and tends to make the publication a 
harmful one, is its alimentation of that very characteris- 
tic Australian trait — want of respect for what is respect- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 187 

able, and its encouragement of affectation in a certain 
section of Australians, by lending its columns to the 
chronicling of all their little sayings and doings. 

The Bulletin is constantly guilty of the very failings 
that it so cleverly satirizes in the public who read it. 



CHAPTER XX. 

Amusements at the Antipodes — The AustraHan Gayer than the 
Enghshman — Melbourne — Lord Hopetoun — The Racing 
Craze — The Melbourne Cup — Flemington Compared with 
Longchamps and Epsom. 

The Australian is still much too young to have 
strongly marked characteristic traits ; but of all the 
members of the great Anglo-Saxon family, I think he 
is destined to become the most easy-going, the most 
sociable, and perhaps the most cheerful. 

He is not, like the eastern American, the descendant 
of a sad, austere race. His ancestors were adventurers, 
and not fanatic Puritans, enemies of joy and happiness, 
seeking a corner of the worlci where they might freely 
give themselves up to their gloomy religion. 

You will not find in the Australian that dogged, ob- 
stinate perseverance, that bull-dog tenacity which has 
helped the English to do so many great things, and 
which still puts the Scotchman beyond competition in 
every enterprise which calls for privations, hard work, 
and indomitable tenacity. 

For the Australian, life has always been relatively 
easy. He had no formidable savage race to combat nor 
wild beasts to exterminate. Rigorous winters he knows 
nothing of. A sun, that lights and warms him, shines 
all the year round from an almost cloudless sky. 

Even the vagrant, who lives on the generosity of the 
squatter at whose door he knocks at sunset, needs no 

i88 



JOHN BULL & CO. 1 89 

otlier roof than a blanket, which, with his " billy," forms 
all his equipment. He lives in the open air. Even if 
brighter days should never dawn for him, he has enough 
to eat, pure air to breathe, he suffers neither from 
hunger nor cold, he is free, he has the sun to cheer him 
by day, and myriads of stars make his night beautiful. 
He can almost enjoy his life, which is incontestably 
pleasanter than that of the miner or the worker in a 
manufactory. In Australia, there is no real poverty ex- 
cept in Melbourne and Sydney. And even there, I do 
not know of any employment which would not allow a 
man, with a few months of thrift, to save enough to start 
a little farm in the Bush, if he were ready to be his own 
laborer. 

The Australian has quite a passion for amusement. 
There is no country in the world whose people flock in 
such numbers to theatres, concerts, exhibitions, all 
places of recreation ; there are no people who take so 
many holidays or enter with such keenness into all 
national sports ; there is no society that dines and 
dances quite so much as Australasian society. 

The pleasures of the lower classes are loud, and often 
vulgar ; but the Australian gives himself up to them Avith 
more gaiety than the Englishman. Look at John Bull 
when he plays a game of foot-ball, or stands up in a 
sparring-match. He puts on a frowning, almost fero- 
cious, face, that would make you believe that it is the 
honor of his country he is defending against some enemy 
who has sworn its destruction. 

An English ballroom of the present day is not always 
a scene of great gaiety ; there is a half-bored look on 
too many of the faces, and a lack of spontaneity about 



190 JOHN BULL & CO. 

the enjoyment of the dancing. At the Government 
House balls in Sydney and Melbourne, I was struck 
with the look of pleasure on all the faces ; it was not a 
duty — a function, as the English call it — that people 
were going through with. The dancing was full of 
spirit, and the dancers were really enjoying themselves ; 
the whole scene was exhilarating. 

And how could one help being gay at the Melbourne 
Government House, when the host was the young Earl 
of Hopetoun ? This young diplomatist is about thirty 
years old, has a face that is bright and smiling, an in- 
telligent forehead, and a delicate nose and mouth. He 
is witty and amiable, full of life, Grand Scignair to the 
tips of his fingers, immensely rich, and generous in pro- 
portion. Not only all his salary goes in hospitality and 
acts of generosity, but he spends his large income be- 
sides. When he has been Governor five years, and quits 
Melbourne for Europe, the Victorians had better put on 
mourning; they will never again have Lord Hopetoun's 
equal. 

But of all the amusements to which the Australians 
give themselves up, there is nothing that touches horse- 
racing for pojjularity. It is a dominant passion — a 
craze. 

The combative instinct of the Anglo-Saxon, the love 
of competition, of struggle, of chance, of adventures, of 
facile gains, the passion for the horse, which in Aus- 
tralia is man's companion from his tenderest childhood, 
— all these things explain the fever that seizes on the 
Australian, when a few horses, mounted by jockeys in 
multi-colored attire, are on the course quivering with 
impatience for the signal to start. 



JOHN BULL & CO. I9I 

I think nothing must astonish the visitor to Austrah'a 
more than to see the tremendous hold horse-racing has 
taken upon the whole population. During Cup Week 
in Melbourne, scarcely anything but racing is thought 
of or talked of. Every train that comes into the city 
for a week beforehand brings crowds of people from all 
parts of Australasia. In Europe, certain sets of people 
go to races ; in Australia, the whole population. Men, 
women, and children, of the best colonial society, have 
made bets on the horses ; business men, clerks, servants, 
the very vagrants, all are interested in the result. 
There is not a little corner in any part of the Australian 
Bush where the conversation does not turn on the result 
of the race. 

The greatest event of the year, in colonial life, is the 
Melbourne Cup Race. The prize is worth ten thousand 
pounds sterling ; and such is the betting done upon this 
race, that when the winning horse is announced, more 
than five hundred thousand pounds change hands. 

The banks are closed, trade is suspended, and the 
whole colony is breathless with feverish impatience, until 
the nam^e of the winner of the Cup is published through- 
out the length and breadth of the land. It is a national 
event, only to be compared, for widespread intensity, to 
the presidential election in America — with this dif- 
ference, that the Americans bet still more heavily on the 
event. 

I went to see the Cup Race. It was frightful weather, 
but in spite of the pouring rain, there were nearly a 
hundred thousand people on the grounds, that is to say, 
one-tenth of the entire population of the colony. Had 
the weather been fine, the crowd would have been much 



192 JOHN BULL & CO. 

larger still. In such weather, the Parisians would have 
hesitated at the idea of going to Auteuil or Long- 
champs, but here were people who had come a five days' 
sea voyage from New Zealand, others who had taken 
long journeys over land, others who had come from 
Tasmania, to see the racing ; and what was the rain to 
them ? 

There were the Governors of three colonies, accom- 
panied by their ladies and suites ; there were members 
of the Legislative Council, who, having just passed a 
severe Bill against betting, had adjourned for Cup 
Week; there was the pick of Australian society, with 
its brave array of lovely women in elegant attire. 

" Some important affair of State," said I to a friend, 
" is, I suppose, the cause of this rendez-vous between 
the Governors? " 

"Certainly," he replied; "the Cup Race is the most 
important event of the year," 

The racing takes place at Flemington, a village a 
few miles out of Melbourne. The race-course is vast, 
and all the arrangements perfect. Spacious stands, 
luxurious rooms of all sorts, lunch-rooms, tea-rooms, to 
suit all tastes and all purses, retiring rooms, toilet- 
rooms, refreshment bars, cigar divans, etc., where all 
articles offered for sale have been duly examined by 
the committee. Well might Lord Rosebery exclaim, 
when we went to see a race at Flemington, "This is 
not a race-meeting, it is more like a drawing-room 
entertainment," I should rather call it a garden 
party, with some first-class racing thrown in ; a 
gigantic national picnic, at which the organizers have 
forgotten nothing that can conduce to the enjoyment 



JOHN BULL & CO. I93 

of the party. No riotous behavior mars the scene, 
which, even on the flat where the masses congregate, 
is singularly free from coarseness and drunkenness. 

I could not help comparing Flemington with the 
two great national race-courses of Europe, Epsom and 
Longchamps ; and, as far as the arrangements for the 
comfort and enjoyment of the people are concerned, 
Flemington certainly stands first. 

As a spectacle and as a holiday, the Grand Prix at 
Longchamps carries off the palm. It is an unique 
sight. The crowd of elegantly dressed people in the 
endless stream of carriages, unmarred by a shabby 
turn-out, much less a costermonger's cart, the thousands 
of the working classes massed on the green slopes 
overlooking the course, the merry picnickings in the 
woods around, make up a scene that pleases the eye 
and gladdens the heart. A week's work has not been 
sacrificed over the merrymaking, nor a week's earnings 
gone in bets and carousings ; the outing does not 
result in a crop of police court cases, but a day's 
rational pleasure is taken, and refreshes for to- 
morrow's work. 

But if Flemington cannot show such a refined crowd 
as Longchamps, it exhibits none of the revolting 
rowdyism of Epsom. 

It is strange that in England, the very nursery of 
racing and of its raisou d'etre, the blood horse, the 
sight of that great English race, the Derby, should be 
spoilt by the disorderliness of the crowd. It is 
stranger still that, in England, the home of propriety, 
you should have to confront repulsive sights, which 
might easily be suppressed, if only a little decent 



194 JOHN BULL & CO. 

thoughtfulness were exercised in providing for the 
needs of such a mass of people out for the day so far 
from town ; not that even an angel from heaven could 
make an orderly crowd out of the terribly mixed 
material that flows into Epsom on Derby Day. 

At Flemington, you have a respectable crowd, com- 
posed for the most part of people who have come 
there in the hope of winning a little money. At 
Epsom, you have the British contrast of the unbridled 
luxury of the rich, and the vulgar revelry of the lower 
classes. At Longchamps, you have a rendezvous for 
high society, a iamily /etc for the middle classes, and a 
day of healthy recreation for the people. 



CHAPTER XXI. 

The Drama in the Colonies — Madame Sarah Bernhardt in Aus- 
tralia — Anglo-Saxon Theatres Compared with Theatres in 
Paris — Variety Shows — The Purveyor of Intellectual Pleas- 
' ures — An Important Actor — The Theatre in Small Towns. 

The Australians are great lovers of the theatre. 
English companies, composed of from sixty to eighty 
performers, do not fear to go to the enormous expense 
of the voyage. They carry their costumes and scenery, 
and, after a six months' Australasian tour, generally 
return much enriched. 

Madame Bernhardt herself had no cause to regret 
her visit to the Colonies. In Sydney, Melbourne, and 
Adelaide, three years since, she reaped an ample 
harvest of guineas and applause. I should not like to 
affirm that all the spectators knew enough of French 
to appreciate the delicacy, finish and power of the 
great tragedienne ; but they Avent in crowds to see her, 
and thus thank her in person for having been good 
enough to consider the Colonies as a field of operation 
worth exploiting by the greatest actress of modern 
times. 

Melbourne and Sydney possess handsome theatres, 
quite as well appointed as those of England and 
America, and the comfort of the audience is much 
more studied in them than it is in the Parisian 
theatres. When you have paid for your ticket, you 
are at the end of your trouble, and you have nothing 
to do but take your pleasure. In Paris, when you 

195 



196 JOHN BULL & CO. 

have taken your ticket, which is not numbered, your 
troubles begin, and this ticket only serves to bandy 
you from one tyrant to another : from the gentleman 
in swallow-tail and white cravat, with a salary of 
four francs fifty, who treats you with high and mighty 
indifference, to the bearded harpy who packs you 
away just where she likes unless you grease her paw 
with silver, and who worries you with a little foot- 
stool which you have no earthly need of, until you 
long to tell her to go, she and her wooden stool, to 
swell Satan's bonfire, and rid you of her purrings and 
whinings. Is there in this world a public more 
easily tyrannized over than that good, easy-going 
Parisian one ? Is there a city more bound down by 
routine ? Is it, after all, so impossible to have, in 
Parisian theatres, as in English and American ones, 
numbered tickets, that allow the theatre-goer to 
proceed in peace to the stall bearing the number of 
the ticket he has purchased, without being obliged 
to plead and tip attendants to obtain the seat that 
belongs to him ? 

In the theatres of all Anglo-Saxon countries — that is 
to say, free countries, where common sense reigns and 
the public is master — when you have bought your 
theatre ticket, it gives you the right to a numbered 
seat, to a programme, which is as indispensable at the 
play as is the bill of fare at a restaurant, and to a peg 
in the cloakroom upon which to hang an overcoat, 
without having to submit to the annoyance of a 
crowd of abject mendicants, who have no reason to 
be in the theatre except as obliging servants of the 
public. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 197 

The theatres I was speaking of do still better than 
this. They are all provided with bars, smoke-rooms, 
lavatories, ladies' cloakrooms — in a word, every con- 
venience which the managers think it their duty to 
place at the disposal of the public which brings them 
its money. 

If the Australian theatres are comfortable, the 
intellectual entertainments served up are mostly 
wretched productions. 

I saw a few excellent actors who have become, so 
to speak, Australian : Messrs. Brough and Boucicault 
(the latter is a son of the celebrated actor), Mr. 
Tetharidge in comedy, and Mr. Walter Bentley in 
drama and tragedy ; but the pieces that have the 
greatest success with the mass of the public are cock- 
and-bull affairs which the Montmartre Theatre would 
reject with disdain, a succession of songs and dances 
in costume, commonly called Variety Shows — a Folies- 
Bergere programme of the most vulgar and stupid 
description. There comes on the stage a man with a 
red nose, a bald cranium six inches high, surmounted 
by a hat too ridiculously small to stay on his head. 
He pretends to be helplessly drunk. He sings, dances, 
and falls on the stage ; gets up, sings and dances again, 
and again falls down. And this amuses the people 
for a quarter of an hour. Then there will appear a 
dozen girls, generally pretty and always lightly dressed. 
They dance, singing the while ; and they in their turn 
give place to some other mountebank, who will also 
dance. An Australian who cannot dance a jig would 
be a useless piece of furniture in the theatre. 

For her intellectual entertainments, Australia depends 



198 JOHN BULL & CO. 

upon Messrs. R. S. Smythe & Son, who have never dis- 
appointed her. These celebrated impresarios give the 
AustraHans an opportunity of hearing the greatest art- 
istes and the best-known European lecturers. Under 
their direction have appeared Madame Arabella God- 
dard, Mr. Charles Santley, Sir Charles and Lady Halle, 
Mr. Archibald Forbes, whose lectures on his experi- 
ences as a war correspondent had attracted all Eng- 
land, Mr. G. A. Sala, Mr. H. M. Stanley, and numerous 
others. 

Nothing is more amusing in the Colonies than to lis- 
ten to the speeches that the public force the principal 
actor to make when the play is over. (In America I 
have even seen an audience insist on a speech between 
each act. When the last act but one was finished, the 
actor excused himself on the ground of having to don 
for the last act a costume which it took him ten min- 
utes to put on.) 

Those speeches are generally composed of flattery 
addressed to the spectators. The actor comes forward, 
thanks the public for having honored him with its con- 
fidence, and promises in the future to continue to use 
all his efforts to merit the appreciation that it has ac- 
corded to him in the past. Then he speaks of his art, 
his receipts, and his private affairs. 

I one day heard, in Melbourne, an actor, who has 
made himself a reputation by his singing of comic songs 
and his dancing of jigs, make the following remarks in 
public : " Ladies and gentlemen, I have read in the 
papers of this city that Dan G. (the name of a confrere) 
and I had fallen out. I wish to give a formal denial to 
this statement. Dan and I have always been the best 



JOHN BULL & CO. I99 

of friends. We arc both successful enough not to be 
jealous of each other, and I beg you to believe that our 
relations are of. the most cordial kind." 

And the public applauded. 

Bismarck in Parliament, refuting the statement that 
he and the Emperor of Germany had quarreled, could 
not have made his statement with more seriousness. It 
was highly comical. 

But you should see the melodramas that are played 
in the smaller towns ; you could but admire the endur- 
ance of the public which swallows such stufT, and you 
could but pity the fate of those poor strolling players, 
knocking about from town to town, thankful when the 
receipts will allow them to pay their hotel bill and buy 
their railway tickets to their next destination. 

These plays are a succession of fifteen or twenty 
scenes, in each of which the heroine is on the point of 
succumbing to the infernal machinations of the tradi- 
tional stage villain, when the hero, who happens to be 
at hand, rushes to her rescue. The curtain falls, and 
the worthy folk in the auditorium breathe freely again. 
The curtain rises once more. The villain has succeeded 
in seducing the young girl. He announces to her his 
intention of abandoning her. 

" But I love you," cries the unhappy one. 

" What is that to me ? " replies the villain; " do you 
think I will have anything more to do with such a 
degraded creature as you ? Begone, or I shall kill you." 

But it happens that the hero is not far off. He 
seizes the villain, who, to keep his hand in, has killed 
the girl's father. The poor father had done him no 
harm, but when one is a villain in melodrama one has 



200 JOHN BULL & CO. 

a reputation to keep up. The hero then seizes the 
wretch, passes a rope around his arms, and ties him to 
a chair. The villain might go off, taking the chair 
with him, but he accepts his position as inevitable. 
He does not stir, but awaits his fate. He does not 
wait in vain. Scarcely has the hero gone for the police, 
when a friend of the villain, who happens to be there, 
cuts his cords and sets him at liberty ; but just as he 
is escaping, a friend of the young girl, who happens 
to be near, seizes the wretch, casts the cords around 
his arms, and binds him to the chair once more. He 
is very strong, this friend of the girl, so the villain and 
his accomplice content themselves with looking at him, 
without stirring a muscle, while he goes through the 
business. 

In the next act, the unhappy girl is wandering the 
country in search of a refuge. She falls fainting by the 
wayside. The villain appears on the scene, and roughly 
rouses her. 

" For ever in my path," says he ; " better make an 
end of this." 

" Do not kill me," she cries. 

Happily, a friend who happens to be passing that 
way — 

At the end of the twentieth scene the villain is caught. 
No one happens to be there to deliver him, and the 
play is ended. 

This tricky trash is made up by the actor-manager 
of the company, is advertised as " immensely success- 
ful in the Colonies," and is often signed with the most 
celebrated names of the day, especially those which 
happen to be on the public tongue at the moment. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 201 

Thus the production that I have just described was 
signed " C. H. Spurgeon." It was just at the time 
when the great preacher and philanthropist had died, 
and his name was on every one's hps. 

When Mr. H. M. Stanley had returned to Europe 
after having finished a brilliant lecturing tour in Aus- 
tralia, the plays of this kind were signed " Stanley " for 
several months. 



CHAPTER XXII. 

Railroads in the Colonies — You Set Out but You Do Not Arrive 
— ^A Woman in a Hurry — Mixed Trains — First-Class Travel- 
elers — Curious Traveling Companions. 

"In these days," has remarked a French writer, whose 
name I cannot remember, " people no kmger travel — ■ 
they set out and they arrive. ' 

In the CoU:)nies, you set out, but )'ou do not arrive. 

With the exception of the express trains between 
Sydney. Melbourne, and Adelaide, the speed is seldom 
more than ten miles an hour. They are indeed ordi- 
nary trains, and every time I traveled in one I thought 
that there was no safer place in this world than one of 
these colonial trains. You are sure to arrive safe and 
sound, but if you are in a hurry, a buggy is better. In 
France, we have the same word for funeral procession 
and ordinary trains, convoi. It is not so in Australia, 
but there is so much resemblance in the things, if not 
the names, that when we passed one of those trains I 
instincti\'ely lifted my hat. 

It is with the greatest difificulty in the world that the 
engine-driver succeeds in not arriving before the time 
stated on the railway time-tables. He does his best : 
stops at stations \\here no one wants to get in or out ; 
draws up at every shed on the line, in the hope of some 
one wanting to entrust him with a letter or a parcel ; if 
he sees a few bo)'s phn'ing foot-ball or cricket in a field, 
I verily believe he stops his train to look at them. In 



JOHN BULL & CO. 203 

spite of all this, it is as much as he can do not to arrive 
before his time. I have seen people stop the train as 
you stop an omnibus in the street. 

The colonials themselves take the thing in good part, 
and are full of amusing stories on the subject. 

Here is one among a hundred : 

The engine-driver of a train sees a poor old woman 
tramping along the road with a wearied step. Struck 
with compassion for her, he stops his train, invites her 
to get in, and says he will take her as far as the next 
station. 

" Many thanks ; I should be very glad to accept, but 
I am in a hurry," she replies. 

The state of things is easily explained, however. 

In the Colonies, the railways are made by the Gov- 
ernment and belong to the State. For reasons of 
economy, a narrow gauge was adopted, and it would 
be dangerous for running rapid trains upon. By going 
at slow speed, coal is economized, and as, outside the 
great towns, the population is not important enough to 
pay for the luxury of express trains, the Government 
is obliged to have omnibus trains, which, once a day 
only, stop at all stations, and, if necessary, in certain 
unpeopled localities, where sheds have been put up so 
as to allow some squatter of the neighborhood to join 
or leave the train, by making a sign to the driver to 
stop the train there. 

Besides this slow train there is a goods train, to 
which there is a carriage attached for the convenience 
of such persons as may not have a horse available and 
are too lazy to walk. This kind is called a mixed train 
in the Colonies. You find it also in the United States. 



204 JOHN BULL & CO. 

The Americans, who are notliing if not humorous, have 
given it tlie name of accoun)iodatio)i train. 

Give the Colonies time to dexelop themselves, and I 
guarantee that one of these days their trains will put 
those of the English South-Eastern line to shame. The 
express trains that form the communication between 
the capitals are already as rapid as the best European 
ones, and quite as comfortable. 

In New Zealand and South Africa, the trains have 
third-class compartments for the use of the colored 
population. In Australia, the blacks do not count for 
anything, and society is divided into two classes, first 
and second. Howe\'er, in a country where everyone is 
afraid of not impressing upon every one else the fact 
that he is as good as his neighbor, or better, I was not 
surprised to see the second-class carriages empty and 
the first-class all full, in spite of the stagnation of busi- 
ness and the fear of bankruptcy before the eyes of half 
the population. 

In England, when you ask for a ticket for any station, 
you are handed a third-class one. In Australia, unless 
)'ou mention second, }-ou are handed a ticket for first class. 

Many a time did I long to slip into a second-class car- 
riage to avoid the crowd and stretch out at ease among 
the cushions. It was not to be thought of. If ever I 
had allowed myself such a luxury, and had been discov- 
ered in a second-class carriage, the thing would have 
been bruited about, and all my chances of success shat- 
tered. The Australians are not a careful people exactly, 
but they are very careful of appearances. 

What queer traveling companions you may have to 
put up with ! 



JOHN BULL & CO. 205 

First, there is the bore, who arouses you from a 
sweet, refreshing sleep to give you the name of the 
squatter who owns the lands you are passing through, 
explains how the father came to settle there, tells you 
the fortune he made there, and relates in detail the his- 
tory of the family. 

The one I most dreaded was the man who recognized 
me, and, having heard one or several of my lectures, 
went through them again, interlarding them with com- 
mentaries, and explaining to me the points. 

One, a little bolder than the rest, but whose frank- 
ness I could but admire, picked them to pieces. 

Several times did obliging stationmasters reserve a 
compartment for our party. To such I owe an eternal 
debt of gratitude. 

Very often those people had the very best intentions 
in the world, I am sure; but alas! hell is paved with 
them, and is probably none the more agreeable for that. 
I was once tapped on the shoulder. " Hallo, Max, where 
is your compartment?" said a worthy fellow, with a 
frank and honest face. " I am going to travel with 
you. Come and have a drink before starting! " 

The good fellows offered me cigars, and did their 
best to make me understand that they were happy to 
be in my company. It would have been bad taste to 
be frigid with them. But I would fain have said to 
them, "A man who has been traveling incessantly dur- 
ing two years, who has to spend six, seven or eight 
hours a day in a train, and has to speak for two hours 
every night, appreciates as much quiet as he can get." 



CIIArTER XXIII. 

Spirit of Nationality and Independence — Local Patriotism — 
Every Man for Himself and the Colonies for the Colonials. 

Of all the English Colonies, I think that Canada is 
the most faithful to England. The proximity of the 
United States is the cause of this. If Canada were 
isolated, or situated at the antipodes, its spirit of 
national independence would be as strong as that of 
the young generation of Australia or South Africa. 
The fear of being swallowed up in the United States 
keeps the Canadians loyal to England. If they must 
belong to some one, they think that there is more 
prestige in belonging to England than to America. 
This, at any rate, is the feeling of the Canadian upper 
classes. Those who only think of the Treaty of Com- 
merce with the United States, which imposes a duty of 
thirty per cent, upon all merchandise crossing the 
frontier on either side, those people would be in favor 
of annexation to-morrow. As to the masses, as I have 
said elsewhere, they are divided into four camps. 

In Australia, national aspirations are very strong, 
especially among those who, born in the Colonies, have 
known no other country. To be sure, the Australians 
are as free as the English ; they govern themselves as 
they think fit, and have no tribute to pay to England, 
who, on the contrary, confides to them much capital. 
Only the presence of the Governor in their midst 
reminds them that they are not a nation, but merely a 

200 



JOHN BULL & CO. 207 

dependency, and this irritates certain Anglo-Saxons, 
who, brought up in the nursery of Hberty, do not under- 
stand why it is necessary to belong to anybody. The 
Governor governs much less than King Log; but there 
he is, and in the eyes of many Australians even this is 
too much. No one as yet thinks of demanding auton- 
omy for the Australasian Colonies, but the idea is 
germinating in the brain. At present the Australians 
beg the mother-country to be so good as to consult 
them upon the choice of a Governor. Soon they will 
exact it. Next, they will make their own choice, and 
eventually they may dispense with him altogether. 

In the South African Colonies, where the Dutch ele- 
ment is more or less hostile to England, this sentiment 
is much stronger still. 

The love of liberty and independence is so deep- 
rooted in the Englishman, that when he has established 
himself in one of the Colonies, he can scarcely under- 
stand why his new country should not be perfectly free 
and independent. His patriotism becomes local, all his 
interest becomes centered in the new country, and, 
curiously enough, the next generations born in the Colo- 
nies have almost a feeling of dislike for England — the 
England which has founded their country, but which, 
by sending it a Governor, reminds them that they do 
hot belong to a free nation. And the proof of this is, 
that the Australian or South African politician has 
not the least chance of success unless he poses before 
the electors as a patriot who will defend the interests 
of the Colonies against any encroachments attempted 
by the mother-country. 

If the Colonies should one day decide to proclaim 



208 JOHN liULL & CO. 

their independence, England will be powerless to pre- 
vent it. 

It will be her fault for giving them an excuse, but 
it will ever be to her glory to have given them the 
means. 

In founding new worlds in distant oceans, and in 
teaching her children to go and build up free nations, 
England deserves well of humanity. It is far more 
glorious to have founded the United States than to 
have conquered India. The United States provide a 
home for seventy million human beings, India pro- 
vides berths for a few thousand Englishmen. 

If the Colonies should declare their independence, 
England's prestige would suffer, but the evil would go 
no further. John Bull is so little master in his Colonies, 
that his products are taxed there as if they were enter- 
ing a foreign country. The service of the great steam- 
ship lines between London and Sydney, or London and 
the Cape, would not be interrupted. The only differ- 
ence would probably be the increased number of pas- 
sengers on board. 

John Bull is so little master in his own outhouses, 
that when the Chartered Company the other day took 
the resolution of exterminating the Matabeles and 
taking possession of their country, a territory almost as 
large as France, the English were not even consulted. 

"Stay where you are, " said the Company to John 
Bull; "we are strong enough to do the business." 

A few English protested, and the Government of 
Her Britannic Majesty ordered the High Commissioner 
for South Africa to demand explanations. Mr. Cecil 
Rhodes, Premier of the Colony, replied in the plainest 



JOHN BULL & CO. 209 

terms, requesting that the EngHsh would mind their 
own business, saying that he would mind his, and that 
he had no account to render to any but the people of 
South Africa. The Governor pocketed the reply, trans- 
mitted it to John Bull, who, in turn, pocketed it, and 
consoled himself for the snub by ordering his map- 
makers to mark in red Matabeleland, the new possession 
acquired by the firm, John Bull & Co. 

John did still better. 

The papers published the number of Matabeles killed, 
and the number of Anglo-African volunteers massacred, 
in the various engagements that were fought on Loben- 
gula's territory. And that which gives added humor 
to the terms chosen is, that the soldiers of the Company 
killed the Matabeles with Maxim guns, while the poor 
savages had only staves and assegais wherewith to mas- 
sacre the invaders of their native land. 

If the poor Matabeles had been provided with Maxim 
guns and Martinis, Mr. Rhodes would have intimated 
to John Bull the necessity of sending out to Africa sev- 
eral regiments of red-coats ; but as this was not the 
case, Mr. Rhodes and the people whom he governs by 
the grace of God and the good pleasure of Mr. Hof- 
meyr, can boast that the glory of having exterminated 
the Matabeles belongs to them entirely. 



CHArXER XXIV. 

Tasmania — The Country — The Inhabitants of Other Days and 
the Inhabitants of the Present Day — Visit to the Depots — 
Survivors of the " Ancien Regime " — A Tough old Scotch- 
woman — A Touching Scene — Launceston and Hobart. 

Tasmania has quite a European look. It is like a 
bit of Normandy or Devonshire, with its woods and 
hills, its flowers, its hedges of wild rose and hawthorn. 
Nothing- is grandiose, but all is pretty and picturesque. 
It is an English landscape in the most perfect climate 
imaginable. 

But how is it possible that a land so privileged by 
nature comes to be inhabited by such an uninteresting 
population ? I never saw any people more peaceful, 
more ordinary, more bourgeois, more provincial, more 
behind the times. It is the kind of people one meets 
in little country towns in England on Sundays after 
church. You may still see commonly in Tasmania the 
old-fashioned Englishwoman with long curls and a 
mushroom hat, the classic Englishwoman, such as George 
Cruikshank drew for the pages of Charles Dickens' nov- 
els. She is just as narrow and thin as he drew her, 
with a lenten face, and looking as if she lived on tea 
and toast. Happily, there are also plenty of pretty 
women to be seen, who are remarkable for their fresh- 
ness and beauty. 

Is it possible that this country, now so tranquil and 
in the full enjoyment of peace and plenty, can once 



JOHN BULL & CO. 211 

have resounded to the sound of clanking fetters, impre- 
cations, and cries of suffering humanity ? Can it be here 
that such scenes were enacted as Marcus Clarke de- 
scribed in his famous book, For the Term of his Natural 
Life! 

Tasmania was once a penal settlement, beside which 
our New Caledonia of to-day is a very Garden of Eden. 
There, English convicts were chastised with chastise- 
ments worthy of the Middle Ages or of the Inquisition. 
The slightest infraction of discipline was punished with 
the lash on the naked back of the unhappy wretch who 
had offended. The lash was the cat-o '-nine-tails, and 
the punishment often went so far as a hundred strokes. 
But all the horrors, are they not written in the book of 
Marcus Clarke ! At Port Arthur is still to be seen the 
place where these legal atrocities took place, in the pre- 
sence of clergy, and sanctioned by a House of Lords 
containing two archbishops and twenty-four bishops, 
who never lifted their voices against such infamy. 

The first shipload of convicts reached Tasmania from 
England in 1817, the last in 1853. In all, 66,243 con- 
victs were sent to this penal station between these two 
dates. 

A curious fact. Of all the countries of the world, 
Tasmania is the one where, in proportion to its popula- 
tion, the fewest crimes are committed. 

Tasmania has some old convicts whom she keeps in 
depots, where life is made as easy as may be for them. 
The director, who showed me over one of these build- 
ings, is full of untiring kindness to the poor creatures. 
Former sufferings have made lunatics of many, and 
maimed many others. A few of the figures were bent 



212 JOHN BULL & CO. 

double. Not one face that I saw betrayed a spirit of 
vengeance or hatred ; I even failed to discover a sign 
of anguish or misery. The eyes were haggard, and 
their hght gone out ; they betrayed no sentiment but 
resignation and indifference. The inmates have full 
freedom in the depot, wander freely in their gardens, 
which are public, and go into the town when they please. 
They are well fed, well clothed, and well cared for. 
The townspeople frequent their gardens, and the chil- 
dren play around them. They even have a theatre, 
where kind-hearted folk give them occasional treats in 
the way of a concert or a comedy. 

These poor wretches, whom I had talks with, seem to 
have forgotten for the most part where they came from, 
or to whom they belonged. They are no longer of this 
world. There are many of them who do not even re- 
member what they did to merit transportation. It is 
complete oblivion of life, a dazed numbness created by 
great sufferings. There was one among others, known 
by the name of Bill, who had been at Launceston forty- 
seven years. He is an idiot, and passes the days in 
laughter. Ask him what brought him to Tasmania, 
and he will reply, still laughing, " Handkerchief, sir." 
" Stolen ? " " Yes, sir." " Where ? " " Bethnal Green." 
Do not ask him anything else. Handkerchief — stolen 
— Bethnal Green, such is the sum of his vocabulary. 
The voyage out, the arrival in Tasmania, the labor, the 
punishments, the fifty-six pound fetters that were fast- 
ened to his ankles, the lash — he remembers nothing, 
not even his parents. Handkerchief — stolen — Bethnal 
Green ; when he is not saying these three words, he is 
laughing. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 21 3 

I went to the depot provided with some tobacco for 
the men and bon-bons for the women. 

I had divided the tobacco into eighty packets of an 
ounce each. I distributed these Httle gifts with some 
small money to these poor wretches as I met with them 
in the buildings and the gardens. On a bench two men 
were seated. I sat down beside them, and offered to 
the one nearest me his share. " Thank you, sir," he 
said to me ; " but you do not recognize me. You have 
already given me some tobacco and money ; will you 
give it to Jack, here ? he has not had any." 

In what strange places honesty will hide ! thought I. 
This poor fellow had not at all a bad face, but just 
looked stupid and resigned. I asked him what crime 
he had committed to be where he was. He did not 
know in the least. The director himself could not en- 
lighten me on the point. 

The thing that struck me most on observing the faces 
around was the absence of intelligence. Few of the 
countenances were evil-looking, but all were stamped 
with stupidity. And I thought of the saying of our 
great jurisconsult, " It is only the fools who are in the 
prisons ; the cleverest malefactors are at large." 

I left the men's quarters to go and visit the women. 
What a hideous sight ! Veritable old hags, worthy to 
figure in Macbeth, with toothless mouths, puffy, color- 
less faces, and tufted chins. A perfect nightmare. I 
gave them their sweets ; most of them asked me for to- 
bacco. They accepted the sugar stuff, but with scanty 
thanks. 

" The women give me far more trouble than the men," 
said the director. "They are less resigned, they are al- 



214 JOHN BULL & CO. 

ways grumbling, and when they go into the town they 
get drunk with the money that is given to them by the 
townspeople." 

There was one old soul who struck the comic note 
amid this chorus of grumblings and discontent. She 
was a Scotchwoman, to whom the magistrate had just 
given six months' imprisonment, which meant that for 
six months to come she would not be able to go in the 
town and get drunk. " Yes, sir, sax months for a wee 
drap o' drrrink, the blackguard ! " This, it seems, was 
one whom nothing can subjugate. When the six months 
are over, she is sure to roll into the gutter again. Mean- 
while she utters harangues full of threats. 

A touching scene. In the yard was a young mother 
undergoing a month's imprisonment. Her children 
were there with her, and ladies from the town had 
brought toys and sweets for the little creatures, who, 
ignorant of their surroundings, looked radiant with 
health and happiness. 

A curious detail. The director, pointing out to me 
one of the women, tells me that she and her husband 
have been forty years in Tasmania, and have met sev- 
eral times without recognizing each other. 

I am willing to believe this ; but, looking at the 
woman, a horrible harpy, with a snarling and repulsive- 
looking face, I think the husband must thank his stars 
that here, as well as in public baths, there is men's side 
and women's side. Recognize his wife ! Not he ! 

Tasmania has but two towns of any importance, Laun- 
ceston, and Hobart, the capital. The first of these has 
nothing remarkable about it but a superb gorge situ- 
ated at the entrance to the town, and a post office, the 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



215 



grotesque architecture of which, half Flemish, half 
Moorish, as it is, ought to be sufficient to keep the in- 
habitants in a constant state of hilarity. The gorge, 
along the bottom of which a rapid torrent rushes be- 
tween two most picturesque wooded hills, is inducement 
enough for any traveler to alight at Launceston. 




ENTRANCE TO THE GORGE, LAUNCESTON. 



Hobart is incontestably one of the loveliest spots I 
have visited. 

After flat, brown, dusty, hurrying Melbourne, it was 
dehcious to ramble about this old-fashioned town and 
its lovely hills. The tram-car bell had not yet tolled 
the knell of old-fashioned peace and graceful repose, 



2l6 



TOHN BULL & CO. 



but the rails were laid, and cars to run on them were 
being landed. 

Hobart is charming, whether you sit on the shore and 
look on the blue waters of the harbor, hedged about 
everywhere by ranges of grand hills, the foremost green 
with an almost English verdure, the more distant ones 
blue with a blueness very un-English ; or whether you 




HOBAKT, LOOKING FROM MOUN 1' WELLINGTON. 

wander up through the straggling town to make nearer 
acquaintance with the great hills that tower up behind 
it, getting a thrill of pleasure as Mount Wellington's 
grandeur gradually dawns on your senses. The splen- 
did roads, all the work of the convicts of former days, 
making walking a pleasure. The one which winds up 
by the side of Mount Wellington, and leads to the 



JOHN BULL & CO. 217 

Huon river, is delightful. When you are a couple of 
miles out of Hobart, on this road, you have a charming 
view of the quaint jumble of houses that forms the lit- 
tle town, the clear, smooth water of the harbor it sits 
looking at, and the sweet, waving blue hills beyond. 
Here, too, you get a better idea of Mount Wellington's 
four thousand feet of grandeur than when you saw the 
giant from the town, not but what there are days when 
it seems to hang over the streets, almost menacing in 
its magnificence. The air is perfumed with the odor of 
sweet-briar. Hedges of this plant, covered with roses 
of the brightest pink, delighted our European eyes ; 
but I am told that the Tasmanian farmer looks upon 
this thing of beauty as anything but a joy, and is for- 
ever doing battle with its bold tenacity of life. 

Ascending all the time, and leaving Mount Welling- 
ton behind, you by and by get glimpses of the ocean on 
the left, away out between the hills ; and the road winds 
along, under enormous tall trees, past deep gullies full 
of ferns and luxuriant flowering shrubs, past gigantic 
hawthorns that made one wish it was their flower-time 
instead of their seed-time. At every turn the scene 
changes. At one moment you are in a wood, and at 
the next there flashes upon you a sight of distant sea, 
and all the lovely country between you and it. 

Speaking of flowering shrubs reminds me that even in 
Austraha proper the wealth of wild flowers is remark- 
able. In that land of the one tree, there is an endless 
variety of wild flowers. Nature has been as lavish on 
the one hand as she has been niggardly on the other. 

With all its " Sleepy Hollow " appearance, Hobart 
takes the lead of the cities on the mainland in some 



21 8 JOHN BULL & CO. 

things. It was the first to open the doors of its interest- 
ing museum and picture gallery to the public on Sun- 
days. 

I would fain have spent a month wandering around 
Hobart. 

Sir Robert Hamilton had just retired from the Gov- 
ernorship of Tasmania, and he and his charming wife 
were on their way to Europe when I reached Hobart. I 
regretted this all the more, in that, having had the pleas- 
ure of meeting Lady Hamilton in England and in Ire- 
land, I should have been happy to spend a few moments 
in the company of this amiable and talented lady. 



CHAPTER XXV. 

New Zealand — Norway and Switzerland at the Antipodes — The 
Point of the Earth's Surface that is Farthest from Paris — 
The Towns — No Snakes, but a Great Many Scots — The 
Small Towns — A Curious Inscription. 

Of all the English Colonies, New Zealand is one of 
the most prosperous and by a great deal the most pic- 
turesque. 

The scenery is superb, a happy combination of all 
that Norway and Switzerland have to show in the way 
of gorges, lakes, and mountains. Add to this a perfect 
climate, a fertile soil, a well-spread population, intelli- 
gent and industrious, the upper classes of which are 
amiable, hospitable, and highly cultivated ; a native 
population, agreeable, intelligent, and artistic ; and you 
will admit that here is a privileged country where peo- 
ple ought to be content with their lot. 

For that matter they are. They certainly might be 
with less. 

I had not long to wait for the picturesque in New 
Zealand, for before landing at the Bluff, the southern 
point of the island, the steamer, out of pure amiability, 
went out of its direct route to enter the two most beau- 
tiful sheets of water of the south coast, Milford Sound 
and George Sound. 

The entrance to Milford Sound is just wide enough 
to give passage to the boat, which for nearly an hour 
follows a narrow channel between immense perpendic- 

219 



220 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



ular mountains. At every turn the scene changes, as if 
by enchantment. Scarcely have you fixed your gaze 
on some barren, rugged chffs, \vhen you have before 
your eyes a towering mountain clothed with ferns as tall 
as palm-trees, and of a bright green. Soon the passage 
widens and becomes a succession of little lakes, around 
which nature surpasses herself in chains of mountains 




MILFORD SOUND, NEW ZEALAND — THE MITRE PEAK. 



capped with eternal snow, gorges, cascades ; and the 
Bush, such as one only sees it in New Zealand, of a ra- 
diant green freshness, an apparently impenetrable mass 
of ferns and lovely plants. 

I had never seen anything so wild and picturesque, 
so entirely grandiose. I would have liked to be alone 
for an hour with this unique scenery. 



TOHN BULL & CO. 



221 



George Sound, a few miles farther south, is almost as 
beautiful as Milford Sound. 

I was interested to hear that if one could draw a line 
through the centre of the earth to the surface of the 
globe on the other side, it would come out a few leagues 
from Paris. Thus it is impossible, while on earth, for a 
Parisian to be farther from his beloved city than in 
George Sound. 




New Zealand possesses four important towns of from 
thirty-five to sixty thousand inhabitants — Dunedin, 
Christchurch, Wellington, and Auckland. It will not 
be long before the energetic population of Invercargill 
attains one of these figures. 

The lucky inhabitants of this beautiful country have 
every blessing that can help them towards success — a 



222 JOHN BULL & CO. 

perfect climate, a fertile soil, no wild animals, no snakes, 

and plenty of Scots. 

Dunedin, capital of the province of Otago, is as 

Scotch as Edinburgh,* and more Scotch than Glasgow ; 

so Scotch that the Chinese in Dunedin, in order to have 

any chance of 
earning their 
livelihood, are 
obliged to call 
themselves, not 
Lee -W a n g or 
Chee-Wang, but 
MacWang. 

Christchurch, 
on the contrary, 
is an extremely 
English town, an 
Anglican founda- 
tion with a choice 
society. It is not, 
; like Dunedin, a 

.'*' , ^ .^L. A. U centre of com- 

mercial activity: 
it is the rendez- 
vous of colonial 
aristocracy, the 
Mayfair of the 
Colonies. 
Wellington, at the south of the North Island, is the 

seat of government. The town is admirably situated, 

and has a picturesque harbor that brings back memories 

* Edinburgh formerly was called Dunedin. 







CHRISTCHURCH. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 223 

of Hobart, Tasmania. The largest wooden construction 
in the world is the Parliament House at Wellington. 
Its enormous dimensions do not detract from its grace. 
I found Wellington society delightful, most refined and 
charming ; and here, as in the great Australian towns, 
the doors of good society hospitably open. 

Auckland, a town of more than sixty thousand in- 
habitants, overlooking a beautiful harbor, is built on 










WELLINGTON. 



picturesque hills, from Avhence most beautiful views may 
be obtained. It is destined, by its exceptional situation 
and the energy of its inhabitants, to attain the import- 
ance of a Melbourne or a Sydney. 

The rapidity with which these towns grow is pro- 
digious. A commercial enterprise is launched. After 
a few weeks a public-house is built, a bank opens its 
doors, a newspaper is started, and population flows in 



224 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



and groups itself around this nucleus. In a very few 
years it has become a flourishing town. Not a soldier, 
not a functionary. This is what strikes a Frenchman, 
whose country is crippled by bureaucracy, bound down 

with red tape. 

A witty French 
traveler, M. Geor- 
ges Kohn, in his 
Voyage autour Du 
Monde, a volume 
full of clever ob- 
servations and un- 
flagging sprightli- 
ness, exclaims : 

" In our Colon- 
ies, the first build- 
ing is a police sta- 
tion ; the second, 
that of the tax-col- 
lector ; the third, a 
statistic office, and 
you have to wait 
for the colonists, 
who are to be 
looked after, tax- 
ed, judged, and especially counted by the census-taker." 
In the English Colonies, the population first, the in- 
tervention of government afterwards. With us it is 
the government first, the population — where is it ? It 
stays at home in France ; and when our soldiers have 
guaranteed the tranquillity and security of a country, 
the English, the Germans, the Danes, the Swedes, the 




AUCKLAND HARBOR, FROM CEMETERY GULLY. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 22$ 

Chinese, etc., etc., take up their abode there ; and the 
good French taxpayer at home asks, as he pays the 
bill, " Ce qiion est a lie /aire dans cette g'alere.'" 

I warrant that, out of our thirty-six millions in 
France, there are not five hundred thousand who know 
just where the French Colonies are. I warrant that 
there is not in France a single mother (that woman 
whose empire is supreme at home) who does not op- 
pose the emigration of her sons, and prefer for them 
situations as quill drivers at eighteen hundred francs a 
year. Try and found colonies while such sentiments 
reign ! The British Empire was founded by the 
spirit of independence instilled and alimented in the 
Englishman from his tenderest age, not only at school, 
but at home. 

Besides the four great towns, mention must be made 
of Invercargill, Oamaru, Timaru, Nelson, Napier, Wan- 
ganui, Palmerston, all towns of from three to six thous- 
and souls : Nelson, a gem, an idyll, a miniature Arca- 
dia, a sleeping beauty ; Oamaru, with its street of pal- 
aces ; Wanganui, with a monument, the inscription upon 
which is a chef-d'oeuvre of humor : 

" To the memory of brave men who fell gloriously 
in the defence of law and order against barbarism and 
fanaticism." 

You think, perhaps, that the brave men mentioned 
were the poor Maoris who were killed while defending 
their territory. Not at all ; they were the Englishmen 
who came to take possession of the country and de- 
prive them of their liberty. 

The towns of New Zealand are coquettishly built, 
the streets well kept, wide and straight. The large 



226 JOHN BULL & CO. 

towns all possess excellent museums and fine public 
gardens. 

The Australians, for whom a five days' sea voyage 
is a trifle, go in great numbers to New Zealand in the 
summer in order to escape the heat of their own coun- 
try. If New Zealand were not more than five days' 
journey from Europe, our tourists would flock there 
every year also. 



CHAPTER XXVI. 

The Maoris — Types — Tattooing — Ways and Customs — Native 
Chivalry — The Legends of the Country — Sir George Grey — 
Lucky Landlords — The " Haka " — The Beautiful Victoria 
— Maori Villages — New Zealand the Prettiest Country in 
the World. 

In Maoriland you find a race of superb men coupled 
to hideous women. With the exception of the young 
girls, and here and there a woman of a Jewish or an 
Italian type, who are passable, among the Maoris the 
fair sex is the male sex. 

The men are nearly all of the same type — tall, well- 
built, with a look of firmness and kindness in the eyes. 
It is easy to see you are in presence of a warlike but 
chivalrous race. ... 

The women are of many types, I have seen, among 
the female Maoris, Jewesses, Spaniards, and Italians, 
negresses, and even the Australian type. The skin is- 
of a deep bronze, the mouth enormous, the hair short, 
thick, and badly kept. The figure is of a heavy build, 
with large haunches and hanging breasts. When they 
are married, their lips and chin are tattooed. 

Nothing is more comical than to see, in certain towns, 
these strange forms decked out in great loose gowns of 
white or pink, humped by tournures and crinolines 
(over and above those with which nature has amply 
provided them), and great felt hats stuck with feathers, 
and, to complete the picture, the mouth adorned with a 

227 



228 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



short pipe, a regular navvy's comforter. These gro- 
tesque creatures have a coquetry of their own. Some 




PAIKIA. 
[Fro7n a Photograph by FoY Brothers, Thames, Neza Zealand.'] 



of them go so far as to have their backs tattooed, so as 
to be fascinating in the water when they swim ; and I 
one day had as much as I could do to persuade a Ma- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



229 



ori belle that on this subject her word was quite suffi- 
cient for me. 

With the men, tattooing has long been out of fashion, 
but among the older Maoris I saw marvelous exam- 
ples of the practice. The forehead, nose, and cheeks 
are covered with a freehand design in dark blue, mak- 
ing the face repulsive but picturesque. 




MAORI GREETING — RUBBING NOSES. 
\_Frofn a Photograph by Burton Bros., Dunedin, Nezu Zealand.^ 

The Maori men are Grands Seigjtetirs, who make 
their women wait upon them, but who never ill-treat 
them. They adore children, and make excellent 
fathers. 

When two Maoris meet, they are quietly demonstra- 
tive in their greetings. They press each other's hands. 



230 JOHN BULL & CO. 

and remain, while one might count twenty, nose laid 
against nose, without movement, without speech — a 
few instants of mute exultation, of friendly ecstasy. 

Their language is the softest in the world. Like 
those of the Samoans and Hawaiians, it contains, I am 
told, only thirteen letters. It is K, P, L,.N that you 
seem to hear all the time. Here is some Maori ; it is 
the notice posted in all the New Zealand railway sta- 
tions : " Kaua e Kai paipa Ki Konei " (Smoking is Pro- 
hibited). It has very much the sound of Greek, has it 
not? 

The volubility of the women is prodigious. It is a 
torrent, an avalanche of words. There are talkative 
women in all countries, but you would search the world 
in vain for a human being who could compete with a 
Maori woman. You should see these gossips sitting in 
the sun in a circle, pipe in mouth; above all, you should 
hear them ! To get a faint idea of their chatter, pic- 
ture to yourself a swarm of sparrows around a handful 
of crumbs. The conversation does not seem to consist 
of questions and answers, or of remarks suggested one 
by the other ; all speak at once, without looking at one 
another, without appearing to listen one to the other, 
and loudly enough to make themselves giddy in a few 
moments. There is no pausing to take breath. While 
one cries at the top of her voice, " Kolomo, Kalolulu, 
tarakiti, pikiinolaka, rarapa; " another vociferates, 
" Kikiriki, ratatata, molakolululu;'' the others accom- 
panying with, '■'■ Karawera, Ratapuni, Kolololu, Molokit- 
lo; " then all start together in chorus. It sets one's 
head whirling to listen to it. The faces of these women 
remain immobile, and have a slight smile. What a pity 



JOHN BULL & CO. 231 

that jealousy should be unknown among them ! a scene 
of jealousy, a war of words, between two of these chat- 
terboxes would be something never to be forgotten. I 
have seen men try to take part in the conversation. 
They mildly ventured to give forth a " Kolokulu " or 
two, which no doubt signified, " Have you a moment to 
spare ? " Then they sat down, and, having apparently 
given up all hope of getting a word in edgewise, 
listened calmly to the babble, or composed themselves 

to sleep. 

The Maoris look on the married woman from the 
French rather than the English standpoint, when there 
has been a breach in the marriage bond. 

It is true that the wife owes obedience to her hus- 
band, but he, on his side, is bound to treat her well. 
The wife is a servant, but not a slave, and her good con- 
duct depends upon the treatment she receives from her 

husband. 

The Englishman, deceived by his wife, says to him- 
self, " If some one had stolen my horse, I should be 
entitled to damages ; now I have a still stronger claim 
to damages, since it is my wife that I have been robbed 
of." He pleads before the civil court, and demands 
monetary compensation from his wife's lover for the 
"alienation of her affections." The Englishman does 
not say to himself, " My wife differs from my horse in 
that she can think, and if she has been unfaithful to me, 
there is no robbery, since she has not been taken by 
force, but has acted with her eyes open." 

In France, it is the husband of an unfaithful wife 
who is covered with ridicule, and not she who is covered 
with shame ; and, to explain the error of her conduct, 



232 JOHN BULL & CO. 

the public looks for defects in him, and seeks excuses 
for her. 

Among the Maoris, when a wife deceives her hus- 
band, people say, " If he had treated his wife well, this 
thing would not have happened ; " and until the truth 
of the matter has been sifted out, the husband is looked 
askance at. If it is discovered that he has not been a 
good husband, and that his wife had fair reason to con- 
sider herself ill-used, her tribe often takes revenge by 
making raids on the " pah " to which the husband 
belongs, and pillaging the huts ; and the husband's 
people admit the justice of the proceeding by allowing 
themselves to be plundered without trying to defend 
their belongings, and without even making a com- 
plaint. 

The Maori does not exact that hisjiaiiccc should be 
virtuous, and she very seldom is ; but when he has mar- 
ried her, he demands that she shall be faithful to him, 
and it is very rarely that his conduct to his wife fur- 
nishes her with an excuse for going wrong. 

When two Maoris are taken flagrante delicto^ they 
are tied together and exposed for three days to the in- 
sults of their fellow-creatures, who spit on them and 
subject them to all kinds of ignominy. At the end of 
three days, they are driven out of the tribe, and the 
reprisals which I spoke of above take place, if the con- 
duct of the husband toward his wife has given her any 
ground of excuse for infidelity. 

Adultery is an offence keenly felt among the Maoris, 
and it has often been the cause of desperate fights be- 
tween different tribes. 

The Maoris have a vivid and poetical imagination. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 233 

This is how a Maori expressed himself on the beauty 
of EngHsh women : 

" Beauty in our women is Hke a lovely spring day. 
A squall arises, and all has disappeared. The English 
women's beauty lasts longer. They are lovely as the 
morning. Roses are mantling on their cheeks, and the 
azure of the firmament is reflected in their eyes." 

They have some exquisitely poetical legends. The 
Maoris tell their children that, at the beginning of the 
world, the Heaven and the Earth were married, but that 
they were separated by their children, the winds. " Up 
to this time they have remained separated. Yet their 
mutual love still continues — the soft warm sighs of her 
loving bosom still ever rise up to him, ascending from 
the woody mountains and valleys, and men call these 
mists ; and the vast Heaven, as he mourns through the 
long nights his separation from his beloved, drops fre- 
quent tears upon her bosom, and men, seeing these 
call them dewdrops." * 

The Maori mythology, full as it is of the most poet- 
ical and fantastic legends, shows what an imaginative 
mind this race has always had. 

Sir George Grey has collected all these legends and 
published them in English, and in the Maori language, 
of which he is a perfect master. This is one of the 
least of the things that Sir George Grey has done for 
New Zealand. Late Governor-in-Chief of New Zealand, 
he is the greatest administrator that England ever sent 
to her Colonies. His name is still venerated in South 
Africa, as it is in New Zealand. Arriving in the latter 
country in most troublous times, the first thing he did 

* Sir George Grey's Polynesian Mythology. 



234 JOHN BULL & CO. 

was to master the Maori language, so as to be able to 
hear and understand for hifhself the grievances of the 
chiefs, and he grew so fond of the people that he has 
lived among them ever since, ruhng over them in a 
spirit of justice, consideration, conciliation, and modera- 
tion. To this day the Maoris swear by him, and look 
upon him as their guardian angel, although he no longer 
governs them, but sits in the New Zealand Parliament 
as an ordinary member, keenly watching over their in- 
terests. If England always sent to her Colonies repre- 
sentatives of the stamp of Sir George Grey, her name 
would be venerated wherever the Union Jack floats. 

The Maoris are lazy and proud. They pass their time 
in sleeping, smoking, and lounging in the sun in a deli- 
cious otiuni cum dignitatc. In Africa, the aborigines 
are servants, carters, drovers, errand boys, general handy 
men ; in short, they work for the whites. The Maori 
does not work for the whites ; it is the whites who 
work for him. Only the women will make themselves 
useful. 

The Maoris are admirably treated by the English, 
who have left them, in the centre of the North Island, 
a large territory with undisputed possession, called 
King's Country. They let their land to the English, 
and live on their rents, and there is humor in English 
people having Maoris for landlords. Some of them 
enjoy large revenues. I heard of one whose income 
amounted to fifteen thousand pounds a year. 

Near Wanganui I saw English workmen making a 
pirogue for some Maoris, and actually executing Maori 
carvings, while their dusky employers, voluptuously 
stretched on the grass smoking their pipes, gave them 



JOHN BULL & CO. 235 

directions without even taking the trouble to raise them- 
selves. 

The Maoris are a licentious people. Their dances 
are obscene ; the carvings with which their houses are 
ornamented are grossly indecent ; their god is Priapus, 
and their actions and language show that phallus is a 
fixed idea with them. 

The Jiaka, a madly intoxicating dance, is a saraband 
where men and women bound and writhe, indulging in 
all kinds of revolting gestures. I only saw a mild fam- 
ily haka, a dance quite anodyne and most proper com- 
pared to the veritable haka, which I took on trust. 
Human nature interests me everywhere, and I resign 
myself to nearly every sight, sound, and even often 
smell, to get a clearer insight into the ways of the peo- 
ple among whom I happen to be ; but there are times 
when it is necessary to draw the line and not go to ex- 
tremes, and if there is an extreme in this world it is the 
Maori Jiaka. This dance is now prohibited by the Eng- 
lish. In its mad fascination the Maoris lose all self- 
control, and abandon themselves, in shameless fashion, 
to the most revolting acts. It is a frightful saturnalia, 
but has such an irresistible attraction for them that, 
when once begun, the whole neighborhood pours in and 
joins in the dance, which continues till exhaustion su- 
pervenes. 

In a Maori house, in the neighborhood of Wanganui, 
I had the honor of making the acquaintance of Wic,* 
in her time a famous Maori belle. She was lying on 
the floor smoking a pipe. She rose and shook hands 
with me. The ex-siren is over forty, but still has rem- 
* Abbreviation for Victoria. 



236 JOHN BULL & CO. 

nants of great beauty. For a long time she led a loose 
life in the cities, but she has now returned to the fold, 
and become the docile and faithful wife of a Maori. 
She smokes her pipe and dreams of youthful triumphs, 
and her husband is so proud of his bargain that he ex- 
empts her from all manual labor. It is related of her 
that she was one night in the box of a theatre, where 
gentlemen had taken her to see a troop of Maoris per- 
form. She was attired in European evening-dress. 
Presently the liaka begins, but, of course, a very well- 
behaved one, so as not to shock the audience too much. 
This does not suit Wic, who thinks the sport rather 
slow. Moreover, she grows hot with shame and anger 
at the idea that the haka is going on and she is not of 
it. The sight of the dance, proper and restricted though 
it be, electrifies her. She cannot stand it any longer. 
Away with the dress, the corset, and the rest. In the 
twinkling of an eye she is free. With a bound she leaps 
onto the stage, leads the dance, and, by her yells and 
excitement, works the others up to such a pitch of delir- 
ium that the audience, horrified and fearful, make for 
the doors in all haste, leaving Wic and her comrades in 
full possession to finish their Sabbath. 

The paJi, or Maori village, is a collection of wooden 
cabins surrounded by a fence, nearly every post of 
which is surmounted by a grinning manikin in wood, 
with protruding tongue, crooked legs, hands crossed 
over the stomach, a huge mouth, and oblique eyes of 
mother-of-pearl. This horribly grimacing figure reap- 
pears on each side and over the door of every cabin. 

The house consists of one large square room, the 
walls and the floor of which are covered with woven 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



237 



matting. The roof descends to the ground on either 
side, and is arched over the door, pagoda fashion. The 
interior of the hut is used as a dormitory, where the 
sexes are divided, as in pubHc baths, minus the partition. 
Not more than thirty or forty years ago, the Maoris 
were cannibals ; but see how times have changed them ! 
To-day, four Maoris are members of the New Zealand 




MAORI PAH. 
{Front a Photograph by Burton Bros., Dunedin, New Zraiand.} 



Parliament, and one of them is said to have assisted 
in his youth at cannibal feasts, where the inemu con- 
sisted of human steaks and tit-bits. These Maoris are 
in Parliament to defend the rights and interests of the 
natives. 

Does not a fact like this help us to understand the 
success of the undertakings of the firm, John Bull & Co. ? 



238 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



In all parts of New Zealand, even in King's Country, 
the Maoris go to school, and they shine everywhere by 
their intelligence. Some of them at present occupy 
honorable posts in Government offices. But such is the 
nomadic and wild instinct of the race, that when a Maori 
is seized with an irresistible impulse to leave the town 
and revisit \i\s pah, he seldom returns. 




BUSH CREEK, NEW ZEALAND. 
[From a Phutograt>h by J. Valentine & Son, Dundee.'\ 



Drink, contact and intermarriage with the whites, 
etiolate the Maoris, and in every part of New Zealand 
except King's Country, where they lead their natural 
life, their numbers are rapidly decreasing. 

Adieu, New Zealand, most beautiful of lands. Often 
I think of thy poetical legends, and feast my eyes again 
in imagination on thy lovely landscapes ! I would fain 



JOHN BULL & CO. 239 

enjoy again the hospitality of thy kind inhabitants, and 
Hsten to the Hquid language of thy natives. I fancy 
I hear again their melodious Mokololulu, Kirikitata, 
Warakewera, Waramanatikipu. 
Good-bye ! Ta-ta ! 



CHAPTER XXVII. 

From Melbourne to the Cape of Good Hope — The Australasian 
— Sunday on Board Ship — Conversions — Death of a Poor 
Mother — Ceremony — Table Bay — Arrival at Cape Town. 

Several companies send from London to Australia 
ships which touch at the Cape on the vv^ay ; but only 
the Aberdeen Hners go from AustraHa to the Cape ; 
the others continue their route around the world by 
Cape Horn and Rio Janeiro. There is consequently 
no choice. 

I remember having read in Mr. Froude's interest- 
ing Oceana, that the great historian had made the voy- 
age from England to Melbourne on board the Anstra- 
lasian. Seeing by the papers that this ship was about 
to sail, I said to myself, "If the Australasian is good 
enough for Mr. Froude, it is certainly good enough for 
me," and I went forthwith to engage cabins. 

The distance from Melbourne to the Cape is about 
six thousand miles. The Australasian does the voyage 
in twenty-two days. Twenty-two days lost out of one's 
life, spent in doing nothing ; the most monotonous, the 
most wearisome interval, during which not one glimpse 
of land is to be had. 

Never mind, thought I, I shall utilize those twenty- 
two days for work. 

Work ! Alas ! man proposes, but the sea indisposes. 

And the Sundays ! Oh, the Sundays ! Even the 
harmless games that are played on board ship on week- 

240 



JOHN BULL & CO. . 24 1 

days are suspended. It would be shocking to play a 
game of quoits ; chess, I suppose, would be criminal. 
If you were to propose an innocent game of beggar-iny- 
ncigJibor, the passengers would veil their faces in dis- 
may at your boldness. Reading and hymn-singing are 
the only pastimes tolerated. It is curious the connec- 
tion there is in some minds between high sanctity and 
flat music. Those who cannot sing, lounge about the 
ship and read and yawn away the day, and long for the 
Monday. We are thirty-two passengers in the saloon. 
Out of these there are not two who do not express their 
regrets at having to pass their Sundays thus, but, mind 
you, there is not one who dares venture to be frank and 
sincere and to act according to his conscience. It is the 
fear of the qu' en dira-t-on in all its idiocy; it is cowardice 
pure and simple. 

It is impossible to travel on an English boat without 
having the bore who seeks to convert you, and that be- 
fore trying to find out whether his victim may not hap- 
pen to be as good a Christian as he. He was on board 
the Australasian. Every Sunday he held classes in the 
saloon. He had succeeded in persuading half a dozen 
passengers to go and hear him re-ad a chapter of the 
Bible and discuss its contents. He had his own views. 
Where is the true-born Englishman who has not his own 
views on theology? It is a craze. I know few English- 
men Avho would not be able to preach a sermon to their 
neighbors, and found a new religion. 

This good man declared music to be " one of the 
snares of Satan," and every time we made a little music 
on deck to enliven our evenings, he kept away. The 
English nation alone can boast of producing this species. 



242 JOHN BULL & CO. 

and no nation in the A\orld thinks of being jealous of 
the production. 

Day followed day, and each resembled the one before. 

Not a single incident to break the monotony of the 
three weeks' passage. 

Or rather, yes, there was one, and a very pathetic 
one, too. 

We had among the second-class passengers a gentle 
old woman of over seventy, the mother of two married 
daughters, one living at the Cape, the other in Aus- 
tralia. Having lost her husband, the good soul had 
realized the little money at her disposal and had gone 
to her daughter at the Cape to seek a home with her. 
This daughter had sent her on to the sister in Austra- 
lia, but the poor woman was not to find rest there. 
Her son-in-law w^ould none of her, and she had been 
fain to embark for the Cape again to see if daughter 
number one would not give her shelter for her re- 
maining days. 

Struck with apoplexy, she died in mid-ocean. The 
previous Sunday I had noticed her at divine service, 
dressed in her best, and looking almost happy. Her 
corpse was sewn up in canvas, covered with the Union 
Jack, and brought on deck. Surrounded by passengers 
and crew, the captain read the burial service, and at 
the moment where the words, '' I commit thy body to 
the deep," were substituted for, " Dust to dust and 
ashes to ashes," the boat stopped steam, and the sail- 
ors, who retained the body by cords, lowered it into 
the sea amid impressive silence. The boat, having 
deposited its burden in the ocean, steamed ahead 
again. The dead woman's purse contained two shil- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 243 

lings and sevenpence half-penny, and the daughter she 
wanted to join at the Cape lived sixty miles from Cape 
Town ! 

The poor mother had found rest, and there was no 
need now for her children to trouble about her ; at last 
they were rid of that useless piece of furniture which 
the lower-class English call mother. 

A few flying-fish, from time to time a school of por- 
poises, once or twice a whale — beyond that nothing. 
The blue sky overarching the blue sea. 

At last, on the 2d of April, 1893, we sighted the 
coast of Africa, and soon we were following it pretty 
closely from Algoa Bay to Table Bay, in which nestles 
Cape Town, the capital of Cape Colony. 

Before entering Table Bay, we passed Danger Point, 
where in 1852 the transport ship Birkenhead came to 
grief and sank, while the soldiers on board, seeing death 
inevitable, said " Good-bye " to the world by singing 
" God Save the Queen." 

I do not know any town more picturesquely situated 
than Cape Town. The houses are dotted over an area 
of four or five miles, at the foot of three mountains, the 
central one of which stands up four thousand feet into 
the air, and has a breadth of two miles at the top. 
The summit of this, Table Mountain, is an immense 
plateau, which, seen from the sea, is perfectly horizon- 
tal. Often it is covered with clouds that spread over 
its surface and fall on either side, giving just the appear- 
ance of a white tablecloth. It looks as if the table were 
spread for some Titan of those parts. 

The clouds have melted, the sun goes down in ^i bed 
of gold, throwing its fires on every corner of the pano- 



244 JOHN BULL & CO. 

rama. An hour later, the moon inundates the scene 
with her ghostly light. The engines are stopped, and 
the boat lies in the offing, ready to continue her journey 
to-morrow. 

Not a sound reaches our ears as we lie at anchor. 
Only the thousands of lights glittering in the town re- 
mind us that we are among our fellow-creatures once 
more. 

We shall land to-morrow morning. 



CHAPTER XXVIII. 

Anglo-Dutch — John Bull, Charged with the Care of the Cape for 
the Prince of Orange, Keeps it for Himself — Mixture of 
Races — Cape Town — The Town and its Environs — Paarl — 
The Huguenots — Stellenbosch— Happy Folk — Drapers' As- 
sistants—Independence a Characteristic Feature of the 
South Africans. 

South Africa is composed of two English colonies, 
one of which, Cape Colony, is very Dutch ; of two inde- 
pendent Dutch republics, which are perfectly English ; 
of several territories, such as Bechuanaland, Mashona- 
land, Zululand, Pondoland, Basutoland, Nyassaland, 
Matabeleland, and of a few other little lands protected 
by the firm, John Bull & Co. 

At the beginning of the century the Cape was still 
a Dutch colony, but the English, fearing that Napoleon, 
who had just placed his brother Louis on the throne of 
Holland, might make use of the Cape to possess him- 
self of India, installed themselves there in 1806 to take 
care of it for the Prince of Orange, dethroned by Buona- 
parte. 

Now, one of John Bull's mottoes is that of the late 
Marshal MacMahon, "/j/ svds.fy reste " — Here I am, 
and here I stay. He was in the Cape, and he stayed 
there. You would more easily withdraw a lump of but- 
ter from a dog's mouth than John Bull from the terri- 
tory where he has installed himself. 

245 



246 JOHN BULL & CO. 

The colony was definitely ceded to the English in 
181 5 by the Treaty of Paris. 

Many old Dutch families are still to be found in the 
principal towns of the south of the colony, but the 
active Dutch element, the farmers, must have steadily 
retired northward as the English advanced. These 
Dutchmen, now known as Boers, went and founded 
the Orange Free State and the Transvaal, or South 
African Republic ; but now they cannot very well go 
any farther, for the English have just taken possession 
of Matabeleland, and the circle is made : the Boers 
are now completely surrounded, at the south by the 
Cape, on the west by Bechuanaland, on the north by 
Mashonaland and Matabeleland, and on the east by 
Natal, Zululand, and a Portuguese territory, which the 
English will never allow them to acquire, even if the 
Portuguese should ever be willing to sell it, for this 
territory contains Delagoa Bay, the only harbor of 
South Africa. 

What is the political future of the Boers, that hand- 
ful of people, antiquated and stubborn, but brave and 
patriotic, who occupy a country emboweled with gold ? 
We may be able to answer the question presently. An 
interesting interview with President Kruger will help 
us. But let us stay a moment in the Cape. 

The South African Colonies differ essentially from 
those of Australasia. The latter are purely British, 
and, with the exception of the Maoris of New Zealand, 
the native population is little seen, save in skeleton 
form, adorning the museums of the large towns. In 
South Africa, the white population is mixed, British 
and Dutch ; and the colored population, far from being 



JOHN BULL & CO. 247 

extinct, seems everywhere to be full of life, an African 
and Asiatic population, ranging from the ebony black 
of the Zulus to the rich olive of the Malays : Hotten- 
tots, Kaffirs, Zulus, Fingos, Pondos, Basutos, etc. 

I like Cape Town, with its old Dutch houses, the 
animation of its streets, the splendor of its public build- 
ings, its Parliament,- its gardens, its picturesque environs, 
its refined society, its Malay population — whose women 
look like Madonnas adorned for a great church proces- 
sion. 

Every day I used to go and feast my eyes on a su- 



-^ !Si«»ttt»B !i.^ -&,5«.jpi^!t««SS«>.- 




TABLE MOUNTAIN. 



perb view. Taking up a position at the end of Adder- 
ley Street, I had, on the right, the Museum and the 
Botanical Gardens ; in front, an immense avenue of 
centenary oaks ; on the left, the Parliament ; and, as a 
background for the whole, Table Mountain, which 
seemed to almost overhang the landscape. I could 
never tire my eyes of this magnificent sight. 

A drive that I shall never forget is one that I took 
in company with the late M. Joseph Perrette, French 
consul at the Cape, and several friends. We first 
passed through the fashionable suburbs of Newland 



248 JOHN BULL & CO. 

and Claremont, which are scattered over with lovely 
villas, set in a veritable forest of oaks and eucalyptus ; 
then we saw the smiling plains of Constantia, celebrated 
for the good wine they produce ; from thence we went 
through a delightfully undulating country to Houts 
Bay, where, under a blue sky and a genial sun, we 
lunched in the garden of a family of Kaffirs. After 
that, following the contour of the mountain, we re-en- 
tered Cape Town by the Victoria Road. I do not 
know Sorrento, but I can scarcely believe that it can 
be possible to take a lovelier drive than the one we 
took around Table Mountain. 

About twenty miles from Cape Town there are two 
most picturesque and interesting little towns, perfectly 
Dutch, named Paarl and Stellenbosch. 

Paarl (Pearl) is composed of a single street seven 
miles in length, at the foot of a mountain range, along 
a narrow valley. This town is the cradle of the Afri- 
kander-Bond, a patriotic association which has for its 
object the future emancipation of South Africa. It 
was here, too, that a number of Huguenots took up 
their abode in the beginning of last century. The De 
Villiers, the Duplessis, the Du Toits, the Leroux, are 
everywhere ; they fill the highest and the most lowly 
posts ; a pious population, peaceful, intelligent, and 
hard-working. Those descendants of the Huguenots, 
victims of the Revocation of the Edict of Nantes, I 
have seen them in England, in Holland, in .America, 
everywhere the same. It was the cream of France 
which was obliged to leave the country in 1685 that 
Madame de Maintenon might become a king's wife. 
These Huguenots are completely lost to France. 



J(HIN lUIIJ, & CO. 249 

Those I met in Africa not only speak no word of 
I'^-ench, but they do not even know how to pronounce 
their own names. 

I was lunching one day on board the Srot, the finest 
and fastest boat which plies between England and 
South Africa. Many notabilities of Cape Town had been 
invited. The director of the company whispered to 
me, " There is the Chief-Justice of the colony. I will 
introduce you to him ; his name is Sir Henry di Filchi." 

*' Di Filchi," I replied; "how do you spell the 
name ? " 

" V-i-1-l-i-e-r-s," he said. 

"You don't say so!" I exclaimed ; "and that makes 
Filchi ? Can it be possible ? " 

This is how it came about. 

When those Huguenots took refuge in Holland, and 
from thence went and settled in the Cape, then a Dutch 
colony, they found a tyrannical government that for- 
bade them to speak French, or teach it to their chil- 
dren. At the end of fifty years they had become 
Dutch; to-day they are British subjects, but their hearts 
are more Dutch than English. As for France, they 
have completely forgotten it. Alas ! what do they owe 
to France, who ignominiously chased them from her 
shores ? 

If you go to Canada, you will find a French popula- 
tion that has been subject to Great Britain for a hun- 
dred and fifty years past, but these have remained 
French in heart. Not only do they continue to speak 
French, but they do not, and will not, speak anything 
else. I mean the masses, of course. John Bull leaves 
them alone. He says to them, " Speak what you please, 



250 JOHN BULL & CO. 

worship God as you will ;" and those French Catholics 
of the seventeenth century have remained French and 
Catholic, so that to visit them is to visit the France of 
two hundred years ago. 

This is a fact which, among a thousand others, has 
explained to me the success of the English. They are 
past masters in diplomacy. The governing hand is 
firm, but wears a velvet glove. They seem to say, " Do 
not mind us, make yourself at home." But John Bull 
is there all the time. 

The town of Paarl received its name from a rock 
situated on the top of the mountain, which is said to 
resemble pearl when the sun strikes it. I was quite 
willing to believe it, and even went so far as to see it ; 
and if you wish to please the Paarl people, I advise you 
to do the same. As in the case of the Southern Cross, 
faith is a great help. 

There are skeptics who believe because they see ; 
there are more accommodating people who see because 
they believe. 

If every town in the world should take part in a 
revolution, Paarl and her neighbor Stellenbosch would 
be the very last to join. Nothing more peaceful could 
be conceived than these two pretty little towns. Hard- 
ly a creature in the streets. About three o'clock a few 
people indulge in a sedate, slow walk. 

Stellenbosch is embowered in oaks which were 
brought from Europe, and flourish in this climate like 
the proverbial green bay. Every street is an avenue, 
a cathedral nave of green leafiness which the sun scarce- 
ly penetrates. Along the streets, on either side, runs a 
stream in which the housewife does the family wash. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 251 

The snow-white houses with their orange-colored shut- 
ters are quite picturesque. Outdoor foot-gear must be 
taken off at the door, I should think, as in Holland. 
The bright colors, the luxuriant greenery, the eternal 
blue sky, make up a delicious picture of calm and re- 
pose. 

From twelve to two, the shops of Paarl and Stellen- 
bosch are closed. The worthy shopkeepers are dining 
and taking a siesta, and as their customers are doing 
the same, trade in no wise suffers. What a contrast to 
those feverish Americans who at one o'clock put up on 
their door, "Gone to dinner; back in five minutes." 
Ah, my good De Villiers, Duplessis, and Du Toits, how 
sensible of you ! Five minutes for dinner, what folly ! 
Take your time, let digestion proceed quietly, and you 
will die of old age. And to live long and happily, is 
not that the great desideratum with most people ? 
Life is only given to us once ; let us make the best of it 
while we have the chance — we shall never get another. 

I admire the independence of the South African 
shopkeepers. 

The day after my arrival in Cape Town, I discovered 
that my stock of handkerchiefs was getting small. I 
went to a draper's shop, and, as politely as I could, 
asked the assistant to show me some new ones. When 
the purchase was made, I said to him : 

" Will you please get them marked for me ? " 

"What do you take me for?" he replied; "cannot 
you get some ink and mark them yourself?" 

There was no rudeness in the expression of his face, 
nor in the tone of his voice. He was right. Could I 
not buy marking ink and do the thing myself? 



252 JOHN BULL & CO. 

" It is not a service that I ask you," I rejoined ; " I 
am willing to pay for your trouble." 

" It is not done anywhere, sir." 

" I beg your pardon," said I ; "it is done in France 
and England, for instance ; but perhaps you never 
heard of those countries? " 

" Well, yes, I have heard of them ; but I can't say 
that I exactly know where they are." 

It was stupid of me to be offended. I ought to have 
shown appreciation of the young man's independence 
by buying his handkerchiefs. I went to another shop 
near by, instead. 

I related the incident to a journalist who came to in- 
terview me in the afternoon. Later on, I saw the mat- 
ter commented on in the press, and amongst other re- 
marks, the following : " The man in the Cape Town 
store who brusquely replied to Max O'Rell's request to 
have some handkerchiefs marked, ' Do it yourself ! ' 
was unconsciously presenting to this student of national 
characteristics the text and keynote to a whole treatise 
on South Africa." 

Independence, then, is a characteristic trait here. I 
am delighted at that : it is a very excellent trait. I 
hate servility — but I do love politeness. 



CHAPTER XXIX. 

The Dutch Puritans — The " Doppers " — A Case of Conscience 
— The Afrikander-Bond — Its Relations with John Bull — 
Tickets at Reduced Price — John Bull Lies Low — " God Save 
the Queen " in the South African Republic. 

The nations that John Bull has conquered have 
generally received the Bible in exchange for their terri- 
tory. The Dutch received nothing in exchange for 
South Africa. They were more religious, more Prot- 
estant, than the English, and they are so still. As 
Puritans they outdo the Scotch, and even the austerity 
of the followers of John Knox cannot be compared 
with that of the Dutch Reformed Church. Not con- 
tent with this Reformed Church, the Cape Dutchmen 
and the Boers of the interior have started a dissenting 
church still more strict and austere, whose members 
have received the name of " Doppers." To these good 
people music is sinful, and their monotonous chants in 
church are not accompanied. They object to hymns 
and canticles. They sing verses of the Bible at the rate 
of one word per minute, each word dying away like the 
note of a crow in distress. These Dutch Reformed 
churches dominate the English ones throughout South 
Africa, and the English population, to avoid the possi- 
bility of the Dutch outdoing them in the matter of 
piety, often join in the Dopper devotions. 

The Doppers are as practical as they are pious, 
aud when they have to decide a case of conscience, 
they do it in a manner favorable to their interests, 

253 



254 JOHN BULL & CO. 

For example, in their eyes dancing is a mortal sin, 
but although they let their halls for lectures and 
concerts, they never let them for balls — without 
doubling the price of hire. So much for the hall, 
so much for soothing their conscience. It is just 
what the Scotch cab-drivers do in Edinburgh and 
Glasgow on Sunday — double their fare. John Bull has 
nothing to teach the Dutch. 

The English and the Dutch at the Cape would do 
very well without each other, but they live in peace 
and co-operate honorably in the development of the 
colony. It is true that the Parliament is opened by 
the High Commissioner in the name of the Queen of 
England, whom he represents ; but autonomy is so 
complete, that the Dutch feel themselves as free as if 
they enjoyed that perfect independence which they 
hope one day to obtain — by purely constitutional 
means, of course. At present they form the Con- 
servative element in politics, and support the Afri- 
kander Bond. This association calmly pursues its 
aim, and not a single member would think of taking 
up a gun to hasten its realization. It succeeds in 
making the Ministry do pretty much what it wishes 
without giving umbrage to the Queen's representative. 
Its chief, Mr. J. H. Hofmeyr, plays in this colonial 
Parliament the part which the late Mr. Parnell played 
in the House of Commons — the friend or the enemy 
who must be always taken into account. 

The members of the Afrikander-Bond hold, with 
the greatest impunity, meetings, at which they express 
their hopes in the frankest terms. What does the 
Government do ? What does it do ? It sends police- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 255 

men to these meetings. To arrest the orators and 
hale them before a tribunal for high treason ? Not 
at all ; to protect orators and audience, and to assure 
them of their right to give their opinions in public, 
even when one of those opinions may be, "that John 
Bull be turned out and the independence of the South 
African Colonies proclaimed." And that which best 
shows how little John Bull's yoke makes itself felt in 
the Colonies, is perhaps the following incident, which 
always seemed to me extremely piquant and full of 
British humor. When the delegates of the Afri- 
kander-Bond wish to go by train to take part in some 
meeting, held in the provinces by one of the branches 
of this patriotic but revolutionary association, the 
Minister of Railways* gives them tickets at reduced 
fares. In presence of facts like these, the Dutch have 
a right to call themselves perfectly independent. 

Thus, you see for yourself, John Bull " lies low " all 
the time. And yet there he is. He advances by 
small steps, but they are sure ones ; and the English 
language makes such progress, that in the free library 
at Burghersdorp, one of the most Dutch towns of the 
Cape, I found two thousand English volumes and about, 
forty Dutch books. 

There is something so fascinating in the English 
education, that the young, who thrive and expand in 
its liberty, get anglicized at school, whatever their 
nationality may be. English education, that is what 
makes proselytes for England. How many Frenchmen 
in London have said to me, with a sad sigh, " These 

* The railways at the Cape belong to the Government, and are 
administered by a Minister, as in Australasia. 



256 JOHN BULL & CO. 

English schools corrupt my boys, and I do not see how 
I am to keep them French." 

The young Dutch boys at the Cape play foot-ball 
and cricket, and get anglicized at school. 

But in this line the most striking thing I saw was 
at Johannesburg, the most important town of the 
Transvaal, that perfectly independent South African 
Republic. When, at the end of a concert, the 
orchestra plays the national hymn of the Transvaal, 
no one pays any attention, and the audience talks and 
remains seated ; but the moment the first notes of 
" God Save the Queen " are struck, every one rises, and 
all the men's heads are uncovered, so that you really 
ask yourself whether here also you are not in one of 
the branches of the firm, John Bull & Co. 



CHAPTER XXX. 

Mr. Rhodes, Premier of Cape Colony — The Man — His Work- 
His Aim. 



About twenty-five years ago, a boy of fifteen, con- 
sidered by English doctors to be in the last stage of 
consumption, set 
out for the Cape, 
not with the idea 
of being cured, 
but to prolong his 
existence by a 
few months. The 
unique climate of 
South Africa cured 
him. The boy is 
now a man of forty, 
in perfect health, 
a millionaire twice 
over. Premier of 
the colony, the in- 
dispensable man in 
South Africa — and 
his name is Cecil 
John Rhodes. 

Mr. Rhodes is 
six feet high. His head is large and powerful looking, 
his eye is dreamy but observant. He has the quizzical 
look of a cynic, and the large forehead of an enthusiast. 

257 




/ 



HON. CECIL RHODES. 

[From a Photograph in the possession of the Editor of 
"South Africa^'l 



258 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



When he laughs, which is not often, the left cheek shows 
a dimple that you would think charming in a child or a 
young woman. The face is placid ; it is that of a diplo- 
matist who knows how to wait and see what you are go- 
ing to say or do. All suddenly this face lights up, and 
the gaze becomes resolute ; it is the face of a man of 
action, who knows how to seize an occasion and turn it 
to account. His dress is neglige, and his hat impossible. 




MR. RHODES HOUSE. 



I have seen him go to the Parliament House in a gray 
cut-away coat, and go into his room to put on the 
black frock-coat which is de rigueur for the colonial 
members. The sitting over, the black coat is put 
away in its cupboard. Prigs take offence at his free- 
and-easy ways. There is a story that he was once 
present at the opening of a new railway line. The 
station happened to be by the sea. In the middle of 



JOHN BULL & CO. 259 

the ceremony, all at once, Mr. Rhodes is missed, and 
every one wonders what has become of him. Suddenly 
some one espies, a hundred yards off, the figure of the 
Premier, en Apollon, coming out of the sea and going 
towards his clothes, which he had left on the beach 
whilst he took a dip. ■ 

Opportunist par excellence, Mr. Rhodes serves John 
Bull and the Afrikander- Bond, and takes care that 
they both serve him. His ambition is to acquire for 
the mother-country all the South African land as far 
as the Zambesi. If John Bull gives him a free hand, 
this will be realized, and Mr. Rhodes will be Prime 
Minister of an English colony larger than all Europe. 
If John Bull hampers him, and busies himself too 
much about that which, according to Mr. Rhodes, 
concerns him very little, you may one day hear of an 
independent African Confederation, with Mr. Rhodes 
for President and Mr. Hofmeyr for Vice-President. 

Whatever happens, you will certainly hear of Mr. 
Rhodes. 



CHAPTER XXXI. 

South African Towns — The Hotels — The Usefulness of the 
Moon — Kaffirland — Kimberley — The Diamond Mines — The 
De Beers Company — A Week's Find — Life in the "Com- 
pounds " — A Disagreeable Week before Going to buy Wives. 

Just as in America, Australia, and all new countries, 
there is terrible monotony for the eye in South Africa. 
Describe one little town and you have described all. 
You do not find money squandered on public buildings 
as in Australia : that is because the Dutch element acts 
as a curb to English push and improvidence. Every 
town has its market-place, in Dutch fashion — an im- 
mense square, where the Reformed church generally 
stands, and Avhere the Cape wagons, veritable houses 
on wheels, drawn by oxen, and conducted by Kafirs 
armed with a whip ten yards long, make halt. No walks, 
and very few walkers. A few negresses doing the street 
scavenging with their hands, gathering up the ex- 
crement of the oxen, and carrying it away on trays 
borne on the head to their houses, where, when dried, 
it serves to make fires. Some old Dopper, who has just 
risen from his siesta, walks with slow tread and suns 
himself. 

With the exception of Kimberley, which is lighted by 
electricity, and Cape Town and Port Elizabeth, which 
are lighted by gas, the towns are nearly all lighted by 
lamps. A few towns, such as Worcester, George Town, 
very pretty and picturesque places, depend upon the 

260 



JOHN BULL & CO. 261 

moon. No moon, no light, and people stay at home. 
As in Australia, no drainage. 

All this strikes one with astonishment after a visit to 
America, where little holes of a hundred inhabitants are 
lighted by electricity. 

And yet the country is not asleep. It advances with 
rapid strides, and business flourishes. 

The hotels all resemble one another, and so do the 
bills of fare, except that a few are worse than the others. 
Everywhere the same routine. At six o'clock in the 
morning, the nigger knocks at your door. You have to 
rouse yourself, and rise to open the door to him. He 
places on your night-table a cup of atrocious coffee, 
which I advise you to take as you would a dose of castor 
oil, toss it off quick and do not think about it. After 
that, you get under the bed coverings again, and be- 
lieve that you are going to be left in peace. Sweet but 
short-lived illusion. At half-past six the negro returns. 
You are obliged to get up again and reopen the door 
to him. He comes to fetch the cup. Useless to tell 
him the night before that you do not take coffee in bed. 
That is no business of his. He has his routine to go 
through, and, to carry it out, he has the intelligence and 
the fidelity of a French sentinel. 

As in America and Australia, if your neighbor 
at table takes you for a stranger in the land, he 
cannot resist the temptation of asking you the eternal 
question, " Well, sir, and what do you think of South 
Africa?" 

Here, as in Australia and New Zealand, the important 
towns are on the seaboard — Cape Town, Port Elizabeth, 
East London, Durban. Port Elizabeth has a grreat 



262 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



commercial importance, and the future of East London 
is assured. All these towns are now in direct communi- 
cation with the diamond mines of Kimberley and the 
gold mines of Johannesburg. In a few months Durban 
will be so connected also. 

There are two towns that I would advise the traveler 
not to miss — King Williamstown, a pretty place embow- 
ered in verdure, and a veritable hive of activity, and 
Grahamstown, the city of saints, inhabited by 16,000 




f,lr„t inl<;ml,.ly 



human beings perfectly petrified, and lighted by a few 
paraffin lamps as sleepy as the inhabitants. But it is 
the journey that I recommend more particularly : about 
eighty miles' driving to do across that most interesting 
country, the centre of Kaffirland. You pass through 
groups of kraals, where the natives continue to live 
as if no white man had ever yet set foot on African 
soil. 

The last eighteen miles or so before reaching Grahams- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 263 

town present a series of enchantments. The country 
becomes wild and hilly. You enter Pluto's Valley, 
along the bottom of which you pass between steep and 
wooded crags, peopled with large baboons, which gam- 
bol around you, or, perched on a tree or the edge of a 
rock, calmly look down on you from the height of their 
grandeur. Add to that; at about six o'clock in the 
evening, a marvelous sunset. You will arrive in town 
shaken, stiff, bruised, famishing, and enchanted with 
your day's journey. 

It would be out of place in a book like this to describe 
the towns. The reader who wishes to obtain precise 
information about the population, the commerce, and 
resources of such and such a town in South Africa, will 
find them in the numerous guides at his disposition. 
We study life everywhere, and commerce statistics are 
not much in our line. 

But we must halt a little at Kimberley, whose diamond 
industry has been the saving of Cape Colony. 

With the exception of a few streets graced by pretty 
villas, Kimberley is a town built of brown mud in 
the midst of a desert. Its market-place is the vast- 
est in the colony, but it is surrounded by tumble-down 
buildings, which give it a pitiful air of desolation. 
At Kimberley you will search in vain for anything but 
diamonds ; but as this search has been so fruitful that 
all the companies have been obliged to amalgamate 
so as to regulate the production and prevent these 
precious stones from becoming too common, Kimber- 
ley deserves a visit, and there are happy people to be 
seen there. 

Before going to the mines, and to show you that Kim- 



264 JOHN BULL & CO. 

berley is not an adventurers' camp, but a town inhabited 
by intelligent people who read and study, I must make 
mention of the public library, one of the largest and 
best stocked that I saw in the Colonies, and which pos- 
sesses about fifteen hundred volumes in the French lan- 
guage, representing all that is best in our literature, 
from the poetry of Malherbe to the novels of M. Al- 
phonse Daudet. 

Twenty years ago, a young negro, serving on a farm 
situated between the Vaal and the Orange River, found 
a little white stone, which he showed one day to a 
traveler passing through those parts. The traveler 
bought the little stone, and sold it for ;^500. It was the 
first Kimberley diamond. The news got abroad, and a 
crowd soon invaded the borders of the Vaal. They 
sought and they found. In twenty-three years Kim- 
berley has yielded diamonds which have been sold in the 
rough for the fabulous sum of ^^3 5, 000,000. The lovely 
Countess of Dudley possesses a diamond, called the 
" Star of South Africa," valued at ^25,000. 

A few weeks before my visit to Kimberley, there had 
been found a diamond of four hundred and twenty-eight 
carats. The De Beers Company sold it to an Indian 
prince for the pretty little sum of ;^i 5,000. 

Companies have been started in the neighborhood, 
riches have been reaped, and Cape Colony, which twenty 
years ago was at a very low ebb, now enjoys the greatest 
opulence. A few years later, Johannesburg, with its 
gold mines, completed the fortune of this land, which 
compensates for the aridity of its surface by the wealth 
that lies underneath. Africa will lack bread and water 
before it lacks eold and diamonds. 




"■W"'^ 



365 



JOHN BULL & CO. 267 

Under the guidance of Mr. Gardner F. Williams, an 
American, the general manager, I visited the subter- 
ranean mines of De Beers and Kimberley ; and near by 
I plunged my eyes into the depths of a pit, the surface 
of which is twenty acres and the depth three hundred 
feet. In this pit negroes, like a swarm of black ants, dug 
and threw the precious mud into the tumbrils, which 
went off and emptied- their contents into machines. 
When the sand is sifted, it is sent to sheds and placed 
on tables, where workmen, under the surveillance of 
lynx-eyed watchers, search for diamonds with little 
rakes, and throw them into locked tin boxes. 

These boxes are sent under escort to the office of the 
company, and there the diamonds are spread out and 
classed by experts, according to their size, color, and 
purity. These different groups are placed on tissue 
paper on a table, where I saw over ;^200,ooo worth. 
This was the find of the four preceding days. They 
were of all shades — white, yellow, brownish, some red- 
dish-white, others opaque, others of a bluish-gray. The 
yellow ones, it appears, are much sought after by the 
Turks and Indian rajahs, while the Americans are the 
best customers of the company for white diamonds. 

But that which interested me most at Kimberley was 
the life led by the miners, in whom were represented all 
the tribes of South Africa — Kaffirs, Zulus, Pondos, Fin- 
gos, Basutos, Hottentots, etc. 

The negro who works in the mines accepts a contract 
which makes him the prisoner of the company during 
the time his engagement lasts ; but the good negro is 
delighted with his lot. He has fresh air, good food, and 
amusements. If he is ill, he is well looked after, and at 



268 JOHN BULL & CO. 

the end of a year he has in his leather belt, which serves 
him for a purse, from sixty to eighty pounds with which 
to buy oxen, and with these oxen to buy wives who will 
work for him, and allow him to pass his life in the softest 
oi far nientes. So, to attain this end, he joyfully accepts 
a year of imprisonment. He will sometimes even walk 
five hundred miles to reach Kimberley, and try and get 
enrolled. How many poor whites do I know who would 
consent to a year of imprisonment without dishonor, to 
live on their means for the rest of their lives ! The 
miners are lodged, or rather barracked, in great en- 
closures called " compounds," which communicate with 
the entrance to the mines. The " compound " is an 
immense square, surrounded by iron sheds, where the 
miners live in sets. They are grouped according to the 
tribe to which they belong. The centre forms a large 
court, several acres in size, where they amuse themselves 
by day. They cannot have any communication with 
outsiders, and, to prevent the possibility of their throw- 
ing diamonds over the roofs, the whole compound is 
covered in with close wire netting. 

Accompanied by the manager and several ofHcials of 
the De Beers Company, I went into the court, visited 
the sheds and the hospital, and I can say that, having 
seen everywhere that crowd of negroes, laughing, amus- 
ing themselves, and all looking resplendent with health, 
I came out of the " compound " with the conviction 
that I had been looking at people who were happy and 
satisfied with their lot. 

One "compound " is occupied by two thousand men ; 
the other by nearly three thousand. 
• Peacefulness and order reisfn in the two ereat " com- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 269 

pounds " at Kimberley. The only quarrels that ever 
arise are tribal ones, childish quarrels that are quelled 
by a gesture from the superintendent. 

When the miners are not on duty, they are free to do 
what they like. They play cards, dance, sing, give them- 
selves up to trivial merrymakings, do their cooking am- 
icably en famillc, and as I said before, pass the time in 
the happiest fashion. 

As you see, every precaution is taken that no diamond 
may escape the company. 

The only semblance of cruelty to which these good 
blacks, who are just like children, are submitted, is the 
regime they are compelled to live under for the last 
week of their engagement. But they are warned of 
this : one of the clauses of the contract which they agree 
to before entering the service of the company, gives 
them in detail the description of the treatment they will 
have to undergo before being set at liberty. 

For one week they have to live naked, and in com- 
plete imprisonment, not being allowed any communica- 
tion with their comrades of the " compound." They 
have to wear hard leather fingerless gloves of enormous 
dimensions, which prevent them from using their hands, 
and oblige them to take their nourishment like four- 
footed animals. Their belongings are taken away and 
searched, and during that week they have but a blanket 
belonging to the company to cover them. Their bodies 
are examined in every part, and never was this expres- 
sion used with stricter exactness. Their teeth even are 
examined ; and if they have swallowed some precious 
stone, the gloves prevent the possibility of their hand- 
ling it to swallow it again. In fact, every precaution that 



2/0 JOHN BULL & CO. 

it was possible to think of has been adopted ; and when 
this week of incarceration is finished, and the negroes 
have left the " compound " to return to their homes, the 
company is pretty certain that not one diamond has 
been stolen. 



CHAPTER XXXII. 

The Country — The " Veld " — The Plateaus — The Climate — The 
South African Animals — The Ant-hills— The South Coast 
— Natal — Durban, the Prettiest Town in South Africa — 
Zulus and Coolies. 

In South Africa the land is scarcely more clothed 
than the natives who inhabit it. When you have trav- 
eled north for a few hours, all vegetation disappears : 
no more trees, no more shrubs. The grass grows on 
the earth and on the sides of the mountains as the hair 
grows on the head of the Kaffirs, in little tufts here and 
there. 

In spite of this nakedness, the land has in its very 
desolation a grandeur and a beauty of its own. Thanks 
to the blue sky, it is not at all sad-looking. It is an or- 
iginal style of beauty, and if you are only careful to start 
from the principle that it is not necessary for a land- 
scape to resemble Devonshire in order to be beautiful, 
you will easily admire those that South Africa has to 
show. From the tops of the highest plateaus you get 
views that root you to the spot with admiration. In its 
own line, nothing grander could be conceived than that 
infinite stretch of veld, scattered with flat-topped moun- 
tains of different heights, which give to the scene an 
appearance of a great ocean in a fury. 

And the climate in winter ! I saw nothing but blue 
sky for four months ; the air was pure and bracing, 
the atmosphere dry and charged with ozone ; a climate 

271 



2/2 JOHN BULL & CO. 

in which a person with only half a lung may fairly ex- 
pect to die_of old age like the strongest. And thus one 
sees numbers of Englishmen who have come and buried 
themselves in little villages, where they are dying of 
ennui. But they had rather die of ennui than of con- 
sumption. And they are right ; to bury oneself in an 
African village is better than to be buried in Europe, 










THE VELD. 



you know where. To live anywhere at any cost, so that 
he lives, is man's motto. 

The ideal climate of Africa allows you to undertake 
things which you would not think of undertaking in any 
other country. Interminable journeys in trains, in mule 
or ox wagons, will be powerless to rob you of health 
or good humor, A sound night's sleep invariably dis- 
perses all traces of fatigue. You Avere so jolted and 
shaken in the wagon the day before, that you felt your- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 2/3 

self all over on alighting, to see what had become of the 
various portions of your anatomy ; but when morning 
comes, you are fresh and active, ready to start again. 

Traveling in South Africa no longer presents any 
dangers. The natives have accepted their fate, and no 
longer attack white people. The wild animals have re- 
tired northward as civilization advanced, and now one 
must go as far as Mashonaland to find lions, elephants, 
buffaloes, and all the big game of Africa. Tartarin 
would find no more lions at the Cape, in Natal, or in 
the Transvaal, than he found in the suburbs of Algiers. 
You find a few leopards, monkeys, antelopes, and ga- 
zelles, but that is all. The antelope may still be shot 
in the neighborhood of almost all the towns at the Cape. 
These creatures are the prettiest of the inhabitants of 
South Africa : graceful animals with soft brown eyes, 
fantastic and symmetrical horns, they present themselves 
under the most varied forms. The most curious is the 
oryx gasi'lla, or gem-bok, whose parallel and perfectly 
straight horns are a yard and a half long. The oryx 
gazella is the only one the lion is afraid of. When it is 
attacked it lowers its head, and its adversary runs the 
risk of being spiked. His majesty Leo, in his wisdom, 
thinks twice before venturing. 

The museums of the principal towns contain the com- 
plete collection of African antelopes. The finest private 
collection is in the club at Kimberley. 

Ostriches in the wild state are now rarely met with 
in South Africa, but the country abounds with farms 
where these bipeds are reared in innumerable quanti- 
ties for the sake of their feathers. 

But on the veld, nothing : no animals, no vegetation. 



274 JOHN BULL & CO. 

To find wooded counti)', you ha\-c to go as far as 
Bechuanaland. The buildings are of stone, of brick, 
or of mud, like those of the ancient Celts. Wire is used 
for fencing, and the excrement of oxen for fires. 

The South African desert is hardly inhabited now 
except by ants. At a certain distance you catch sight 
of what you suppose to be the huts of a kraal or village 
of the natives. The}' are ant-hills, xarying in height 
from three to six feet. There are some which attain a 
height of twelve and e\-en fifteen feet. These ant-hills 
are hermetically closed with earth, and present a per- 
fectly even surface, covering" a quantity of cells and gal- 
leries. Every ant remembers its address more easily 
than a New Yorker who lix'es at 1934 One Hundred 
and Forty-ninth Street, West. 

If you scrape the surface of an ant-hill, or make a 
hole in it, the little }-ellow ants will come out b}- thou- 
sands, and prove very aggressixe. Others will go and 
tell their neighbors in the lower stories, and presently 
the whole population will appear and entirel}- coxcr the 
mound. 

The}' will abandon their in\-aded home, and go to seek 
a new site, where in a few weeks the}' x\ill ha\e built 
with prodigious activity another ant-hill, just like the 
one that you demolished or simply injured. 

I should be sorry to con\'e}' the impression that South 
Africa has no pretty scenery, for the whole south coast, 
from Cape Town to Natal, is a succession of beautiful 
landscapes. The forest of Knysna, the district of Oudt- 
shoorn, with its passes, its caves, its interesting ostrich 
farms, the Buffalo River, at East London, with its hills 
wooded to the water's edge, reminding one of the Eng- 



JOHN HULL & CO. 



275 



lish Dart or a miniature Rhine, and, above all, Durban, 
the prettiest and most coquettish town in the South Af- 
rican Colonies, with its massive but graceful Town-hall, 
its beautiful public gardens, its hills scattered over with 
elegant villas set in sub-tropical vegetation. And what 
a contrast to the. eternal monotony of the veld! what 
wealth of color ! Indians in picturesque costumes, 







TOWN-HALL, DURBAN. 

Zulus dressed in white tunics bordered with red, living 
and moving under a clear blue sky, beside the intense 
blue water backed by green hills. 

Durban is a feast for the eyes, a rnignardisc. 

That which adds greatly to the pleasure of a stay in 
Durban is the excellence of the Royal Hotel, by far the 
best hostelry in South Africa. It is built around a 



276 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



courtyard full of palms and ferns, among which foun- 
tains play ; the cooking is excellent, and the service 
done by Indian coolies, whose thoughtful attentions 




NATAL SCENERY. 



are a treat after the independent manners of the colo- 
nial or German gentlemen who act as waiters in South 
African, as well as in American and Australian hotels. 
What a sad figure they cut, those poor, emaciated, 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



277 



lanky Indians, by the side of the Zulus, who are the 
personification of health and strength ! What a limp, 
nerveless race ! As one looks at them, it becomes easy 
to understand how John Bull made the conquest of 
India. 

In the out- 
skirts of Dur- 
ban you see the 
places where 
these Indians 
dwell, tumble- 
down shanties 
which the most 
wretched and 
poorest Con- 
naught peasant 
would hesitate 
to lodge his pigs 
in. Outside, in 
the sun, sit these 
miserable crea- 
tures, dirty and 
abject -looking ; 
women with 
men's heads in 
their laps search- 
ing among their 
lords' locks, monkey fashion. The children scratch 
their backs against the doorposts, while their parents 
scratch their heads. Most of the animation of these 
people comes from parasitic suggestion on the surface. 
The more industrious of them work on the sugar and 




RAILWAY STATION, VERULAM, NATAL. 
[From a Phoiograph by H. S. Eli.erbeck, Nuial.'\ 



278 JOHN BULL"& CO. 

tea plantations that abound in South Natal. Others 
are domestics, 

A few Parsees, rich merchants and tradesmen of the 
town, fat and flourishing, clothed in long gold-embroi- 
dered raiment, form a curious contrast to the poor half- 
clad coolies, whom you see hawking a few bananas at 
the railway stations, and patronized chiefly by some 
chattering, merry Zulus, who are installing themselves 
in high glee in one of the third-class carriages provided 
in this country for the colored people. 



CHAPTER XXXIII. 

The Natives of South Africa— First Disappointment— Natives 
in a Natural State— Scenes of Savage Life— The Kraals 
—Customs— The Women— Types— Among the Kaffirs and 
the Zulus— Zulus in " Undress "—I Buy a Lady's Costume, 
and Carry it ofif in my Pocket— What Strange Places Virtue 
Hides in— The Missionaries Gone to the Wrong Place. 

It will take me some time to forget the cruel disap- 
pointment I felt on making my first visit to a kraal. It 
was at Port Elizabeth. I had not yet pushed into the 
interior, and had only seen civihzed savages. I ex- 
pressed to M. Chabaud, French consul in Port Eliza- 
beth, a wish to see a kraal. " That is very easy," he 
said ; " two or three miles from here we have one. and 
next Sunday, if you like, we will go and see it. Most 
of the Kaffirs who belong to this kraal work in the town 
all the week, but on Sunday you will see them in their 
natural state." With what pleasure I accepted the pro- 
posal ! I should see real savages at last. 

My visit to the kraal lasted five minutes. I found 
the " savages " singing Wesleyan hymns, while the 
small fry played at ball, and whistled that all-pursuing 
air, " Tararaboomdeay," which for two years I had not 
been able to get away from. Decidedly I had not gone 
far enough yet. 

Most of the towns in South Africa have near them 
a kraal, called a location, where the Kaffirs employed in 
the town as porters, carters, servants, etc., live in huts. 

But in the interior of Cape Colony and Natal, in the 

279 



28o JOHN BULL & CO. 

Transvaal and in Zululand, I studied the natives a little, 
and by the aid, sometimes of Kaffirs and Zulus who 
spoke a little English, or some English people Avho 
spoke Kafifir or Zulu, I was able to gather some inter- 
esting facts in talking to them. 

A kraal is composed of several huts, generally set 
upon an eminence which commands a view of the sur- 
rounding country. 

The hut is built in hive form : poles set in a circle, 
and flexible rods running horizontally around, the 
whole perfectly closed by means of earth and branches; 
one single opening allows the air to penetrate, and the 
tenants of the hut to enter and leave their residence 
with a stoop. It is there that they eat, sleep, and 
pass their time, chattering like magpies. I have seen 
as many as twenty of them in a hut, the diameter of 
which at the base was certainly not four yards, the old, 
the young, the babies, all swarm together with dogs, 
fowls, and other creatures more closely domestic and of 
much smaller dimensions, which I need not particular- 
ize. A sickly smell of rancid fat, which the bodies of 
all the South African natives exhale, mixed with the 
smell of wood smoke, tobacco smoke, and food together, 
make a composite perfume which it in not in my power 
to describe. There are odors which, to have an idea 
of, you must have smelt for yourself. 

I passed a whole day in a kraal, living like the Kaf- 
firs whose guest I was. I lunched and dined off mealies 
and fruit. The bill of fare was not recherche, my table 
companions had not precisely Mayfair manners, but, on 
the whole, it was more interesting than dining out in 
London. 



JOHN BULL & CO 



281 



All these good folk seem happy. Children of the sun, 
they pass their lives frolicking and showing their beau- 
tiful white teeth. The women, less playful, attend to 
all the needs of the family. 

Of all the domestic animals invented for the service 
of man in South Africa, the most useful is woman. 
There are few offices she is not called upon to fill. I 




TRIAL OF NATIVE OUTSIDE COURT OF JUSTICE AT A ZULU LOCATION, 

NATAL. 
{From a Photograpli by H. S. Ellerbeck, Nciid/.l 

have seen these women with a large pail of water on 
the head, a baby in a shawl on the back, another pail 
of water in the right hand, and a can of mealies in the 
left. With the body erect, a swinging, wagging mo- 
tion of the haunches, the shoulders well squared, the 
back hollowed, they walk with a firm and regular step, 
and, as a relief, without removing the long pipe which 



282 JOHN BULL & CO. 

generally adorns the mouth, they expectorate right and 
left, describing parabolas fit to make a Tennessee man 
expire with envy. The Kaffir women are simply 
beasts of burden. 

The habit, contracted in childhood, of carrying heavy 
weights on the head and walking barefooted, has 
given these women their decided gait and erectness of 
body. 

The price of a wife is from ten to sixteen oxen. She 
brings her husband nothing but her virtue, and he asks 
no other dowry with her. The aim of every native in 
South Africa is to be rich enough to afford several 
wives. When he has three, he can knock off work, 
smoke his pipe, loll in the sunshine, majestically stalk 
about the kraal, and live in clover generally. 

The wife is all the prouder of her husband because 
he takes things easily and makes her work. She ad- 
mires him. " Why should he work," said a Kaffir's 
wife to me one day, " since he is rich enough to have 
wives to work for him? If I were a man I should do 
the same." There was resignation and logic in this. 
Oh, Parisian and American women, who keep men in 
leading strings, what do you say to this ? 

Jealousy is not a failing of the South African women, 
and all these wives live in peace together. 

The wife of a Kaffir, a Pondo, a Basuto, or a Zulu, 
much prefers that her husband should have many 
wives ; first, because it means a sharing of the work to 
be done, and also because it flatters her pride to think 
that she belongs to a man who is well-to-do. She is 
proud of her husband, and puts on her grandest air 
when she can say, " My husband has many wives." 




283 



JOHN BULL & CO. 285 

And she looks down with pity upon the woman who 
has no companions to share the caresses of her hus- 
band. 

Good creatures, who understand what is due to the 
lords of creation ! 

You should see them going to fetch the beer of the 
country, and bringing it home on their heads in enor- 
mous wide pitchers, and then standing respectfully 
in line, upright and silent, while the men, squatting in 
Turkish fashion, drink out of the pitchers. This is gal- 
lantry of much the same stamp as Englishmen exhibit 
when at certain banquets they invite the ladies to look 
at them from a high gallery. 

Here is a family on the road : the man in front, then 
the wife, followed by the children. I have seen all the 
inhabitants of a village walking thus : men first, next 
the women carrying all the loads, after them the chil- 
dren, the whole party in Indian file. 

The children are winsome. Where are the children 
that are not .? 

I saw, among the different races of South Africa, 
young girls of from twelve to fifteen, superbly formed, 
perfect ba7'bcdicnncs. Their skin is soft as velvet, their 
shoulders and arms a sculptor's dream. But, unfor- 
tunately, that skin has no elasticity, and early loses its 
freshness. Married life and motherhood, which so 
often improve white women, destroy the charms of 
most of the native women of Africa. 

From the European point of view, they are generally 
ugly in face. However, I saw a pretty one here and 
there. Among others, I remember a young Kaffir 
woman who had brought her baby to the doctor of the 



286 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



district to be vaccinated. She had the roguish pretti- 
ness of a Parisian woman, and the red kerchief bound 
about her head and jauntily hfted over one ear, made 
her quite provokingly picturesque. 

When they leave their huts, the Kafirs, both men 
and women, wear a blanket dyed with red earth, which, 
slung over the shoulders, adds much dignity to their 




?^'-!-4'v^. 



DISTRICT SURGEON VACCINATING ZULUS. 
\Fiom a Photograph by H. S. Ellekbeck, Natal.'] 



appearance. At home, the men are clothed with the 
air of the atmosphere, and the women deck themselves 
with a hundred and one baubles on the neck, arms, and 
legs. From the wrist to the elbow, the arm is gener- 
ally covered with a load of brass bangles. 

Of all the natives that I saw in South Africa, the Zu- 
lus are much the handsomest. What superb fellows 



JOHN BULL & CO. 287 

those men are ! What a happy blending of firmness 
and gentleness in the look ! what dignity in the car- 
riage ! Men of over six feet, admirably proportioned, 
whose movements are simple, dignified, natural, and 
graceful. Nature has moulded no finer male figures 
than these. The Zulus are brave, intelligent people, 
moral and honest ; and what helps to keep the race 
healthy and handsome is, that the men and women 
never contract very early marriages, while the Kaffirs 
often marry mere children. 

In a kraal a few miles from the r,pot where the un- 
happy Prince Imperial met with his sad and untimely 
death, I saw nine hundred natives of the country, men, 
women, and children, who had come out of their huts 
to be examined by the vaccinating doctor. What in- 
teresting types there were to study in this assemblage ! 

The young girls adorn their heads with strings of 
beads, that hang gracefully about the ears, their necks 
with more beads, their arms and legs with circlets of 
brass and beads, and around the waist is a narrow 
leather belt, from which hangs, in front, an infinitesimal 
apron of beads and fringe. When they are married, 
they don a little petticoat about a foot deep. Their 
hair is greased and brushed straight back off the fore- 
head, in the form of a Turkish fez. The women are 
generally much smaller than the men, thickset, plump, 
and shapely in their swarthy beauty. 

For the sum of a sovereign, I one day bought the 
whole costume of a young woman, and carried it off in 
the side pocket of my coat. After taking off the last 
piece of adornment, she stood there a few moments 
smiling, happy, with the money in her hand, as uncon 



288 JOHN BULL & CO. 

scious of her nudity as a new-born babe, and I looked 
at her with the same admiration and respect that I 
should have felt in the presence of a beautiful statue, 
or of a model with pure sculptural outlines encased in 
bronze tights. 

Among the New Zealand Maoris, the young girl is 
not virtuous, but once married she is faithful to her 
husband, who never concerns himself about the life his 
wife may have led before he married her. 

Among the Zulus, the young girl's virtue is exem- 
plary. She may throw everything to the winds, but 
never her virtue. She may play at love-making, but 
though she go to the edge of the precipice, she is sure- 
footed and will never fall. She knows that, so long as 
she is virtuous, she is worth sixteen oxen to her father, 
and that if her husband discovered, after marriage, that 
this was not the case, he would send her back to her 
father and re-demand his oxen. Her fidelity is a filial 
one. Her father values her virtue as part of his stock 
in trade ; he tends her, fattens her, and does his best to 
make her attractive and marketable. 

The young woman is proud to feel that she is valu- 
able, and the one who has been sold to her husband for 
sixteen oxen looks down with contempt upon a mem- 
ber of her sex who has only fetched ten. In Zululand^ 
there are "sets " of the upper sixteen who look down on 
the lozver ten. 

I amused a Kafifiir woman very much one day by tel- 
ling her that, in France, a woman without a dowry very 
often did not find a husband. 

" The women buy their husbands, then, in your coun- 
try ? " she said. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 289 

" Yes," I replied, " and sometimes the remnants of a 
man." 

Great was her surprise. 

Her reasoning was not so much at fault, after all. 
She thought that it was more flattering for a woman to 
be bought by a husband than to have to buy one. 
Woman has a value in South Africa, she thought. 
What can her value possibly be in France, where some 
old notary, who marries a young wife, exacts an indem- 
nity of two hundred thousand francs with her ? 

A Zulu one day confided to me the following reflec- 
tions on polygamy in his country : 

" It is polygamy, boss, that is the cause of our pros- 
perity. As soon as a Zulu becomes a man, he works 
hard to save the money to buy a wife. When he has 
obtained her, and grown tired of her, he sets to work 
again to earn enough to buy another, and so on." 

Old Zulus of patriarchal age go in for matrimony. 
They are more ambitious and fonder of women than 
the Kaffirs. Besides, in their hands marriage is a com- 
mercial enterprise. These shrewd men buy wives as 
other people buy live four-footed stock, to increase 
their wealth. Thus, when the Zulu marries, he hopes 
to have many daughters, who will be salable and bring 
him oxen. At the birth of a boy, he makes a wry 
face. 

The Zulus are virtuous, moral, and honest as the day, 
and the missionaries who have settled there to convert 
them have gone to the wrong place. If you lose any- 
thing, no matter what, in a kraal, and a Zulu finds it, 
he will run after you. Now, the Zulu can run several 
miles without stopping, and you may be sure he will 



290 JOHN BULL & CO. 

not stop until he has overtaken you and handed over 
that which you left behind. These remarks apply to 
the Zulu in the raw state. The converted Zulu is quite 
a different person. 

In a hotel at Pietermaritzburg, Natal, I was one day 
admiring three splendid young Zulus who did chamber- 
maids' and errand boys' work, and I asked the proprie- 
tress where she had got them. 

'"A long way from here," she said, "in a kraal. I 
never engage natives except in the raw state." 

" Why do you not take them," I asked, " from the 
missionary schools which abound in the neighbor- 
hood?" 

" Oh," she said, shaking her head, " none of those 
for me." 

This set me thinking. After all, I said to myself, 
this is only one person's opinion. The proprietress 
probably has a prejudice against the missionaries. I 
drew no conclusion, but resolved to put the same ques- 
tion to all the hotel proprietors whom I came across. 
Everywhere the answer was the same : " No converted 
Zulus for us." 

Many English people will be surprised to hear this, 
but I can aflfirm that no one in the Colonies ignores the 
fact. In the natural state, the Zulus are honest, and 
their women are virtuous. When they have gone 
through the apprenticeship of civilization in the mis- 
sions, the women's virtue often loses much of its rigid- 
ity, and the men lie and cheat like " Christians " of the 
deepest dye. 

The Zulus are virtuous and honest by instinct, and it 
is difificult to see how their child-like souls can be im- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 29I 

proved by a theory which, after all, may be summed up 
in these few words : "Do not sin, but if you do sin, 
make yourself easy, you have only to believe and all 
your sins will be blotted out." " Let us sin, then," say 
the converted Zulus too often ; " the more we sin, the 
more will be forgiven us." It is not the seed that is 
bad, it is the ground that is not prepared. 

This will not prevent plenty of good English people 
from continuing to send missionaries to South Africa, 
nor from making collections to increase their number. 
I simply state a fact, and give it with the authority of 
every one who engages native servants in the Cape and 
in Natal. 

Missionaries have never done me any harm, and in 
this volume I have not to try, thank heaven, to please 
or displease any one. I say what I think, I repeat 
what everybody in the Colonies knows, and if, in so 
doing, I unhappily offend certain people who think 
they ought to feel offended, I shall sleep none the 
worse for it. 



CHAPTER XXXIV. 

The Orange Free State — The Transvaal — A Page or Two of His- 
tory — The Boers at Home — Manners and Customs — The 
Boers and the Locusts — The Boers will have to "Mend or 
End" — Bloemfontein, Pretoria, and Johannesburg. 

The Orange Free State or Boer Republic, and the 
Transvaal or South African Republic, now independent 
States, were a few years ago branches of the firm, John 
Bull & Co. 

The Orange Free State is a large desert, five thousand 
feet above the sea, on a plateau whose superficial area 
is about equal to that of France. The climate of this 
country is the driest and healthiest in the world. The 
land is a succession, a superposition, of plateaus, hills 
and mountains crowned with enormous boulders. It 
is desolation, isolation, immensity. Only since seeing 
the vast landscapes of Africa, have I had a true idea of 
space. 

Towards the middle of this century, a large number 
of Boers, wishing to escape from the continual en- 
croachments of the English, quitted the Cape, and 
went with their flocks and herds to an immense district 
situated between the Vaal and Orange Rivers. They 
soon organized themselves into a republic, and began 
to hope that they were now forever out of the reach of 
the English. 

They were mistaken. You are never out of the 
reach of the English. 

292 



JOHN BULL & CO. 293 

The Boers have a bad habit, which has constantly 
been the cause of quarrels between them and the 
English. In the eyes of the Boers, the aborigines of 
South Africa are not human beings to be conciliated, 
but wild animals to be tracked and exterminated when- 
ever occasion offers. When they did not kill them, 
they made slaves of them, and drove them to work 
with great leather whips that they would never have 
dared used about the oxen that drew their carts. They 
neither sought to civilize nor instruct them, nor even 
to convert them, for they do not admit that the negro 
can have a soul. This did not please the English, 
who themselves get rid of troublesome natives in the 
countries which they invade, but get rid of them by 
a much more diplomatic process — conversion and diver- 
sion, the Bible and the bottle. 

In 1845 the Boers of the Orange Republic fell 
upon the Griquas, an important tribe living to the 
west of them. They were going to exterminate them, 
when the English came to the rescue of the savages, 
vanquished the Boers and annexed their territory, 
under the very plausible pretext that their independ- 
ence was a continual menace to the tranquillity of 
South Africa. 

A number of Boers, furious at seeing themselves 
once more under the domination of the English, packed 
up, crossed the Vaal, and settled in a new country, 
which they called Transvaal, and where they soon 
founded a new republic. 

A few years later, England, fearing not to be able 
to control territories that were attaining such alarming 
proportions, allowed the Boers of the Orange Republic 



294 JOHN BULL & CO. 

to proclaim afresh their independence (1853), an in- 
dependence which they still enjoy ; but when the 
diamond mines were discovered in 1870, just where 
Kimberly now stands, all that district was taken away 
from the Boers and rechristened British. 

The Boers settled in the Transvaal repeated in 
1877 the offence which had cost them the indepiendence 
of the Orange Republic in 1845. They resolved to 
exterminate the natives of the territory which they 
had invaded, and were going to put their project into 
execution when the English conquered and annexed 
them. Everything seemed lost to them, for it was no 
use thinking of advancing farther northward. Their 
only hope was to reconquer their independence, and 
that at the point of the sword. In 1880 they revolted, 
and defeated the English at Majuba Hill, after having 
killed the English general, Sir Pomeroy Colley. The 
Transvaal was declared free, but under the protection 
of England, on the 25th of October, 1881. Three 
years later, England completely retired from the 
Transvaal. 

It is now well known that the Transvaal and the 
surrounding territories are all underlaid with gold, but 
it is quite certain that the Boers never will dig for it.* 
In a very few years the country will be overrun by 
gold-seekers from all parts of the world. The Boers 
will continue to scratch the surface of the earth, but 
they will not dig far below it. They occupy immense 

* It is seriously coniectured that it was from these parts that Solo- 
mon got the gold for the temple at Jerusalem Searches recently 
made, proved that a civilization formerly existed in South Africa. 
I saw in Mr. Cecil Rhodes' study a beautiful bronze statuette which 
has been excavated in Mashonaland. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



295 



tracts of land which they do not cultivate, and ni their 
hands the country makes no progress. I have seen 
farmers whose farms were as large as Devonshire, and 
who contented themselves with pasturing cattle on a 
few hundred acres. They are ignorant, behind the 



i t "is 








PROSrECTING FOR GOLD— TRANSVAAL. 
[From a Photograph by H. S. Ellerbeck, Natal?^ 

times, stubborn, and lazy. They refuse to till the earth 
with modern implements. They do the kind of farm- 
ing that was done in the time of Abraham, Isaac, and 
Jacob Their houses are often like pigsties. Before 
cxoing to bed, they take off their boots, and call that 



296 JOHN BULL & CO. 

undressing. The floor is their bed. Skins are spread 
on it, and there all the family — men, women, and 
children — sleep higgledy-piggledy. Once or twice a 
year they set out in their wagons for the nearest 
town, where they go through two or three days of de- 
votions. The richest go to the hotels, others erect 
tents, or live in their wagons during their stay. When 
they have departed, the inhabitants of the town 
fumigate the place. 

Take all that is dirtiest, bravest, most old-fashioned, 
and most obstinate in a Breton, all that is most sus- 
picious, sly, and mean in a Norman, all that is shrewdest, 
most hospitable, and most puritan and bigot( d in a 
Scot, mix well, stir, and serve, and you have a Boer, or 
if you will— a boor. 

No, the world of to-day goes round too rapidly to 
allow the Boer to stand still. He will have " to mend 
or end." 

For a long time the Boers refused to have trains in 
the Transvaal, because this kind of locomotion is not 
mentioned in the Bible, and it was only by calling the 
railways "steam tramways " that they were induced to 
have them at all. 

The Transvaal Parliament, the Raad, has refused to 
have the Government Buildings insured against fire, 
because, " if it be God's will that they shall burn, there 
is no going against it." 

The most sublime thing in this line is the discussion 
which took place in the Lower House of the Raad on 
the extermination of locusts (Session 1893). 

I have extracted from the papers the following 
account of part of the debate; 



JOHN BULL & CO. 297 

" Dr. Leyds, Secretary of State, read a communication 
from the Cape and Orange Free State Governments, 
requesting cooperation in the destruction of locusts. 

" Mr. Roos said locusts were a plague, as in the days 
of King Pharaoh, sent by God ; and the country would 
assuredly be loaded with shame and obloquy if it 
tried to raise its hand against the mighty hand of the 
Almighty. 

" Mr. Declerg and Mr. Steenkamp spoke in the same 
strain, quoting largely from the Scriptures. 

" Mr. Wolmarans proposed a general day of prayer 
and humiliation for South Africa. 

" The chairman related a true story of a man whose 
farm was always spared by the locusts, until one day 
he caused some to be kilh.d. His farm was devastated. 

" Mr. Stoop conjured the members not to constitute 
themselves terrestrial gods, and oppose the Almighty. 

" Mr. Lucas Meyer raised a storm by ridiculing the 
arguments of the former speakers, and comparing the 
locusts to beasts of prey, which they destroyed. 

'• Mr. Labuschagne was violent. He said the locusts 
were quite different from beasts of prey. They were 
sacred animals, a special plague sent by God for their 
sinfulness." 

This is how far the Boers have reached in the end of 
the nineteenth century. 

And, in looking at the assembly, you are prepared 
for anything. A few intelligent heads here and there : 
but the great majority is composed of rough-looking 
sons of the soil, with large, square heads, and small, 
sleepy, though cunning eyes. 

The Boers are all dead shots. They do not wildly 



298 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



aim into the mass ; each picks out a man, and that 
man's hour has come. Every shot tells. If they do 
aim into the mass, they bring down their enemies 
thirteen to the dozen. They count on their sure aim 
to preserve their independence. 

The two South African Republics possess three towns 




BLOEMFONTEIN, ORANGE FREE STATE. 

which must be mentioned : Bloemfontein in the first, 
Pretoria and Johannesburg in the second. 

Bloemfontein is a town of five or six thousand in- 
habitants, that resembles the most modern towns of the 
Cape — a market-place, a comfortable club, negroes, dust 
ankle deep and pure air. The Parliament and the 
President's house are rather pretty buildings. At one 
end of the town there is a fort garrisoned by the 



JOHN BULL & CO. 299 

regular army of the republic, which is composed of 
about forty soldiers got up like Prussians, But if there 
are few soldiers in the two republics, every man is 
brave and a good shot, and twenty thousand men are 
ready to bear arms in defence of their liberty. Beyond 
the town, the yellow desert, arid and dusty, stretching 
away to the horizon. 

Pretoria, the capital of the Transvaal, is more inter- 
esting. Verdure has been brought there, pretty houses 
have been built, and the Government Building, which 
cost over two hundred thousand pounds, is the most 
massive and imposing-looking public building in South 
Africa. 

As for Johannesburg, that demands a special 
chapter. 



CHAPTER XXXV. 

Johannesburg, the Gold City — The Boers again — The Future 
of the Transvaal — Miraculous Development of Johannes- 
burg — Strange Society — Stranger Wives and Husbands — 
Aristocracy in Low Water — The Captain and the Magis- 
trate. 

The most marvelous monument of British energy 
and perseverance is Johannesburg, the city of gold. 

Johannesburg, which is seven years old and no more, 
is to-day a town of 60,000 inhabitants, well built, pos- 
sessing first-class hotels, shops as important, as those of 
the large European towns, elegant suburbs, dotted over 
with charming villas ; and although there is not a tree 
to be found growing wild within five hundred miles, 
Johannesburg has a very promising park and beautiful 
private gardens. And please to remember that the 
railway was only brought to Johannesburg a year ago,* 
so that each stone, each plank, each nail that served to 
raise this city in the desert, by enchantment, so to 
speak, must have been brought there in heavy carts 
drawn by oxen, at the rate of about a mile and a half 
an hour. 

Johannesburg is not only the most important town 
of the Transvaal, it is the most important town of South 
Africa. 

The Boers cannot boast of having contributed either 
to its birth or its growth ; Johannesburg is a cosmopol- 

* At the time I write these lines (December, i893\ 
300 



JOHN BULL & CO. 3OI 

itan town, where every nation seemed to me to be rep- 
resented except the Transvaal. The Boers are farmers 
and sportsmen, nothing more. Their ancestors were 
farmers, and they do not conceive that they themselves 
could be anything else. Ignorant, bigoted, behind the 
times, these Dutch Bretons, transplanted in Africa, cul- 
tivate the soil like the contemporaries of the patriarchs, 
and refuse even to look at agricultural machinery. They 
do not change their ideas — nor their linen. They are 
hospitable, slaves of routine, dirty, brave, and lazy; 
they have much religion and few scruples ; they are 
content to live as their ancestors lived, and ready to die 
on the day that the independence of their country is in 
danger. 

The Transvaal will never be an English colony. The 
English of the Transvaal, as well as those of Cape Col- 
ony and Natal, would be as firmly opposed to it as the 
Boers themselves, for they have never forgiven England 
for letting herself be beaten by the Boers at Majuba 
Hill and accepting her defeat, a proceeding which has 
rendered them ridiculous in the eyes of the Dutch pop- 
ulation of South Africa. Johannesburg will absorb the 
Transvaal ; the apathy of the Boers will be bound to 
give way to the ever-increasing activity of the English ; 
but the prestige of England will profit nothing by this. 
The Transvaal is destined to become an Anglo-Saxon 
republic, which will form part of the United States of 
South Africa. With me this is not a simple impression, 
but a firm conviction. 

To form an idea of the significance of this town, so 
flourishing to-day, we must go back to its foundation. 

Johannesburg has been raised in the desert. No riv- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 




enou! 
town, 



rivers, no roads, no 
trees ; that is to say, 
no means of trans- 
port, no means of 
construction. Seven 
years ago the spot 
was occupied by a few 
tents, which served as 
shelter to the daring 
pioneers who had ven- 
tured thus far to seek 
for gold, at the risk of 
death from hunger or 
at the hands of sav- 
ages. It was only at 
the end of two years 
that they could get 
^h wood and bnick to begin the semblance of a 
The greatest hindrance was the Avant of water, 



JOHANNESKURG, 
PAST AND I'RESENT 



JOHN BULL & CO. 303 

and those who wished to indulge in the luxury, I do 
not say of a bath, but a simple ablution, had to do it 
in seltzer-water at two shillings a bottle. But irrigation 
works have been carried out, and the town now pos- 
sesses reservoirs. This is a happy thing, for the price 
of seltzer-water has not changed. In Johannesburg you 
pay two shillings for a glass of beer, one and sixpence 
for a cigar, and everything else is proportionately ex- 
pensive ; but the inhabitants earn money easily, and so 
no one grumbles. 

The streets of Johannesburg are wide and straight ; 
the town possesses pretty theatres, excellent hotels, and, 
I repeat, all that modern civilization can demand. 

Experts assure us that the gold mines of Johannes- 
burg are inexhaustible. If this be true, and I do not 
doubt it, in less than ten years this town will be one of 
the largest commercial centres of the world. 

At present it is a gambling den, where you are 
blinded by dust, but need strictly to keep your eyes 
open. Alongside distinguished, serious, and most hon- 
orable people, you have a decidedly mixed and contra- 
band society — millionaires, broken-down swells, shoddy 
barons, and financial gamblers, adventurers of all na- 
tions — German, English, French, Italian, Greek, Le- 
vantine, Jews, by birth and by profession, living from 
hand to mouth, passing their lives between the hope 
of being millionaires and the fear of being bankrupt. 
Pretty women, with painted cheeks and tinted hair, on 
the lookout for adventures, dying of ennui, passing their 
lives in card-playing, dining and dancing ; while the 
men are at the Stock Exchange, the club, or drinking 
and chatting with barmaids covered in rouge and dia- 



304 JOHN BULL & CO. 

monds, and whose wages are twenty-five pounds a month 
without extras. DwelHng in the midst of these, I re- 
peat, exists a colony of delightful people, who necessa- 
rily hold somewhat aloof from this crowd — an aristoc- 
racy of manners, a choice set, composed of financiers, 
merchants, engineers, people such as one meets in the 
best society in Europe, and of whom I have not spoken 
much, precisely because they differ in nothing from 
their fellows in any other community. 

Well, after all, the history of Johannesburg is but the 
history of San Francisco, Denver, and every other town 
in the world to which the discovery of a precious metal 
has suddenly attracted an adventurous population in 
search of easy gains. Towns of this kind, and the most 
flourishing of them, are like revolutions — they have been 
started by adventurers. I do not by any means employ 
the word adventurer in its objectionable sense. 

What strange ups and downs they see, some of these 
adventurers ! What cases of pluck, and what pocketing 
of pride you meet with, and cannot but admire ! 
- In an Australasian town I visited, there was at the 
hotel an Englishman of high breeding, good education, 
arid perfect manners, filling the position of handy-man. 
He kept the accounts, watered the garden, wielded a 
feather-duster on occasions, and went to the quay to 
meet the boats and secure patronage for the establish- 
ment, wearing a cap bearing the name of the hotel in 
red letters. This man had been a captain in the Eng- 
lish army ; he was an officer no longer, but still every 
inch a gentleman. 

I remember an English lord who was philosophically 
earning his bread by making jam-tarts in a Californian 



JOHN BULL & CO. 305 

town. The baker who employed him paid him a dollar 
a day. He accepted his position without much mur- 
muring ; but he had one thing to complain of, which 
was that the Chinese cooks in California worked so 
cheaply that this occupation seemed to hold out no 
prospect of future advancement. " These confounded 
Chinamen," he would exclaim ; " if it was not for them, 
one could get on ! " 

What pathos in these few words ! 

In its own line, the following incident is still more 
piquant : 

At the Cape I had made the acquaintance of an Eng- 
lishman, well informed, well dressed, full of good spirits, 
excellent company, a man holding a good position in 
the town. I met with him again at the club of an in- 
land town. My manager and I were talking to him 
when another gentleman came into the smoking-room, 
took up a paper, and sat near by to read it. 

"Ah," said our Englishman, "there is my old friend 
Brown ; I must introduce you. He is one of the mag- 
istrates of the town, a charming fellow; he will be de- 
lighted to know you." 

Gay as a lark, light as a feather, he rose, went to 
fetch his friend, brought him to us, and made the intro- 
duction. 

" My old friend Brown," said he, tapping him lightly 
on the shoulder. 

Mr. Brown bowed rather stiffly, exchanged a few 
words with us, and reapplied himself to his newspaper. 

Our Englishman left us. We remained in the smok- 
ing-room. Mr. Brown, in the friendliest manner possi- 
ble, came back to us. 



306 JOHN BULL & CO. 

"What impudence," he began, "to introduce me to 
you as one of his old friends ! In my capacity of mag- 
istrate, I gave him three years' imprisonment for em- 
bezzlement five years ago." 

"My old friend Brown! a charming fellow!" I 
thought the thing was immensely droll. 



CHAPTER XXXVI. 

" Oom " Paul, President of the Transvaal — John Bull's Redoubt- 
able Adversary — A Short Interview with this Interesting Per- 
sonage — A Picturesque Meeting between two Diplomats. 

Mr. Paul Kruger, President of the Transvaal, is a 
man whose personahty is one of the most striking in 
South Africa. One may say that on the figures of 
President Kruger and Mr. Cecil Rhodes all the political 
interest of the country is centered. Mr. Cecil Rhodes, 
the pioneer of British civilization, alert and enterpris- 
ing; President Kruger, the old Boer, cautious, slow- 
going, patriotic, the last defender of Dutch interests, a 
wily diplomat, who, the head of a little republic com- 
posed of about twenty thousand men able to bear arms, 
holds his own against the British, has foiled them more 
than once by diplomacy, and once beaten them in bat- 
tle on Majuba Hill. Mr. Cecil Rhodes, who drives the 
wheels of the South African chariot ; " Oom " Paul, who 
acts as a drag on these wheels. 

His Honor, the President of the South African Re- 
public, or of the Transvaal, surnamed by his people 
''Oo)n PauV (Uncle Paul), is a thick-set man, rather 
below the middle height, who carries his seventy-odd 
years lightly. His forehead is narrow, his nose and 
mouth large and wide, his eyes small and blinking, like 
those of a forest animal ; his voice so gruff and sonorous, 
that his ya is almost a roar. From his left hand the 
thumb is wanting. It was he himself, when a child, 

307 



3o8 



JOHN BULL & CO. 



who, having one day hurt this thumb badly, took it 
clean off with a blow from a hatchet. He barely knows 
how to write, and he speaks in that primitive language, 
the Dutch patois spoken by the South African farmers : 




"OOM" PAUL. PRESIDENT OF THE TRANSVAAL. 

I is, thou IS, he is ; Wc is, you is, they is. Uncle Paul's 
eye is half veiled, but always on the lookout : it is the 
eye that he is obliged to keep on the English. The 
wily one says he does not speak nor understand a word 



JOHN LULL & CO. 



309 



of English. I am willing to believe it, although the 
joke is hard to assimilate. 

I had the pleasure of being introduced to " Oom " 
Paul by Monsieur Aubert, French consul in the Trans- 
vaal. It was in the Parliament, or Raad, during the few 
minutes' interval allowed to the President and members 
for a smoke between the debates. I begged him to 





1 


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1 


ku 








ft 




1 








t^^^^H^H 


^L 




^H 










|H^^^^^ 




ak. 


1 -s 


1^' 


:-T \ 


"l€!^. l^WI^T^ e.^» •»«■-) 


?Rf 




8» 








- 





OOM PAUL S PRIVATE RESIDENCE, PRETORIA. 



give me a few moments' interview in his own house, 
and he willingly made an appointment for five o'clock 
that evening. The editor of the Pretoria Press very 
kindly accompanied me, and acted as interpreter. 

I do not know if President Kriiger took me for some 
spy in the pay of the English, but I seemed to inspire 
him with little confidence, and during the twenty min- 
utes that the interview lasted he never looked me once 



3IO JOHN BULL & CO. 

in the face. Whenever I asked him a question, he took 
some time to think over his answer ; and then it would 
come out in a weighty manner, the words uttered slow- 
ly, having been turned over at least seven times in his 
mouth. Here, in a few words, is the gist of the con- 
versation : 

" I suppose, Mr. President, that since the victory that 
your brave little nation gained over the English on 
Majuba Hill, the Boers bear no animosity to England ? " 

" To-morrow is the 24th of May, and, in honor of 
Queen Victoria's birthday, I have adjourned the Parlia- 
ment." 

Here, to begin with, was a response which for caution 
I thought worthy of a Scot. 

"They fear in England," I went on, "that the victory 
may have made you arrogant." 

" That is absurd ; the English might easily have re- 
paired their defeat and crushed us. They recoiled at 
the idea of annihilating a people who had shown that 
they were ready to shed the last drop of their blood to 
save their independence." 

" Johannesburg is, I see, completely given over to the 
English. Before ten years have passed, the gold mines 
will have attracted to the Transvaal a British popula- 
tion greatly outnumbering the Boers. And Johannes- 
burg is hardly forty miles from your capital." 

"The English are welcome in Johannesburg. They 
help us to develop the resources of the Transvaal, and 
in nowise threaten the independence of the country." 

" That is true, Mr. President ; but the Transvaal 
seems to be now surrounded on all sides. I hear of 
troubles in Matabeleland, and if the English take pos- 



JOHN BULL & CO. 31I 

session of that vast territory* you will be completely 
encircled." 

" That is why I claim Swaziland, which will allow us 
to extend our country towards the sea." 

" Towards the sea, yes ; but to the sea, no," 

" I can count upon eighteen thousand men, sir, who 
will die to the last man to defend the independence of 
their country," 

And the only reply that I could obtain to one or two 
more questions on the dangerous position of the repub- 
lic which he governs, may be summed up in these 
words : " We are ready to die, every one of us," 

But they will not need to die ; for if ever the English 
invaded the Transvaal in their search for gold, and suc- 
ceeded in getting the government of it into their own 
hands, they would keep it an independent republic ; 
that is to say, they would take into their own hands the 
reins now held by " Oom " Paul, and the change would 
only be a change of coachmen. The English Crown 
will not profit by the change, for the Transvaal, I re- 
peat it, will never be an English colony again. 

The President's mode of life is primitive. He smokes 
an enormous pipe in the drawing-room, where our inter- 
view takes place, and expectorates on the carpet in the 
most unceremonious manner. His salary is i^8,ooo a 
year, and his indemnity for public expenses ^^500 a 
year. He saves the salary, and lives comfortably on 
the indemnity. 

When it was decided that Sir Henry Loch, High 
Commissioner for South Africa, and President Kriiger 
should meet and discuss the details of the Swaziland 
* They have taken possession of it since this interview. 



312 JOHN BULL & CO. 

Convention, they both journeyed to Colesberg, and 
both put up at the same hotel. 

It is President Kriiger's habit to rise at five every, 
morning. 

Having taken a night's rest after his journey, Sir 
Henry Loch rose at six to take his morning tub. 

On his way to the bathroom, in the usual light cos- 
tume, he passed in the corridor the quaint figure of 
" Oom " Paul, enjoying his early smoke, in a frock coat 
covered with orders, a high hat, and — slippers. 

Opposite his house stands a church where the Dop- 
pers of Pretoria assemble on Sundays. It is often 
" Oom " Paul who preaches the sermon. He loves 
theological discussions. He is a mixture of the Scot 
and the Norman. Even this mixture fails to give an 
idea of the shrewd and clever Dopper. 



CHAPTER XXXVII. 

The Success of the Firm, John Bull & Co. — The Explana- 
tion — The Freest Countries of the World — Illustrations to 
Prove it — The Future of the British Empire — Reflections of 
a Sour Critic — Advice to Young Men — And Now Let Us 
Go and Look on an Old Wall Covered with Ivy. 

It is neither by his intelligence nor by his talents that 
John Bull has built up that British Empire, of which 
this little volume can give the reader but a faint idea ; 
it is by the force of his character. 

Thomas Carlyle calls the English " of all the Nations 
in the World the stupidest in speech," but he also 
rightly calls them " the wisest in action." It is true that 
John Bull is slow to conceive ; but when he has taken 
a resolution there is no obstacle that will prevent his 
putting it into execution. There are three qualities 
that guarantee success to those who possess them. John 
Bull has them all three : an audacity that allows him 
to undertake any enterprise, a dogged perseverance 
that makes him carry it through, and a philosophy that 
makes him look upon any little defeats he may now and 
then meet with as so many moral victories that he has 
won. He never owns himself beaten, never doubts of 
the final success of his enterprise ; and is not a battle 
half won when one is sure of gaining the victory ? 

To keep up the British Empire, an empire of more 
than four hundred million souls, scattered all over the 
globe, to add to its size day by day by diplomacy, by a 

313 



314 JOHN BULL & CO. 

discreetness which hides all the machinery of govern- 
ment, without functionaries, with a handful of soldiers 
and more often mere volunteers, is it anything short of 
marvelous? And at this hour, I guarantee that not one 
single colony causes John Bull the least apprehension. 

One magistrate and a dozen policemen administer 
and keep in order districts as large as five or six de- 
partments of France. There is the same justice for the 
natives as for the colonists. No Lynch law, as in Amer- 
ica. The native, accused of the most atrocious crime, 
gets a fair trial, and a proper jury decides whether 
he is innocent or guilty. 

All those young nationalities, Canada, Australia, New 
Zealand, and South Africa, enjoy the most complete 
liberty, political and social. The English respect their 
susceptibilities so much, that during the Transvaal War, 
the Cape Parliament having decided to refuse to allow 
the English troops to disembark at Cape Town, Gen- 
eral Roberts and his army were obliged to land at Dur- 
ban, and arrived too late to save General Colley, who 
was killed at Majuba Hill, or to prevent the destruc- 
tion of his men. John Bull did not consider himself 
more at home at the Cape on this occasion than a fa- 
ther visiting his son-in-law would consider himself in his 
own house. 

During my stay in Africa a company of musicians 
announced a concert at Bloemfontein, the Boer capital. 
According to the English custom, the program was to 
terminate with " God save the Queen." 

It was a want of tact on the part of the artistes, no 
doubt. 



JOHN BULL & CO. 315 

The authorities ordered that the English national 
anthem should be taken out of the program. 

If, in any part of the British Empire, any singer took 
it into his head to sing " God save the President of the 
Boer Republic," I guarantee that there would be no 
objection raised to it. On the contrary, the English 
would probably say, " Why, that is a song quite new to 
us, let us go to hear it." 

The Chief-Justice, the first magistrate of the colony 
of Victoria in 1892, was a republican, a partisan of Aus- 
tralian autonomy. He hid his opinions from no one : 
but his talents as a jurisconsult and his reputation as a 
man of integrity were so well known and appreciated, 
that John Bull did not hesitate an instant about placing 
him at the head of the colonial bench. 

All these new countries, which are so many outlets 
for the commerce of the world, are not monopolized by 
the English for their own use only. People from other 
nations may go there and settle without having any for- 
mality to go through, or any foreign tax to pay. They 
may go on speaking their own language, practicing their 
own religion, and may enjoy every right of citizenship. 
And if they are not too stubborn or too old to learn, 
they may lay to heart many good lessons in those nurs- 
eries of liberty. 

If I have not succeeded in proving that, in spite of 
their hundred and one foibles, the Anglo-Saxons are 
the only people on this earth who enjoy perfect liberty, 
I have lost my time, and I have made you lose yours, 
dear reader. 

The inhabitants of the Colonies in the present day 



3l6 JOHN BULL & CO. 

are proud to call themselves Australians, Canadians, 
and Afrikanders. The spirit of nationality grows 
stronger day by day, and it is John Bull himself who 
feeds it. Every Englishman who goes and settles in 
the Colonies, ceases after a few years to be English ; 
he is a Canadian, an Australian, or an Afrikander, and 
swears by his new country. These Anglo-Saxons have 
an aptitude, a genius, for government inborn in them, 
and it is out of pure politeness toward the old mother- 
country that they accept the Governors she sends them, 
and this only on the understood condition that they 
shall occupy themselves as little about politics as do the 
Queen and members of the Royal Family. If the 
Queen of England dared to say in public that she pre- 
ferred Conservatives to Liberals, the English monarchy 
would not have ten years to live. If the Governor of 
any colony allowed himself to speak on politics in pub- 
lic, except by the mouth of ministers elected by the 
people, that colony would proclaim its independence 
the week after, and the Governor would have to avail 
himself of the first steamer sailing for England. 

If ever any colony mentioned in this volume should 
proclaim her independence, she may gain prestige in 
her own eyes, but she will not be casting off any yoke, 
for she could not be freer than she is at present. She 
will be a junior partner starting business on her own 
account, and thenceforth dispensing with the help of the 
head of the firm, who guided her early steps without 
ever demanding an account of her movements. 

There are many people in England who believe that 
the future fate of the British Empire is to be a Con- 
federation, having London for its centre, and that the 



JOHN BULL & CO. 317 

Colonies will favor the scheme. If there is one pro- 
found conviction that I have acquired in all my travels 
among the Anglo-Saxons in the different parts of the 
world, it is that the Colonies do not want confedera- 
tion, and will never move toward the realization of this 
dream in which so many patriotic Britons indulge. To 
begin with, the Colonies are much top jealous of one 
another to care for amalgamation. Each one will in- 
sist on keeping its individuality, nay, its nationality. 
Moreover, not one of them has the least desire to be 
mixed up in any quarrels that England may one day 
have with any European power. John Bull would be 
wise to get the confederation idea out of his head. 
With the exception of Canada, which may possibly one 
day become part of the United States, the Colonies will 
remain branches of the firm, John Bull & Co., or they 
will become independent. For any one who has felt 
the pulse of those countries, it is impossible to think 
otherwise. 

A sour and unkind critic might thus sum up his im- 
pressions of the British Colonies in the southern hem- 
isphere : " I have seen mountains without trees (South 
Africa), trees without shade (Australia), plains without 
herbage, rivers without water, flowers without perfume, 
birds without songs, a sun without pity, dust without 
mercy, towns without interest," etc. 

A kinder and fairer critic would reply to this asser- 
tion : " It is certain that the countries which have a fu- 
ture are less interesting to the traveler with artistic 
tastes than the countries which have a long history. 
America and the Colonies have no old cathedrals nor 



3l8 JOHN BULL & CO. 

ruined castles to show. The inhabitants of the Colo- 
nies are enterprising people, who in half a century have 
founded cities, I might say nations, capable of compet- 
ing in commercial importance with cities and nations 
that it has taken ten centuries to develop. I have seen 
in the Colonies, skies without clouds, winters without 
cold, festivity without boredom, food almost without 
cost, hospitality without calculation, millionaires with- 
out pride, birds with gorgeous plumage, trees with 
health-giving properties (how such a list could be ex- 
tended !), and kind hearts everywhere." 

There are two kinds of critics, those who complain 
that roses have thorns, others who are grateful that 
thorns have roses. 

The colonials have all the qualities and all the little 
foibles of the English, and if isolation has intensified 
some of their faults, it has also accentuated their vir- 
tues. 

For any young man, steady, hard-working, and per- 
severing, no country offers such present advantages 
and future chances as the Colonies. 

The Colonies have no room for blase young Euro- 
peans who have only the remnants of themselves to 
offer. They are like fair young brides with the con- 
sciousness of their own worth ; what they want is fresh 
and ardent youth, workers of all sorts, skilled artisans, 
intelligent vineyard hands, hardy field laborers, men 
with healthy bodies and upright minds, practical and 
laborious, To all such the Colonies promise success, 
and invariably keep their word. 

If I were a young man of twenty, I would probably 



JOHN BULL & CO. 319 

go and settle in one of these young countries, but I 
have arrived at an age when it is hardly possible for a 
man to start a new life. I am too much attached by a 
life's souvenirs to old Europe to be able now to do 
without her. 

After years of travels through new countries, I was 
longing to see some old ruin that would remind me that 
the world had other pages than these freshly written 
ones. 

The day before I left South Africa to return to Eu- 
rope, Sir Thomas Upington, the genial and witty judge 
of Cape Town, said to me ; 

" Well, after all these long travels, what are you going 
to do now ? " 

" What am I going to do ? " I replied. " I am going 
to Europe to look at some old wall with a bit of ivy 
on it." 






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